this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 year ago

I say "god damn you" to unwork the broken blessing system.

[–] gibmiser 68 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Instead try this: Say "What?" And stare at them. Wait for them to explain. Act as though you do not know what a sneeze is. Allow them to explain the process of a sneeze. Tell them you have never experienced that in your life. Wait for them to get exasperated then in a dismissive way mention that you aren't sure you believe them, and change the subject.

Congratulations, you have won this interaction.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The ol' smooth shark maneuver

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like to say “acknowledged!” like Picard

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I'm going to sneeze."

"Make it so!"

[–] CertifiedBlackGuy 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"You may fire when ready."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

His name is spelled with one "l"; "Wil"

(He'll probably block me for that, if he's on Lemmy)

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 1 year ago
[–] danc4498 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always say “shut up” in the most annoyed way possible.

[–] Daft_ish 2 points 1 year ago
[–] doingthestuff 29 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don't see anything wrong with gesundheit. It means health. And really I feel like the German expression is just saying - be healthy dammit, and stop sneezing!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You can also say "Schönheit – gesund biste ja": "Beauty – you're already healthy after all"

[–] JayObey711 2 points 1 year ago

It used to be something to say to yourself. A little "fuck I hope I'm not next" prayer.

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[–] BeefPiano 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People who intentionally yell when they sneeze can fuck off.

[–] VoilaChihuahua 12 points 1 year ago

It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you're having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there's a reason some people scream-sneeze.

[–] Repelle 7 points 1 year ago

I vocalize pretty loudly when I sneeze and it’s entirely involuntary. I hate that I do it and I’ve tried to force myself to stop and it doesn’t work.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Fucking grow up."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] MrJameGumb 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This was covered extensively on an episode of Seinfeld

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

You're soooooo good looking.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Seinfeld

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

sneeze once "Bless you."

Sneeze twice "Gesundheit."

Sneeze three times "Ok now you're just fishing for attention."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” - in a Siri voice “Nah, I’m good, thanks though.” “Dude! You scared the crap outta me!”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

"I hate when you do that"

That's my favorite

[–] Funkymatt 9 points 1 year ago

I always 'shhhh' like a librarian would

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Ashley Johnson's reactions to Sam Riegel sneezes

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

"Satan curse you"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Greece we say "Γείτσες", which is a dimunitive for "Υγεία" (=Health), so essentially its like wishing the other person to be healthy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

We say the same in the Netherlands, and sometimes we also say the equivalent for "cheers", not sure why though.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I usually go with "None of that"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago
[–] garbagebagel 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like to say GOD BLESS YOU in the most dramatic exaggerated way possible immediately after I sneeze so I beat everyone to the punch. You can't bless me bitches.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 1 year ago

"Don't you dare ask God to help me," Crawford reportedly snapped at the nurses praying at her bedside, before moments later the Academy Award winner took her final breath.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/films/1749878/joan-crawford-final-words-spt

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sneezing isn't normal! I never sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I sneeze multiple times daily whenever I go outside because of ACHOO Syndrome (yes that is a real name lol)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

You poor dear! You should see a doctor. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO SNEEZE!

reference

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

reference

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That was hilarious. Gonna have to check out their podcast.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

"Well done" and "clean that up" are my favourites

[–] m3t00 4 points 1 year ago

get any on you?

[–] Viking_Hippie 4 points 1 year ago

"I disagree"

[–] SpaceNoodle 4 points 1 year ago

I always tell my partner to cut it out when they sneeze.

[–] ooterness 4 points 1 year ago

I prefer the simple "Curse you."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
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