this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Live off my body fat for a while, trying to eat tree bark. Then freeze to death in winter.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I have a few apps installed just in case I need them, but that all depends on battery life. Gotta learn fast. When winter comes it's probably over regardless

  • Survival Manual (Fdroid), someone posted a link below
  • First Aid, Red Cross (Google Play)
  • Knots 3D (Google Play)
[–] Macaroni_ninja 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I would steal the picnic baskets of unaware families. Years of watching Yogi Bear would finally pay off.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

*pic-i-nic if you’re doing it like yogi

[–] Macaroni_ninja 4 points 9 months ago

Boo boo is that you?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] slazer2au 4 points 9 months ago
[–] HangingFruit 1 points 9 months ago

Yeah I also think you wouldn’t

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (2 children)

That's the neat part, I wouldn't.

[–] Agent641 6 points 9 months ago

Lie down. Try not to die. Die a lot.

[–] dingus 3 points 9 months ago

Yeah, it's a lot harder than you'd think. Most of us would fucking die unfortunately...myself included.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Most people will find out in a hurry how hard it is get enough food.

[–] AgentGrimstone 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I watch that TV show Alone and even experienced survivalists struggle to get food. Us normies are screwed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

yeah but they have a very limited amount of supplies from a very limited selection (no guns) and its generally been intentionally in places that are very hard to survive in for one reason or another. Don't get me wrong though. Still hard but if you have yurt with sattelite internet and solar panels and guns and many buckets of survival rations and like something that gets water from humidity automatically and such. well not really as bad. so I guess it depends on how much time you could prep your hiding spot or even your stuff your going to go out with.

[–] AgentGrimstone 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's true and it's similar to how I took the question. If I've gone into hiding, I imagine it's an emergency situation with little to no time to prepare.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

yeah but civiliazation is not far away so you should be able to scrounge at the least. in the show a plastic tarp or anything that can be used as a container is a big deal.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Hah, I would channel the beast inside me and go the way of the wild wolves: find a house and get domesticated.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I probably wouldn't. But as a proper nerd like all of you, i should point that fdroid, of all other things, has a freaking survival manual book covering quite a bunch of things.

[–] CADmonkey 11 points 9 months ago

I installed the manual after reading your comment. There's a lot of good info in it.

[–] serpineslair 3 points 9 months ago

Thanks for this, gonna check it out now.

[–] punkwalrus 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I knew a few survivalists who walked the Appalachian trail. The first hurdle is... humans are not meant to be solitary. We do best in groups, with division of labor, which multiply force. But that's not the question. As many already said: calorie-dense food is really hard to come by in the wild. You have to know what to eat, when to eat it, how to prepare it, and how to avoid depleting it. You also compete with other forces of nature: not just wild animals, but bacteria and insects. You have to know when to rest (most of the time), and how to plan ahead, and plan ahead flexibly.

Me, personally, I know a LOT about how to survive. Enough to know I'd be dead in a week at most. Part of the problem is I am dependent on insulin and other medications to live. But even if that wasn't an issue, I don't know enough to survive alone. I know enough to know that. "Hiding in the woods" means "I am prepared to die in the woods very soon, but was too cowardly to jump off a precipice or something for a quicker end."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

The biggest challenge is that the woods aren't what they used to be. 150 years ago you could walk into the forest and see animals and berries everywhere. Nowadays, you'd need to hunt for days on end to find something like a deer, or a beaver, and you'd be lucky to find a source of naturally growing berries. You can still survive in the wilderness, but it's a lot harder than it used to be, and it was never easy.

Edit: forest animal depletion at 53% 1970-2014. That's just in that time frame. Before 1970 was an even more dramatic drop in forest population, to the tune of 90%. We're on our last few animals now.

[–] OwlPaste 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

As a type 1 diabetic who knows nothing about survival stuff, not long at all

[–] ShittyBeatlesFCPres 10 points 9 months ago

I know how to do a lot of things that would help with survival. I used to do (somewhat) minimalist camping and I know how to fish, hunt, etc. If I had some fishing equipment and a backpack with basic camping stuff, I think I could survive long enough to die of dysentery.

Assuming warm weather. I live in a hot, coastal climate with lots of rivers and wildlife. I have no idea how to survive in cold or mountain regions.

[–] BigWheelPowerBrakeSlider 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Steal stuff from the nearest house (or ask if I wasn't on the run from the law--and maybe even if I was) or town. Otherwise, no, no survival.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] BigWheelPowerBrakeSlider 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yes, this guy is my spirit animal--if I ever walk into the woods to disappear and live off the land. Or the neighbors as the case may be.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

There's a book I read about him, "Alone in the Woods" I think. Really fascinating and I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of him.

[–] weariedfae 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Depends. I think I could survive long enough to succumb to the parasites and bacteria in whatever drinking water source I had to use. My fat stores would keep me going for a good while but I'd be too weak to forage. I can't trap for shit so I'd be on an all bug diet unless there are fish and crawdads.

Yeah for sure the parasites and bacteria would take me out within a month.

This is in the middle of the woods in winter with no resources (maybe a knife). A change to those conditions extends me out a month or two.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

People imagine they die from exposure, or starvation, or wild animals.

Nope. You're going to die from shitting yourself. If you have to choose, eschew the knife and choose the metal pot. At least, then, you can boil your drinking water.

[–] TheDoctorDonna 8 points 9 months ago

I live in Northern British Columbia...so 10 minutes.

[–] cloud_herder 6 points 9 months ago

The amount of people in here that are familiar with the wilderness and survival saying a week or “not long” is sobering… 😐

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I would start by building a shelter and finding a moving water source. Next I would build a fire. Finally I would set up some snares or deadfalls to catch some food.

Now I’m king of the forest like Tom bombadil

[–] LesserAbe 5 points 9 months ago

If we're talking for any extended period of time I would try to seek support from others. If I'm hiding that means some people want to find me, but presumably not everyone. I'm not equipped with the knowledge or skills to survive on my own in the wilderness. Even if I have the skills, inevitably there are going to be challenges which are difficult if not impossible to handle on your own.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Fishing would be pretty much my only source of food during the winter time but in all honesty I'd probably freeze to death before I'd die of hunger

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Depends on how well I know the area and the time of year. My dad was a survivalist, so I at least know what to do. Knowing how to do it — that would be a bigger challenge.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I'd probably be happier, modern life depresses me and while I do think the first few months would be tricky the freedom of it does really appeal to me.

[–] shalafi 4 points 9 months ago

I got a couple of acres of swamp with a very comfy camp setup. You could drop me off naked in January and I'd do OK.

There are a couple of guns and plenty of ammo, but I'm no hunter. Only have a vague idea on how to dress a deer, but I'd have to learn fast! Probably start by sitting still and waiting for a squirrel to wander by. Maybe a rabbit when they come out to silflay.

Since I already have a bit of food on hand, next I would mark a trail down to the river, which I've always meant to do. Got a few fishing hooks and simple gear, but no line or poles. I'd have to scavenge up and down the riverbanks for more gear.

No idea what plants are edible out there, probably my #1 issue. There is surprisingly little biodiversity in the plants. Maybe it's better closer to the river?

Longer term, I would have to figure out how to make animal traps. .22s and 12/20-gauge is not going to last forever. Also, I'd have to eventually move camp to get closer to fresh water.

I'd actually be in great shape but I'm under no illusions. Acquiring food would take almost all my effort.

[–] kalkulat 3 points 9 months ago

Get a very warm jacket, and far enough north that there are still fish to catch and critters to snare.

[–] AnalogyAddict 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Very quickly, to get it over with.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

My "woods" are the Rocky Mountains, so my thinking goes there.

Do I get gear or not? If I have gear, I will be pretty set for a while during summer. I backpack in the wilderness so I can get pretty comfy on minimal kit. I am working on learning foraging, and a region-specific book would be handy. I would be screwed come winter though, because of the snow, wind, cold, lack of fuel (buried under snow), and lack of food.

No gear, that's rough any time of year. I would probably die of exposure pretty quick even in the summer depending on altitude. If I am up in the high mountains the water will probably be safe without boiling, so it could be drunk from the source. I'd have to find a cave or build a shelter in a wooded area. It would be tough to start a fire and do anything without a knife.

I don't want to be in the mountains without gear. Seriously. I think I would head right back down and turn my ass over to the authorities.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] felixwhynot 1 points 9 months ago

Underrated comment

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I probably wouldnt, unless I was with other people. But even then, my chances are slim.

I'd need something to boil water. And I'd need warm enough clothes. It will really start to suck when the bug spray runs out.

I'd do better than some friends in terms of positivity and determination, but only in that.

[–] spittingimage 2 points 9 months ago

Once my supplies ran out, I'd be in trouble. This is a country where even trained, equipped survivalists fail to find enough calories to live off. Before the modern era most people lived on the coast and made fishing and shellfish collecting a big part of their food production.

[–] PP_BOY_ 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Depends on what type of forest it is and what my reason is for being there. Am I hiding or can I interact with other people? In which case, I think I could survive indefinitely in Lower Appalachia, right near the start of the AT. Plenty of through traffic so I'd never get lonely and have a constant source of trade, plus winters would be incredibly mild.