this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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[–] BoxOfFeet 27 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

A coworker gave me some THC laced stuff at work without warning me. So I'm sitting at my desk, when all of a sudden I start panicking. I feel weird. Is my heart stopping? I can't move my arms. I start yelling. Other coworkers come to my aid. I tell them I can't move my arms, while waving them wildly. They tell me I need to go to the hospital. The coworkers who dosed me said he'd take me, and they had to wheel me out to his truck in my desk chair because I said my legs didn't work either.

In the car, he told me I can't say anything about what he gave me, or we'd both be in huge trouble. So, I freak out more. We get to the ER, and I just don't say anything. He's talking for me. In the room, they give me some Valium and I calm down. The nurse thinks we are a couple. He's a 40 year old dude, I was a 23 year old dude. Too freaked out still to correct her.

Next day, go back to the office like nothing happened.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You should have probably gone to HR about that. Without an explanation, the behaviour reflects poorly on you for something your coworker did which was not only illegal, but extremely immoral. You do not give someone drugs without their knowledge or consent! Wtf! You know he only took you to the hospital to protect himself. I would not feel safe working in the same space as him.

[–] BoxOfFeet 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah, of course. I'm fully aware of all of that. That was over a dozen years ago, and that company didn't even have an HR department. At least not in the States.

I actually stayed friends with that guy for years. Even after we both left that place. I just saw him a few months ago at my new company's tech open house, it's a surprisingly small industry.

He probably would have been fired for that, but you really had to try to be fired from that place. Some examples I can think of are:

  • Threaten your boss with gun violence
  • Have a drunken arm wrestling tournament in the shop after hours, then threatening the guy who beat you, and the president of the company with gang violence.
  • Talk about fucking another employee so hard, sparks will come out of her vagina, to her fiance. Then grope somebody afterwards.
  • My favorite, micro-dose LSD for productivity, then make up a flyer about a sacrifice to Cthulu in the break room and distribute it around the building.
[–] Shard 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Jesus H Christ. These are oddly specific and terrifying are these actual reasons people at your company got fired for?

[–] BoxOfFeet 4 points 2 days ago

They sure are! And despite all that, I loved that place until they were bought by a venture capital firm (ironically named DBAG). That's when it went downhill.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I woke up (from a blackout) on the hood of a car. A car that was stopped at a red light and wasn't the car my friends were driving. I guess I leapt out of the backseat and rolled around on their hood? Idk, I blacked out again then came-to again rolling through some wet grass. Blacked out again and woke up on a couch.

Turns out that humans can teleport.

Want more details? Me too. But I have no idea. It was more than two decades ago and I no longer drink.

[–] Today 22 points 3 days ago

Sometimes it's better to not know and just say thank you.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I just posted two pictures of my boobs to a discord server of about 500 people from my city. We'll see how I feel about that later. Atm they're getting a good reception

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

Hey its me i live in your city

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I was given drugs for a tooth extraction and while I do not remember anything about it after I was given the drugs, my friend who was with me did. I had gauze in my mouth and I wanted some fries really badly. I basically walked into the window like an NPC with bad AI and my friend was like, "Elaine don't come in, I'll get some for you!" while trying not to laugh because I was staring into the window with my hands on the glass and my eyes were wide open like I was on crack or something.

Then when she gave me the fries I walked over to a bench outside and I started furiously eating them in a way that looked "savage", all while I had gauze in my mouth! 😂 Everyone was giving me weird looks or laughing. She called a taxi so we could go home and the first thing the driver said was "woah woah woah is she gonna throw up or?"and my friend told him "no she's not drunk she's had a tooth extraction and it's the drugs".

When I got home I passed out in bed and slept for like 20+ hours.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How did I eat fries with gauze in my mouth??

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Elaine don’t come in, I’ll get some for you!”

Spiderman pointing at spiderman meme lol

[–] steeznson 8 points 2 days ago

Tried to go to work after taking benzos. Thought they were out my system but unfortunately not. Luckily a friend who worked there noticed I was fucked up and intercepted me at door. She sat me down on a park bench and called my partner who had to leave her work to give my dumbass a lift home.

This happened in 2019 but we still refer to it as "the incident". Could have gone so wrong if my friends and partner were less supportive. I have no memory of the preceeding 5 days surrounding the incident. Apparently I was out at bars and spending money like a maniac, ruining family dinner parties, etc. Awful.

Benzos are the devil to me. They turn me into a zombie that is seeking to get more fucked up at every point. Friends don't seem to experience this Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde thing I have.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I looked in the mirror and my diagnosis is devastatingly handsome.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Shit myself in the endagine maccas.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Never forget.
And no, I'm not really that smug prick.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Instance checks out

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Sometimes I will mix up their and there or worse your and you're! Another time my phone Auto corrected whose to who's and I was to lazy to fix it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

slow clap gif

Stuck the landing. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

I once used literally to mean figuratively

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

One of my 30+ year old forever-alone friends always makes a complete clown of himself when he's drunk and there's women around. He thinks he's funny and good singer but he's not. Just extremely cringe to be around. On several occasions I have told him while sober that alcohol makes him a completely different person but he doesn't seem to get the hint.

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[–] sleepmode 11 points 3 days ago

I became unruly at a party. Pretty sure my drink was spiked. My girlfriend at the time dragged me off. Apparently I faceplanted in her apartment trying to take my shoes off while sitting on her bed. Woke up to a big carpet burn on my forehead. It hurt like hell and I was mortified.

[–] jqubed 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not exactly drunk or on drugs, but given nitrous oxide while having a cavity filled when I was younger I started to think I was drowning on my own saliva because I couldn’t swallow and they weren’t using the suction thing to clear it out. I started thrashing and flailing about, effectively slapping the dentist.

[–] JackFrostNCola 4 points 2 days ago

I fucking HATE when the dental assistant hasnt got their shit together. Yeah yeah i know its the 12th checkup and clean of the day and you are having post lunch/afternoon fatigue but stop going between letting me gargle saliva and dental tool water or giving the inside of my cheek a suction hickie.

[–] over_clox 14 points 3 days ago

Nice try FBI

[–] superduperpirate 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Drunk: brazenly hitting on a lesbian who was holding hands with her partner

High: one time at the dentist, they gave me anesthesia prior to oral surgery (remember to brush & floss, kids). I was high enough that I thought they were going to give me a boob job instead of a root canal. Because I was high as a kite, I couldn’t really move or communicate, so I just went in & out of consciousness. This was a dozen or so years ago, and I just remember being confused the rest of the day about it.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Did you get the boob job tho? Might help your chances with the lesbian next time.

[–] superduperpirate 5 points 3 days ago

Ha! Not sure how much that would have helped, since I’d have still looked like Peter Griffin albeit with perky boobs.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

The first time I went to a 4/20 party, my friends and I got so high, when we played this trivia game that was on DIRECT TV, we kept trying to answer the commercials that played between the question and answer parts and thought we were just dumb as fuck when every answer was SUPER wrong.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Walked home.

But the house I went to wasn't my home.

[–] toynbee 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

edit: Took several minutes to find that clip and three tries to get the embed to work. Hope you enjoy it!

[–] grasshopper_mouse 5 points 3 days ago

My now-ex who was always horrible at handling their liquor got way too drunk while we were out at the bars in the city. We had to take a 45-min train ride back to the house we were renting during our vacation, where some of my extended family were also staying.

Ex could barely stay conscious during the train ride, then suddenly gets down on the floor and says they're gonna hurl. Luckily I had a plastic bag with me and they threw up in that, but it was a small bag, plus everyone on the train was understandably grossed out, so I make them get up and move to the bathroom at the end of the train (thank God there was one). I distinctly remember a woman grabbing the hand of her small child and pulling them away as she looked on in disgust.

I lock us in the bathroom and Ex throws up in the toilet the entire rest of the train ride. Finally we get to our stop and we have to wait until the very last minute to get off the train because Ex doesn't want to leave the bathroom. Right as we step off the train, it starts moving again to go back to the city.

My cousin picks us up from the train station in their very nice/expensive SUV, and the whole ride back to the house I'm cursing Ex out saying don't you dare throw up in this nice car. We get to the house without incident but I have to drag them up the stairs to the bedroom, get a trashcan under them just in time because they started throwing up again, then monitor them the rest of the night to make sure they don't pass out and choke on their own vomit.

The next morning Ex says they're so sorry and will "make it up to me", and one of the things they offer for this is to "clean the whole apartment when we get home", as though that's normally MY responsibility?? I was pissed at them for weeks for embarrassing me in public and to my extended family (it was the first time they'd met). Such a fucking idiot. One of so many reasons they're now my ex.

Finally

[–] NeoNachtwaechter 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My little brother came home drunk once when he was about 17 or 18 and he was hardly able to walk. I had to help him go into the bathroom because he felt sick. Then he literally hugged the toilet for about half an hour.

[–] slazer2au 12 points 3 days ago

Eh, that's normal tbh.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I thought my plane was on fire so I tried to pull the emergency fire suppression on the engines, but my fellow pilots stopped me.

(For Context: https://abcnews.go.com/US/former-alaska-airlines-pilot-shut-engines-flight-shares/story?id=113066835)

[–] Retreaux 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Wait is this actually you??? Or am I just another gullible fool on the Internet?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (3 children)

LMFAO, I was doing an impression of the dude. There's no way a pilot is on Lemmy, especially not one that's probably facing jail time right now.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm a pilot on Lemmy! But I'm pretty sure I'm not facing jail time right now.

[–] konalt 4 points 3 days ago

BOO 👻👻👻👻 TERRAIN TERRAIN PULL UP

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[–] SendMePhotos 7 points 3 days ago

I guarantee there are pilots on lemmy. Not that one though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

There's no way a pilot is on Lemmy

i'm pilot, icannfly

[–] Today 3 points 3 days ago

Both can be true.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Hol shit lol, been there. Not quite, but i know the feeling

[–] 2ugly2live 4 points 3 days ago

My friend thought she was having a seizure. She was not having a seizure. She was just restless and very high and saying "I'm having a seizure" until she made me call an ambulance.

They didn't even have their sirens on.

Bonus: When I got too high, I was confused in how we knew dinosaurs didn't have their own civilization before the meteor hit and would not let it go for a bit.

[–] Smokeydope 1 points 2 days ago

One night while tripping on acid me and my then friend noticed smoke bellowing out of a medical center and mistakenly thought it was on fire. We called 911 and left an tip but wanted to stay anonymous and get on with our night. The next day I realized that the smoke was coming from a chimney built into the center and felt dumb but I guess its better safe and sorry.

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