superduperpirate

joined 11 months ago
[–] superduperpirate 3 points 2 hours ago

and has the Yankees. Who suck. Fuck the Yankees

Lol. My two favorite MLB teams are the one I grew up watching (having lived in many parts of their media market), and whoever is playing the Yankees.

[–] superduperpirate 14 points 6 hours ago

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[–] superduperpirate 10 points 15 hours ago

Just remembered a bad joke I heard in high school.

A: What’s the state where they grow all the potatoes?

B: Idaho?

A: And I da pimp! nearby 14 year olds are all suitably impressed by this clever wordplay

Note: I was B, and A was a preacher’s kid.

[–] superduperpirate 10 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Similarly:

Q: Why is it so windy in Kansas?

A: Because Nebraska blows and Oklahoma sucks!

Note: I heard this joke a lot during the heydey of the Big 12. Haven’t heard it nearly as much in the last decade or so.

[–] superduperpirate 14 points 1 day ago

Unemployed shipyard workers

[–] superduperpirate 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Joke answer: I once got to fly on a private jet. It was pretty frickin sweet. Show up to the FBO ten minutes before departure time. Pilot haphazardly wands us. Cabin seats 8, and all 8 of us work for the teapot factory. Plane was owned by the factory’s owner.

Real answer: I flew United a couple times last fall and had great experiences. Last time before that was flying Southwest back in 2018, which was also a fairly good experience.

[–] superduperpirate 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

USAF C130 between Kuwait & Iraq was a weird experience. On the way out, it was “aw shit how many more months do I have?” On the way back it was “how much longer until I can get a beer?” Plane was fine while in air, but lowering the ramp on either end felt like walking into a damn blast furnace.

[–] superduperpirate 45 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Erm, that looks like a mirror reflecting the ceiling fan, not a framed picture of a ceiling fan.

[–] superduperpirate 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”

Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”

Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”

When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”

When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”

[–] superduperpirate 1 points 4 days ago

In voyager, the extra images worked once I tapped on them. Otherwise I only saw about the left 40% of the image.

[–] superduperpirate 5 points 4 days ago

Lol, that’s an old HEB name tag. Stores used to have names, titles, & photos of store leadership by the customer service desk.

[–] superduperpirate 5 points 4 days ago

I loved the picture of him and Tilda Swinton doing drag impersonations of each other

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