this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 145 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Get a pot of water ready for any flare ups!

[–] ccunning 117 points 1 week ago

Thanks, Obama…

[–] rockSlayer 55 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't forget that it always tastes better when the turkey is fried while frozen solid

[–] bitchkat 27 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 117 points 1 week ago (3 children)

be sure to fill that baby alllll the way up before dropping the bird in from about counter-height.

[–] dingus 52 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Also make sure the bird is frozen totally solid before slamming it in

Edit: Goddamnit I should have read the other comments first lol. Sorry for the 1000th repeat!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We usually invite the whole family to watch the bird plopping ceremony.

[–] ovalofsand 15 points 1 week ago

"All right kids! Gather 'round! We're gonna plop the turkey!!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Oh, the humanity!

[–] RangerJosie 97 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Make sure the turkey is fully frozen before you put it in.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also, since there will be a bit of oil splattering, make sure to quickly secure your lid with clamps. Hope you have a blast!

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[–] Randelung 37 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

And throw it in quickly! Wouldn't want it to cook unevenly.

[–] Iheartcheese 96 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] mercano 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well, how's his wife holding up?

[–] Screen_Shatter 36 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Addv4 12 points 1 week ago

Well, at least the children...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Was their apartment rent controlled?

[–] Iheartcheese 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] robocall 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass 9 points 1 week ago

Medium rare even.

[–] 200ok 8 points 1 week ago

To smithereens

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[–] Maggoty 91 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Just go ahead and call the fire department now. It'll save everyone time.

[–] slaacaa 55 points 1 week ago (1 children)

“Good afternoon. I would like to book 2 firetrucks and an ambulance for 3pm today. Yes, I can hold.”

[–] lolrightythen 4 points 1 week ago

Make sure to have plenty of ice to cool down the oil

[–] RememberTheApollo_ 68 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Seasoning?

Monoammonium phosphate in a Class B shaker.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago

It’s a fire extinguisher, for those who might need to look it up (like I did)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Depending upon ventilation, if they succeed in drying it enough and not having it overflow getting it in, they might not have to worry about getting it out.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 week ago

I've heard they're best when cooked from frozen

[–] Treczoks 38 points 1 week ago

Such a setup would make me leave the premises faster than a bunch of MAGA-brain uncles could do.

[–] jewbacca117 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Carbon monoxide, my favorite seasoning

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago

I like how you're taking precautions by making sure your floor doesn't get damaged from the oil splatter. Great job!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago

If your oil is a bit too hot toss in some ice cubes

[–] wabafee 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Firehose. For grease fires lol. Yes.

[–] Treczoks 14 points 1 week ago

Absolute fun multipliers!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

And a few buckets of ice

[–] taiyang 22 points 1 week ago

I'm just so glad all the comments have such useful advice for folks. I second the tips suggesting throwing it in frozen and adding more water when things get spicy.

[–] problematicPanther 14 points 1 week ago
[–] BenLeMan 10 points 1 week ago

Just a pinch of a fire truck on standby should do the trick.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago
[–] hperrin 9 points 1 week ago

Toss in a few plugged in power strips and extension cords to add a nice spicy flavor to everything.

[–] NegativeLookBehind 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Coreidan 7 points 1 week ago

Keep doing what you’re doing.

[–] TexasDrunk 6 points 1 week ago

I have several drunken and glib responses ranging from actual seasoning advice to something about the season of the witch. How-the-fuck-ever.....

Run. Just fucking run. Neighbors? Kids? Whatever. Run.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 6 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

A coupe of hand grenades for some extra kick!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago
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