this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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Work Reform

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A place to discuss positive changes that can make work more equitable, and to vent about current practices. We are NOT against work; we just want the fruits of our labor to be recognized better.

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[–] [email protected] 145 points 3 months ago (2 children)

“I want to hold them captive all day long,” Ellison said during a financial presentation on Thursday. “I don’t want them leaving the building … I don’t want them walking down the road for a cup of coffee. We kind of figured out a few years ago how much that cost.”

One, fuck you with a burning stick.

Two, people who are off the clock can go wherever the fuck they want.

Three, you'd better be in that fucking office yourself at least forty hours a week.

Four, put the stick out with a jar of honey and then fuck your own peehole with it.

[–] [email protected] 86 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Ugh my director at work has been enforcing a strict RTO mandate while working fully remote from fucking Florida

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 54 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 months ago

Oh we are >:)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If he's not there, don't work? I'm on the more industrial side of things, but if my boss is maliciously not here, that's just me being paid to dick about on my phone. Or steamdeck if I'm feeling frisky.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Director is like my manager's manager's manager's manager. She doesn't contribute anything other than finding ways to reduce productivity

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Honey is too kind. I was thinking more along the lines of putting the fire out using a jar of Carolina Reapers, and then he can go to town on his urethra with that

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The guy is an out of touch jerk. Sometimes the hilight of your day ia that mental break grabbing a coffee at a cafe and enjoying fresh air. And i get way more work done with WFH, because people need an actual reason to interrupt your work flow

[–] Anticorp 11 points 3 months ago

He doesn't want people to have daily highlights. He wants them completely broken and demoralized so they'll accept whatever shit stick this guy hands them.

[–] Botzo 56 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Absolutely a mask off "let them eat cake" level quote.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

let them eat cake that they buy from the company restaurant

[–] Anticorp 3 points 3 months ago

I don't even know who this guy is, but I want to kick his ass.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 months ago (1 children)

History has shown overworked, burned-out, desperate-to-hold-the-job people make the BEST employees!

Go hardcore or go home! No, wait, not home...

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I so love the idea of giving billionaires a plaque when they hit one billion, then take away 95% of their wealth and having them start again. A forced prestige system.

[–] Taalen 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'd love to start over with 50 million, too

[–] Valmond 12 points 3 months ago

I'd love to stack away a whole million in my life, that way, 50 generations down, one of my great grand children can try the game too!

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago (5 children)

In any office job I've worked, I would have been able to accomplish jack shit for the second half of the day without a break with some food and good coffee.

Also, breaks in which you can do whatever you want are enforced by law around here, and I'd be surprised if it isn't the same in Australia.

That man is both a dick, and a fool.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I feel like I'm a minority, but I HATE lunch breaks or any other unpaid break. I much prefer to work through them and leave an hour earlier. I don't care if I can go out to eat or leave the office, an hour is not enough time to enjoy that. I still feel like I'm "at work".

If I have to work 8 hours a day, then I want to be at work for 8 hours. Not 8 hours +an extra hour that you can say you're "on break" but really your mind keeps thinking over any related problems you might be working on or planning for what you're going to do when you get back from "break".

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[–] NooBoY 3 points 3 months ago

It is. I think fair work should have a word with old mate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Where I live, they can only enforce that you stay on site during breaks if they pay you for your breaks, and lord knows they don't want to do that

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Have a friend who got his PhD in Australia, in neuroscience. He's got enormous personal debt, his department is chonically underfunded, he has two grad students to his name, and he's got to spend every semester writing these long winded grant proposals to maintain any kind of budget.

Then six months ago, a recruiter from Fudan University reaches out to him. Flies him out to Shanghai, wines him and dines him, shows him around the campus, offers him a $1.5M housing allowance plus $500k salary with another $6M in budget and three other PhDs on his team.

He's moving there in March.

[–] inclementimmigrant 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, even if I was offered that I wouldn't touch that shit with a 10 foot pole especially if we're talking about being held captive.

[–] nyctre 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

People being held captive is in relation to the Perth-based mining company that the article talks about. The person you're replying to is talking about a Shanghai-based university. There's no captivity involved there, afaik.

[–] ivanafterall 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

That's the "alternative" to captivity. And it's going to lead to businesses that treat talent like this losing their talent to China. Speaking as someone who has also been contacted by numerous (sketchier than the above referenced) Chinese interests.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago

Damn, the amount of people here that love how the owner class manipulates and sucks them dry is shocking.

Banning wfh should be illegal, period. Of course everyone is different and has different needs but keeping people in the building has multiple benefits for his bottom line, not the employees:

  • no room to talk to other companies’ employees and compare
  • no room to think about company policy without being influenced
  • potential to be overheard talking potential union business

While it is great for highly sought after software engineers to be pampered like this, the majority of people arent this and the reason companies do this only for the highly paid is because they are actually valued and might be able to hurt the company if they are unhappy. Opposed to the many people who are less qualified.

This comment section is a harsh example of privileged people being completely out of touch with the reality of their fellow humans.

I‘d be ashamed.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (10 children)

“So another reason for them to come and enjoy work: drop the little tykes off next door. We’ve got doctors on board and nurses, we’re going to feed them, but mum and dad will be working in our office.”

The fact that you needed to explicitly SAY that is a little disturbing. What was your original plan? To store the kids in a fridge?

And then some minion had to tell you, "sir, children need food water and air to stay alive."

[–] AA5B 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Maybe the guy said it a bit awkward, but are we really complaining that his company is offering a variety of amenities to make it easier for people to work in the office?

A lot of these sound similar to what my company offers except we have no childcare but do have free EV charging. Those are all good things ….. maybe it’s just how they were presented, plus we’re only being asked to be in the office 2 days/week

[–] mriormro 21 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Don't worry guys, the company men are good. They even set up a general store right next door that we can buy anything we need using this stuff they're calling scrip.

[–] AA5B 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)
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[–] vanontom 11 points 3 months ago (6 children)

I think many people would like employers to stop wasting money (on stuff like amenities and activities that were not requested). Instead, make the job more attractive by listening and responding to actual concerns (like WFH, hours, wages).

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[–] feedum_sneedson 27 points 3 months ago (4 children)

What's the exact law when it comes to advocating murder?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago

Remember, jury nullification is a thing. If someone murders a billionaire and you're on the jury, you can just say Not Guilty and there's nothing they can do to you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

As long as you kill them very slowly by draining their life energy over a contracted period of about 40 years its entirely legal, you may even get a tax cut for creating opportunities.

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[–] FlyingSquid 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Taking a quick break and going down to the gas station down the road to get coffee and maybe a pastry was one of the only things that made my last job bearable.

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[–] Wooki 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Its great to see TBH. His employees will read this when they google and share it around the office if they are not already talking about it. They will be demoralised by it, productivity will drop. The high valued talent will move in a heartbeat and he will be left with those that cant get a better deal elsewhere.

But all that wont matter as its a long term problem.

Thats a problem for the next CEO.

Notice the problem here? Accountability!

[–] roofuskit 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Even worse, talented candidates always check out companies before applying.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

I have had a few head hunters chat with me, first question I ask is “will you put 100% WFH in writing?”

Check out our compensation package! Nah.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

So first they force people back into the office because CBD businesses are suffering.

Then they want to ban people from going for a coffee?

Make up your fucking minds!

[–] Etterra 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I say we give him a taste of his own advice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

this is the guy in a souls game that shouts out to ask you a favor but when you return after completing it he's dead and there is a bundle of souls and a piece of armour or weapon waiting

[–] solomon42069 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Shit like this is why I became a contractor. Sick of control freaks with no idea what the job entails telling everyone what to do.

[–] UncleGrandPa 10 points 3 months ago

At least he doesn't chain the employees to their desks

Yet

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

I want to hold them captive all day long.

...another reason for them to come and enjoy work: drop the little tykes off next door. We’ve got doctors on board and nurses, we’re going to feed them, but mum and dad will be working in our office.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRh0QiXyZSk

[–] Shameless 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This is all about building your personal life around work, this guy knows that current WFH initiatives are giving people better flexibility for work to fit around their personal lives.

The things he's offering to basically hold his employees captive for the day, are quite decent. I just don't see them being attractive to people long term.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

I’m quite lucky to work for a company that measures performance based on results, rather than hours spent in the office.

However, work does offer a heap of incentives to head into the office (similar to this, we have an on-site cafe, restaurants, convenience store, gym, daycare facilities and school holiday activities); as sometimes heading in to collaborate with a team in person is a lot more convenient overall.

What this man is trying to offer is similar, except that by forcing attendance he will never be able to match that culture.

[–] Sam_Bass 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Company i work for already does that. Once youre in, only way out is to clock out. And if you clock out early it has to be on record with management with a return date or badge turned in

[–] pyre 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

why the hassle? just give everyone a ball and chain and you don't have to bother with management keeping tabs.

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