Slap you thigh and stand up and say “Welp, it’s getting late…”, then say whatever you need to be doing.
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
83 points (92.8% liked)
Ask Lemmy
26710 readers
1781 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics.
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Be direct. "It's been great, but I have other things to take care of (or get to bed if night). See you later!"
They literally asked "oh, what do you have to take care of?" I said "I have an oil change scheduled" and they said "oh I can go with you"
"No thanks"
Look, I understand, I have social anxiety, but you just need to say what you want and move on. Of they don't like it, then they don't like it - who cares?
This. I think this person has just shown that it's really important to set boundaries with them, and not worry if they like it.
Or better yet, don’t assume whether they’ll like it or not.
“My wife and I planned something special for tonight and I have to do my anal douche.”
Well, I am gay so... you're not wrong.
"You're not going to believe this, but I brought my anal douche, just in case you wanted to douche together!"
That person desperately needs someone in their life to tell them the truth.
“I am done hanging out. I need to be alone now”
Some people are autistic and as an autistic person myself believe me when I say there is like one in ten thousand people who will actually tell the truth, and they only do it once in a blue moon.
Be that person.
“That would be fun but after that I have to xxxxxxx for my mom, then….xxxxxx”
Imply the ‘no’ - that would be butttttt nope.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Tell them straight up
"Alright well it was nice kicking it, but I'm gunna call it a night"
The end
As an autistic person I feel like i'm over staying my welcome sometimes, the easiest way to confront me is be like "hey, great to see you but I have other stuff to do. We should do this again"
I'm not autistic but I do have a lot of fear about over staying my welcome. It has gotten to the point where I would politely ask if I over stayed or if my welcome has expired. I find that being direct is the fastest and most efficient for both parties.
Yes that can be helpful if you are the one feeling you are overstaying, a good amount of the time people are really nice and honest about things so that's really helpful
"Let's go to bed so these people can go home."
Works especially well for brunch guests.
That's great. I might steal this one!
Put everything away. Clear the food, drinks. If it’s night yawn repeatedly “well, got an early morning need to turn in.” If it’s daytime you have another thing planned. “Gotta get the car serviced.”
I personally say in a friendly tone "I'm sorry but I have to kick you out now because I have xxx things to do."
Add something appreciative about their visit/your meeting like "it was great to see you", "thanks for stopping by" or something.
If you are just socially spend, you could also say that. "I hate to kick you out, but I can't people anymore today/my social capacity is spent/it was all a bit much for me today."
People will understand if you are direct. We all have shit to do and limited resources.
Being honest and direkt is often less weird than dancing around the fact that you want them to leave.
My housemate in college would yell something so everyone looked and then take off his paints and say everyone get the fuck out, see you next weekend
load more comments
(2 replies)
“I’m getting tired, it’s time for you to go.”
Some people are just too oblivious and need things spelled out for them. So spell it out.
Say to your wife: "Wife, we go to bed now. The guests surely want to go home as well."
:-)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Be direct and tell them to leave. Be polite if appropriate, but when a guest isn’t getting the message, sometimes you just need to make it simple.
If you're Cuban, you say, "Wait, don't leave yet. I'm about to make coffee." It means you're telling them to leave after the coffee.
"it's been fun, but I'm tired now. Look forward to seeing you another time."
It may help to start setting an end time. Instead of, "I can hang out at 6." Tell them, "I can hang out from 6-8." If they still won't leave you might have to be firm with them. No is a complete sentence, and you don't need to explain why.
“No”
“I’m sorry, No?”
“No”
“No what?”
“No”
“Should I leave now?”
“… … No no”
“No I shouldn’t leave?”
“No”
Some great advice here. I also like this piece of verbal judo: “I have taken up too much of your time, I will let you go now. I have bored you enough with my pedantic nonsense.”
I find it annoying when people talk like this. It sounds like you forced the other person to be with you, or that you consider yourself so important that the other person would sacrifice their comfort for you.
I start cleaning my guns
Yell "get the fuck out" (jk) an alternative would be "please leave"
INFO: How old are they and what is their relationship to you (sibling, coworker, friend, in-law, etc)?
Early 30s and a friend.
Do they overstay their welcome all the time, maybe not even just at your house, but other friend's houses as well?
They still live at home and hate being there.
Play Semisonic's "Closing Time" on repeat.
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Serve them kelp tea.
view more: next ›