this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
345 points (98.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27194 readers
4633 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

All the vibrating alarm clocks I could find do not sync with your phone, and have to be set manually. I thought about getting an Arduino, but then I will have to build the whole thing by myself. The only logical conclusion I could come up with is to get a programable vibrator. But most of them are either very expensive of look too much like a vibrator (sus).

This is the closest I got: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09NNFPHXG https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CD7FPFQ5?th=1

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 111 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What you are looking for is a "Bed shaker". These are often used by the deaf to wake up. A relatively cheap phone-connected one can be found here but it's iphone only. This one works with Android. Both use proprietary apps. The website linked was just at the top of a Google search, you can find stuff like this on Amazon as well.

[–] postmateDumbass 28 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Or replace one leg of the bed with a Sybian

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

Is there like a sign up sheet or?

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 6 points 7 months ago

But OP said no sex toys.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Isn't a phone technically a vibrating alarm clock?

[–] Retrograde 36 points 7 months ago

Also most smart watches will provide this functionality

[–] heartpatcher 19 points 7 months ago (3 children)

The vibrations aren't strong enough

[–] humorlessrepost 61 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Smart watch? Research which ones have a strong vibration. Some are good, some suck.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

A phone won't vibrate strongly enough for you? You could adjust the intensity of those you know

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper 7 points 7 months ago

Nah they're right. My Xiaomi had great vibration, audible without a ringtone but my Pixel now is very weak. Definitely depends on the brand and model.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 7 months ago (2 children)

How about a smart watch? I realise this is kind of specific but I have a Pixel 8 phone and a Pixel Watch 2. The alarms sync, and the vibration on my watch is enough to wake me up.

[–] MrQuallzin 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is my recommendation as well. Having the alarms sync is one of my favorite things with the watch. And when you stop it on one it stops it on both.

[–] scarilog 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I blindly reach down to my watch and press the button there to snooze the alarm, it's great!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] garbagebagel 3 points 7 months ago

And honestly if they're looking for affordability, I have a $25 mi fit (or at least that's what it cost when I bought it 6 years ago) that has the same functionality. The app for it is shit, but it does the job.

[–] MrJameGumb 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Might be kind of difficult to get to sleep with that inside you...

Unless that's what you're into I guess...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] shneancy 21 points 7 months ago (3 children)

falling asleep is fine, getting good sleep is hard, waking up with a toy inside your now dry hole is rough

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

That's why you set the alarm for relubrication.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Ok I like to take coconut oil, the kind that's a solid at room temp, melt it, and let it solidify in ice cube trays at room temp. Then, when I go to put a plug in long term, I pop a lube cube in first. Easy long term lubing

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BigBenis 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] SupraMario 5 points 7 months ago

Or a hammer drill with no bit on it...duct taped to the bed frame. Bam instant earthquake style alarm.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Why does it need to sync with your phone?

What's the goal of connecting it?

As others have mentioned, I'd look for alarm clocks for deaf people. Many are in the $20 range but don't do Bluetooth.

[–] Num10ck 10 points 7 months ago

probably because the times vary

[–] iAvicenna 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

that is one way to wake up

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Rise and shine where the sun don't shine...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

smart watch?

[–] mstrk 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Try a Mi Band. I usually don't recommend Xiaomi products because of their heavy tracking and intrusiveness, but if you only use the band during sleep, you should be fine. If you already have the know-how (which I suspect you do), you can control it yourself through Bluetooth, and the band will erase all data it holds once transmitted.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Some of the Mi Bands work pretty well with GadgetBridge, which would block their ability to phone home. There's a list is compatible devices somewhere on the GadgetBridge wiki.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Or an Amazfit band (Mi band but the more western-sold version). The Band 5 is pretty cheap and has a decent buzzer.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I use a Fitbit flex 2 for that purpose. I doubt they make that model anymore, but probably make something similar. The flex 2 is just a little lozenge-shaped thing that tracks movement, can vibrate, and has a few little lights. The app let's you set alarms (you turn it off by tapping it). I also have mine set to vibrate when I get a text message or a phone call in case I'm someplace noisy and don't hear it.

[–] heartpatcher 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

Hadn't thought about using a sports watch, will try for sure. ty sir🫡

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (3 children)

You can get alarms that you place under the mattress and they shake the entire bed

[–] kpaniz 19 points 7 months ago

The design is very human

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

Like this one?

ejector

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

My Garmin watch alarm vibrates. It syncs with my phone but I don't know if alarms can be set from phone.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well my samsung galaxy phone and my samsumg galaxy watch are in sync

[–] Paddzr 5 points 7 months ago

I came to say that! It's brilliant.

Maybe OP can strap it to their dick or shove it inside to achieve a desirable effect. I can only vouch for wrist mounted experience.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

https://www.amazon.com/iLuv-SmartShaker-Vibration-Bluetooth-Notification/dp/B08V6KH3SJ

This says it's bluetooth with android and apple but I don't know what the bluetooth connection syncs...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I used to use this, you can turn the audible alarm all the way off and just use the shaker!

https://www.amazon.com/Sonic-Alert-SBB500SS-Extra-Loud-Flashing/dp/B000OOWZUK

[–] somewhiteguy 4 points 7 months ago

I had one of these until I got married. You will wake up, many times in a panic. Good times.

[–] captainlezbian 4 points 7 months ago

Bed shaking devices/deaf alarm clocks

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

This is a stupid answer, but you could buy a cheap android phone. The carrier-locked phones are very inexpensive.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I've seen vibrating dildos that look like carrots or cucumbers. They don't look like vibrators and if you're not into butt play, they certainly would wake you up in the morning.

[–] nifty 3 points 7 months ago

Do you have the option to go to bed early enough that you can just wake up at the desired time without an alarm? May not work effectively till you’ve recovered sleep debt. You may need to sleep in late a few weekends to recover sleep debt, but don’t get carried away such that you can’t sleep that night. It also helps to tire yourself out with exercise so you can sleep when you want and then wake up without an alarm.

For other options, try a programmable butt plug maybe

[–] Sanctus 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

What's the issue with just using a real vibrator? Probably easy to find and cheap.

[–] GlitchyDigiBun 4 points 7 months ago (3 children)

It may be that OP is hard of hearing or entirely deaf and does not need physical relaxation so much as a healthy adult sleep schedule.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›