Ask Lemmy

My impression is just that nobody has the money for it anymore.

There is a TV special from 1965 that describes your plight:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Charlie_Brown_Christmas

I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus.

Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy.

I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.

I just don't understand Christmas I guess.

I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards...

...and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy.

I always end up feeling depressed.

Jólabókaflóð – forget gifts, exchange books and sit around a fire drinking hot chocolate

Maybe you're just getting older.

If it wasn't for my kids, I wouldn't even bother with the tree.

It’s obnoxious from start (last week Oct) to finish (1st week Jan). Shit music, saturation marketing, shit social obligations, travel and/or houseguests, waste of money, house is cluttered, etc. it’s draining.

I lost my dad to cancer about two week before last Christmas. And my birthday is a few days after Christmas as well. I'll be damned if I ever feel like celebrating Christmas or my birthday ever again

I wonder if this is true for others but I'm just not close to my family. I think most people have smaller social circles today than they did 10 years ago.

Without close family, there's a lot less to Christmas.

So it's felt like this to me basically since I became an adult. For one, I work in an industry where the holidays mean nothing. And two, now I have adult shit to do, so there isn't a ton of time to just sit around baking and watching Christmas specials and what not. Also can't really stand the consumerist side of things and while I do like giving gifts as a thing, I don't like the idea of "just buy some shit" or "whoever gets the most presents wins."

Now all that said, when I think back to what used to make the holidays special for me, I realized that was adults deliberately making the holidays special. And the shitty thing about being an adult (unless your SO is like, from the Clause family) is that you kind of have to do that for yourself, and you're probably going to have to do boring adult shit to make that happen. Like, you might literally be putting something like "Bake cookies/Watch 'The Grinch'" into your calendar. There is a lot of little things you can do as well - play some music, get some scented candles, stick a bowl of decorative pinecones out, etc.

I think this also helps a lot with other people, or in my case, my kids. I don't have a ton of friends (I'm very much a person with a small circle, but all people i know I can call if i need help moving if that makes sense) but we do some small get togethers. With my kids, I try to do more of the things that make things feel special for them. Lights on the house I could take or leave (back to being lazy) but I do my best and I put them up, even though it was just a few days ago because that was the first day that wasn't pouring where I was at home when it was light out. I make it a point to watch some Christmas movies (and let the kids come to a consensus on which) and bake some cookies or whatever. We usually go every year to that neighborhood where every house has cool lights, even if that is an hour drive away. Lots of little things like that.

Anyway, I feel like the holidays are very much a "fake it til you make it" scenario. I tend to think about it like "what do I remember that I liked about holidays" when I was a kid, and then force myself to do those things. What I've generally found is that there are definitely times I've regretted not doing anything like that, but I never regret when I forced myself to do something like this, and I rarely remember the "forced" part.

Looks like it will be a BROWN Christmas here this year. Which is a grim fucking reminder that we've fucked the planet and it is only going to get worse.

So. There's that.

Could it be an age thing?

I'm 32.
I've had issues with it past maybe 3-6 years.

• Listen at a Christmas radio
• Watch a Christmas movie/animations/cartoons
• Read Christmas books/comics
• Write your own Christmas stories
• Talk about Christmas
• Do your favorite Christmas'y thing
• Create a new Christmas'y habit
• Make a Christmas music playlist
• Create a Chistmas get-together
• Sing Christmas carols (alone or with someone(karaoke))
• Craft something Christmas'y

Listening at music, watching a movie and the radio has helped me reach some level of Christmas!

I'm guessing it has become more of a financial burden to be honest.

Choosing the right gifts, decorations, food. Etc.

Was just talking about this with a coworker yesterday. They'd noticed that in their neighborhood, the amount of decorations out were even less than the year before. No one left the area, just not putting stuff up anymore.

im not that into it. Im sorta a nod and smile and enjoy how other folks are into it. I do like leaving little gifts for my condo neighbors but its gotten skimpier and skimpier as prices have been higher to where now they just get a tin of butter cookies. I would love to get back to where I was changing things up with chocolate or inexpensive wine. sigh.

I guess "getting into Christmas" probably means something different to everyone. For me it's about reliving good memories of friends and family. Some of my favorite memories are decorating cookies with my kids, mixing batches fudge, sipping eggnog and coffee over pie and ice cream, or dancing with my kids to Christmas music.

So for Christmas I play Christmas music, setup a tree, make cookies and fudge, and send the treats and little mementos to friends and family around the country. This year I sent Christmas muffins, fudge, drawings my daughter made, little $1 bottles of peppermint schnapps with Cocoa packets, and other things like Santa socks that I divied up from a cheap multipack. That was the presents I sent out to all our friends and family.

But if I didn't have those memories or enjoy baking, I doubt I would do much for it. So I suppose, ask yourself what getting into Christmas means to you, or take the time to define what you want it to mean to you, and then do the thing. If it's taking a little bit of extra time to show family you are thinking of them, then a little home assembled Cocoa kit and a card might do it. You don't need to go crazy with decorations or buying presents to get into Christmas, unless that is what you want it to mean to you.

there are a lot of factors for me but i feel it, and i think a big part is climate change. i live in new england and it was 60 degreees and raining the other day, pretty hard to get into the holiday spirit when it’s spring outside.

Also, before the goblinos start, yes there are many places where christmas happens in summer, summer type weather, etc, but that is not how it was for me growing up and most of my adult life.

After I parted ways with faith as a kid, the holidays have always seemed very... 'adults who still believe in the tooth fairy' sort of thing. I haven't actually celebrated since I was very young, and tbh it's either a faith-based thing (which I don't believe in, obviously) or it's a cash-grab for corporations to unload back stock while acting like they are actually 'so excited for the holidays'.

While I didn't see a decline or hesitation around my neighborhood generally the last few years, my folks have been less and less giddy as time goes on. A couple years ago they bought their tree on the 24th. It's like the excitement has weaned and they are just doing it because 'we have always done it', which again imo is stupid because you are stressing yourself out (and physically hurting yourself) by decorating the house, buying a tree, etc for something that they are only doing because they feel obligated. I'd happily take an extra $100 as a gift and free up an afternoon by not having to buy, haul home, decorate, and 10 days later dispose of, a tree. Same with house decorations, the neighbors aren't going to care if we don't spend 2 days cursing under our breath, stapling our fingers and almost falling off the room.

I dunno, it's just so foreign to me. Any other time if a fat man burglarized your house, ate your snacks and left mediocre gifts as compensation that you'd return the very next morning anyway, you'd be pissed. But apparently it's totally normal because it's cold outside now.

shrug

definitely. i'm usually dreading the part right after opening gifts. -- the whole day feels stagnant and dead, everything is shut, there's nothing to do but wait for how shitty jan and feb will be. brutal dead awful months

Seeing kids being butchered in Gaza or grieving their dead parents is definitely a bummer for me.

Covid might be "over", but the scars will still remain for some time. A global pandemic doesn't pass without having long term effects.

It could be just down to getting older.

I was forced to realise before covid, that my family is dysfunctional and delusional. This obviously extends to family events such as Xmas.

I lost interest many years ago in the whole theatrics of it, it's a capitalist holiday and nothing more. My family touts that "it's about the thought and the people" when in actuality it's always been about the gifts (and by extension, money spent).

With that said, covid caused a pause in a lot of said family relations, and that was the straw that broke the (camel's) back. Most of my family is now rarely in contact, and Xmas as a family event finally bit the dust.

I'm on top of the world, and there's still money in my wallet, as well as less familial bullshit.

So yeah, I'll take it as a win.

Maybe you're focusing on the wrong things? Christmas, for me, is a time to show my family that I care for them. Yes, through gifts, but also through time spent with them. It's a chance to speak others' love language. For me, doing things for others is how I really feel better about myself.

I hated Christmas when I worked in retail, and for several years after. I've only gotten back into it the past few years, and now my husband has gotten sentimental and wants to put up meaningful ornaments instead of just nice looking ones.

My family didn't have a tradition of gifting ornaments every year so I've been building up a collection of personal ornaments the past few years to catch up with him, which is a cute and fun thing to do as a couple.

I'm sorry I don't know how to help. Personally nothing beats the cosy feeling of hot chocolate in front of a fire, cuddling watching TV, basking in the glow of a lit tree. It feels like Christmas to me and I love it.

Yeah, today when playing my favourite (pirate themed) Christmas album for the first time this year, I noticed that it's already the 20th...