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"please don't fuck over the american people and shut down the government, in a short sighted gotcha because that would ruin my long-term plans to fuck over the american people."
-Bitch McConnell
His long term plans of fucking Americans were complete long before this election cycle.
He still has more!
Does he? I thought he kept freezing up and then slithering away.
He freezes in shock when someone discovers and destroys one of his Horcruxes.
People like that?
Always scheming. Always.
He was running low on his Unicorn blood transfusion
Not if we can find and destroy all of his horcruxes
How are we gonna destroy Ted Cruz's beard?
TBH I never expected this. As he declines from old age ( as I inferred from https://apnews.com/article/mitch-mcconnell-senate-republican-leader-stepping-down-ba478d570a4561aa7baf91a204d7e366 and https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/watch-mitch-mcconnell-freeze-press-conference-rcna96486 ) he's actually becoming a reasonable, sensible politician.
Well, on second thought, I'm being too optimistic.
That's Moscow Bitch McConnell to you buddy
It’s weird how all the Republicans have the same first and middle name
Moscow's bitch McConnel can fuck off to that village the got for american expats. You know. The one right next to the front lines.
The one that somehow, in a way that only Minecraft and Escher could pull off, is only stairs and high windows?
I mean... I wouldn't trust the construction...
(or anything else. I'd just assume that anyone who took that offer would be off to the war in ukraine.)
Does he even have long term plans? After his little "episodes"... last year? God, time is weird now.
Complicating things further, former President Donald Trump has demanded that the House pass the bill as is, and let the government shut down if they can't get it through.
This fucking guy again. Cause chaos, then run as the solution to the chaos.
Republicans! Fuck up the government then run on “minimize the government cause it’s so fucked up”.
In other words, a consummate Republican.
The GOP campaigns on problems; the Dems campaign on solutions. Unfortunately, one of those is much easier to message than the other.
I sincerely hope his plea goes unanswered. I might be mixing up a few empty suits, but wasn't mitch the guy that played chicken with shutting down the government during the Obama administration and was yhe leading voice in the "the scary brown man can't disrupt our plans for the court" bullshit that happened during Obama's time in office.
Shame we don't live in a just world.
Mitch is the reason we have a partisan, hack, SCOTUS.
There's plenty of blame to go around for that one. Trump and The Heritage Foundation also played key roles.
For sure. It's not exclusive to Mitch.
But Mitch was the architect.
He's the reason the far right got 4 SCOTUS picks, instead of the 2 they should have if they played "fair".
Mitch also was the architect for filling all the judicial vacancies in the federal courts with other far right partisan judges.
He's also the architect for the current state of the GOP, and was responsible for most of the Government shutdowns in the last 20 years. Him lamenting this potential shutdown is laughable, to put it mildly.
He's been doing this since at least 2010 when the GOP shifted their strategy away from advancing their democratic platform, and instead winning by fuckery like gerrymandering, blocking all bills in the Senate (as he was the majority leader for around a decade) that might advance the Democrat roadmap/agenda, and then immediately turning around and blaming democrats for the bill his party just blocked.
Mitch is the reason why the GOP is kept in line today.
His departure from politics, forced or otherwise, will have a huge impact on the GOP. There isn't another person in their group that can hold all the different groups together and keep them focused on making democrats appear to look bad, like Mitch.
As much as I hate the guy (and boy, do I), he's a masterful politician. I mean that as the damning insult it's meant to be.
McConnell subsequently added the following commentary:
Lololol
Seen here accusing Nancy Pelosi of stealing his precious.
"The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."
Damn right, I'm not helping.
"How does that make you feel about... Trump?"
Even a turtle realizes when something can threaten its existence.
Also, why doesn't most of McConnell just blow as dust in the wind yet? How do I get whatever he got instead of cremation? That guy is mummy old as heck.
Wasn't his hand necrotic at one point?
That happens because he missed a meal of children's blood. He is a deep state pedo vampire drinking children's blood as part of a pact with Satan. People are saying he smells like sulphur.
That's not the only withered piece of his anatomy. Allegedly.
Yes. His soul too.
McConnell is kept "alive" by the curse on the USA that came about when it was built on top of an Indian burial ground.
They'd just blame the Democrats anyway. Republicans thrive in dysfunction because they can convince their low info base that nothing bad is ever their fault.
he hasn't died or wandered off confused yet?
The dark magic keeping him running is still going strong
I'm not sure we could tell
Did he improve his connection bandwidth to the aliens for this one?
Or was he still waiting for multiple minutes before responding?
😂😆 LOL! Please guys I'm begging 🙏! Don't 😂😆 LOL! Don't shut the government! Don't! LOL... Oh fuck LOL 😅😆. Don't 😂. Psych! Shit it down now! Let the record show that it was me who said that too.... wouldn't want to republican this bitch real gud and not take ownersh...no, what's the word!? Department of education!
Shit it down!!
Best auto correct ever! LOL Republicans! Assemble! Shit it down! Shit it down now! Now before anyone could benefit from any of the poor services provided by the fed via our tax dollars.
Narrator : They shutdown
Did he say this before, during or after his most recent TIA?
The shutdown didn't effect me at all. Since Republicans are so about fuck you got mine... Do it bitches, shut it down. Do it you fucking cowards.
Or don't and look like idiots I didn't give a shit haha.
If Mitch is wagging his finger, you know it's staged. Because that fuck wouldn't back down from an insane powerplay when he was in the position.