this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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I’m new to the bidet scene, and this one has me slightly confounded. Should I install a new towel rack next to the toilet? Should my wife and I share the towel? Do you wipe first? There are so many unanswered questions in the ways of bidet-ing!

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[–] Buddahriffic 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I use 3 squares of TP, folded twice (into 4 layers). I never transitioned to a towel because the spray doesn't always get everything and the 3 squares are enough to dry it.

Trim your pubes back there and on your balls. It can make a big difference in how much water you can hold back there. I was using an extra two squares before my last trim.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

This is the information we need but wouldn't dare to ask.

[–] irotsoma 8 points 1 day ago

One piece of toilet paper. Just enough to get it mostly dry.

[–] Donebrach 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Spray with bidet then dry with toilet paper. Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?

[–] ameancow 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?

I feel like some people were never given actual hygiene instructions from their parents growing up. I can only imagine the way some people are so hung up on genitals and waste products that they can't even think about it, those kinds of people going on to have kids... do we really think they're going to pass on useful information on self-care?

And it's not like there's tons of social messaging and helpful guides all over the place on proper bathroom habits, it's purely a passed-down skillset.

Every time this comes up on reddit, there are a lot of people sharing stories about knowing men who literally don't wipe their own ass or touch it while showering and just constantly walk around with shit all over their ass. I used to think it was a meme, but then met people in real life who also had encounters with men who thought touching their own ass would "make them gay."

So yah, people getting anxious about using a bidet? That tracks. I think a lot of people are at very least, just anxious because they've never really been shown anything and might be doubting their own habits. Basically the bathroom and poop and related topics are just this mysterious realm that nobody talks about. Insecurity over our most intimate and private acts is a tradition as old as time itself.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (8 children)
  1. Because it's a funny haha bathroom post

  2. if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

  3. Actually I'm a lemmy user, I use Arch btw, live in my mom's basement, I've never been on a date and I never go outside. Of course I've never used water to bathe before.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (5 children)

if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

No. The purpose of the bidet is to properly clean your posterior which cannot be achieved with a toilet paper alone. Also the amount of toilet paper needed to dry is lower than the amount needed to 'clean'

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My response is always "if you get shit on your hand, do you just rub it with some paper and call it a day?" Usually people get it at that point.

[–] skeezix 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Who was the comedian who said that?

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[–] ameancow 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?

The purpose of a bidet isn't necessarily to make toilet paper unnecessary, it's to clean properly. Before getting a bidet I would just step into the shower and use the removable shower head to wash my ass with a little soap and warm water, towel off after, bam super clean. I still do that, but now the bidet can save a step if I'm in a hurry.

Basically, try this experiment. (Quoted from some comedian) Smear some poop on the back of your hand. Then wipe it with dry paper and nothing else. Do you feel clean? Ready to go through the day? Of course not! You want to actually wash that off, and that's the pleasant feeling from using a stream of water to feel thoroughly clean, not just removing residue but getting up in there into the outer wrinkles of the butthole, reduces the chance of getting the itchies later.

(This is particularly of consequence if there is ANY chance whatsoever of ending up naked with another person. You might not notice it, but other people would get hit with a musk the moment your underwear drops, and not the nice kind.)

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[–] Macaroni_ninja 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I invested in one of those super fancy "smart" toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.

I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.

Its the fanciest thing I own.

[–] TokenBoomer 3 points 1 day ago

I have one too, I’m on it now.

[–] KreekyBonez 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

what's on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?

[–] Macaroni_ninja 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The settings for different users + all the functions the remote has.

Nozzle position, water temperature, etc.

  • Some settings like when to open the seat/lid, when to

I never use the app it as its just a gimmick and the remote has dedicated buttons for everything, but in theory if I go to a place which has the same brand toilet it will set my butt profile automatically if I have the app on my phone with me.

[–] Subverb 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.

Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:

  • Start/Stop
  • Water temperature
  • Seat temperature
  • Water pressure
  • Angle of nozzle
  • Oscillator
  • Turbo mode
  • Air dryer
  • Deodorizer
  • Children's mode
  • Women's hygiene mode
  • Default run duration timer setting
  • Power save mode
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

But what I really want is for it to say "Arigato Daddy-sama (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)" after I shit in it

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[–] TokenBoomer 3 points 1 day ago

You can get one that dries with hot air.

[–] pura 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I bought a couple sets of washcloths that are only for drying butt. I fold them and lay them on the tank lid, and then put used ones in a little basket/bin beside the toilet. When I run out, I wash them in the laundry room. I haven't bought toilet paper in 5 years.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter 44 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm sleepy and read that as "Biden voters, how do you dry your ass afterward?" and was very confused. But like.. not as confused as I probably should have been.

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[–] set_secret 37 points 2 days ago

You dab with toilet paper, for the love of all thats good, do not share an ass drying towel with your wife unless you went her to get chronic utis.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My bidet does not shoot at my whole ass. It only laser focuses on certain parts, which I dry with toilet paper.

[–] bitchkat 2 points 1 day ago

Exactly and you can control where it goes by wiggling your ass.

[–] shortypants 66 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.

Actually though, just dab with TP. You'll use much less TP and not need "flushable" wipes that still clog your main sewage line

[–] surewhynotlem 9 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I know you're joking, but i think I'd enjoy a Dyson ass dryer.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Be sure to grab extra batteries and keep one on the charger. Trust me

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Basket of old t-shirts cut into washcloth sized squares. The used ones go in a basket beside the toilet to be washed with the rest of the laundry.

If we're out of rags I just use TP. But you only need a few squares to dry off so it ends up using a lot less paper than if you didn't use a bidet.

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen 156 points 3 days ago (48 children)

Bidet wash first. Then tp to dry and to, well there is no nice way of saying this, check how the bidet wash did its job. Used appropriately, you should use significantly less tp than before.

[–] wjrii 60 points 2 days ago (9 children)

For anyone with a sewer system built for TP, this is an ideal workflow. Poops and poopers are not identical, and bidets are not magical. Trust but verify, friends.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wipe - spray - wipe. Toilet paper is fine.

[–] SendMePhotos 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Am I doing it wrong? I just do spray - wipe.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I guess it depends on the consistency of your stool. Wouldn't want to blast brown soup all over, y'know.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

As a vulva owner, for me, the big win with the bidet isn't the butt.

Either way though, the goal is to get clean with water, instead of a dry piece of paper, and then use either toilet paper or a dedicated towel to dry down the now clean area.

Just like with a shower. You don't clean yourself with the towel. You get clean with water, and then dry with a towel

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Man, this post is pure gold.

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[–] bitchkat 2 points 1 day ago

a sheet of TP or drip dry.

[–] count_dongulus 57 points 2 days ago

I twerk a bit over the bowl.

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