this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2024
51 points (91.8% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27232 readers
3041 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Kind of a follow up from my question from a few days ago, for me just depresses me and usually I'm working or worried about stuff anyways so I don't know how to enjoy festivities, plus being eternally alone without a partner makes things even sadder. Xmas is more of a post it of how much my life has failed.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Syltti 2 points 8 hours ago

None of these holidays have any meaning.

[–] Fades 3 points 19 hours ago

Capitalist holiday preserved by corporate to sell shit

[–] LANIK2000 3 points 21 hours ago

I very much hate christmas. Having a specific day to give everyone something is stupid. We already have everything we want (that's not too expensive to be a gift), and even if there's something special, christmas ruins it by being expected. In my family we finally managed to drop the charade after grandma died. Sadly, gonna be celebrating christmas with my GF's family, and so far I've been unsuccessful in making them understand that I don't want shit from them.

Christmas is just a giant collection of obligations that leaves us all worse off. Like getting and advent calendar, everyone gets mad when I skip days, just because I don't care about Christmas. In my country we also have 3 days where all stores are closed for it. Great shit...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

christmas to me means moving on to become a better and happier person, spending time with family that visits town, realizing i still have time left to turn my life around. good feelings but also very nostalgic, thank you for the question!!!

[–] Yawweee877h444 1 points 16 hours ago

Time off work with holiday pay, If you're lucky.

Otherwise it's a capitalism thing to buy stuff to make companies money.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

No, I hate Christmas with a passion. Despite having pagan roots, the modern version is a BS Christo-capitalist holiday. All it does is remind me (and others like me) how much our families hate us and how much this country sucks. This year is especially bad, since we're a month out from a fascist takeover that threatens to genocide us.

Fake Christmas cheer is sickening

[–] Mickey7 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm not religious so it's just a cultural holiday. It used to be a time for family gatherings. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, etc. Most times I felt it was a pain in the ass. Now they are all dead and gone. In retrospect I wish I had taken more time to enjoy those family get togethers.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Thanks for sharing that. My family has been a bunch of loners as soon as the kids went their separate ways, but recently we're experimenting with getting together for the holidays.

It doesn't exactly come naturally to any of us, but I'm going to try to appreciate the moments while we have them.

[–] Kaiyoto 1 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

I used to has Xmas after becoming an adult because what it stood for, for me, was a bunch of shit : capitalism, using a fake demi god to discipline your kids, and a zombie demi god it's supposed to be dedicated to when we decorate trees which come from the religions that were stomped into hiding.

But I started to realize that winter fucking sucks. It's depressing as fuck. It made me realize that we need holidays in the winter to help us get through it. There is joy in company if you can look past minor shit and flaws of family, and if you can't then there is the company of friends. Holidays are a reminder that we thrive best in communities and it's a chance to reconnect.

So whether you decide to celebrate that gathering by decorating a plastic tree or by having a hedonistic feast or even an orgy, do something for the holidays that mean something to you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 23 hours ago

I don't really enjoy the holidays. It's too much stress, too many conflicting family obligations, too much effort dodging the religious aspects, too much forced cheer, and it all just makes me sad. Marginally I like putting up a tree, but after a couple of weeks I get tired of remembering to water it. I skip as much of the holidays as I can, and try to enjoy the small parts that don't annoy me.

[–] 2ugly2live 2 points 21 hours ago

No. My mom has always worked holidays, and so have I (once I was old enough). We would celebrate around it, but pulled back as I got older. I'm at a job that's just closed this holiday, and it's just a day off for me. 🤷🏿‍♀️

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Stress.

Stress about all the money spent on a midnight feast that we're too sleepy and tired to enjoy (our Christmas meal here is at 12mn, it cannot start earlier), the gifts and decorations, and the electricity of all the RGB lights strung around to make our family to be "with the community spirit". Stress about not having the energy to be able to smile and be cheerful all the time, or else you'd be the subject of dinner conversations, how you're not "making an effort to spread the holiday spirit". And worst of all, the stress of not being able to sleep and rest due to all the merrymaking, singing, and overall noisemaking (fireworks tend to be fired at random here, and increasing in frequency as it draws closer to the end of December).

I used to look forward to the food, the seasonal food, and the feasting. But now that I've got to prepare all that food, taste it, make adjustments based on who is going to be coming for the Christmas dinner, it's just draining.

What is supposed to be a season to be merry, to be hopeful, and all that good cheer, has become the very cause of all the sorry hopelessness and drear.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm sorry that sounds so overwhelming. Is there anyone you press into your service to help out? Also potluck is great for these things because then no one has to cook more than one thing.

My partner's parents just straight up said they're not hosting anymore because it's too much work. It's allowed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

There's my youngest brother, but he's already with his family, and is the one in charge of cooking over there. I'm with my mom, who is really needing the help, and so yeah! I also told my mom to just stop hosting because it's increasingly not worth it, but she's stubborn and told me it's always been this way, and will be that way until she draws her final breath.

Now, if I can only convince the others (the ones coming over) to just bring some food so that there's a lot less need to cook here.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I work in education. Christmas time is so much better with kids. It feels empty without some 9-y-o bouncing off the walls and telling you all the things he wants for Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do not measure your life by the holidays, any of them. No one is a failure because a holiday is not perfect. And being alone is not always a bad thing. Be thankful that you are not in a toxic or violent relationship. And single people are not losers. Every individual gets to decide how, when and if they participate in social rituals, and holidays are one of them. It's ok to hate them or love them. But it's never ok to make others, or yourself, feel bad for having and making your own choices about social rituals. I personally left holidays in the past many years ago. I'm done, I'm full thanks. And I won't feel bad because someone wants or expects me to participate. And I won't make others feel bad because they don't hold my views. We are all Human, and we all get to decide whats best for our self.

[–] Mickey7 1 points 1 day ago

***And I won’t make others feel bad because they don’t hold my views. We are all Human, and we all get to decide whats best for our self.


Refreshing comment. Totally agree. If you want to enjoy life never think that you have all the right answers and that you have to impose what you think on others

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I think as far as holidays go, it's pretty decent:

  • I get some work free time.
  • Its a distraction from the fact that there's no fucking daylight which makes me miserable,
  • I get some gifts and give some gifts. It's not about their material worth but it's cool that people actively try make someone else happy. We don't do that everyday.
  • There is a lot colorful lights. I love colorful lights.
  • I get a lot of time to hyperfixate on some kind of programming / linuxing computer stuff. Maybe gaming.

I feel like a lot negatives of Christmas don't affect me because: I don't watch TV or ads, don't go much to shops or any public places for that matter, I don't really use social media outside of Lemmy. Also, I don't have a big extended family.

[–] gnomesaiyan 16 points 1 day ago

Christmas is just commercialized Winter Solstice. Happy fucking holidays.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

I won't lie, usually Christmas is my favorite time of year. Something about the music, getting to see all my family, and trying to find inventive ways to make friends and family happy through gifts always cheers me up. Never really had the money to go all out, but the spirit was there.

This year I just do not care. Usually I listen to dozens of hours of Christmas music and this year it is less than 2 hours so far. I'm not looking forward to giving or receiving gifts; it just feels so formulaic and rabidly consumerist. My usual comfort movies hold no interest for me. I'd skip it if I could. And all of that was before my grandmother died this past Saturday.

[–] spankmonkey 13 points 1 day ago

It means that I will be harassed for not being happy enough and wrong for not wanting to participate.

[–] sfxrlz 7 points 1 day ago

Christmas Eve with my family and the following two days visiting other family are nice. The whole buildup though December always pisses me off.

[–] Takapapatapaka 10 points 1 day ago

Im surprised to see that many people disliking christmas, seems like 50/50 in the comments, i would have expected something like 30/70

I find it stressful, i dont like feeling judged about how i give and receive gifts, having to be nice around my extended family even when they are mean or boring, the elaborate cooking, etc.

Im much more comfortable with new year's night : no fixed traditions, usually with friends rather than family, overall simpler and just focused on being with people i like.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 22 hours ago

Divorced parents. A latter childhood of "equal time" over the holidays. Hoopla so forced and weird, it was a caricature of itself.

No, I really avoid a lot of the hoopla I Christmas and everything else. And I like quiet celebrations at home. My best Christmas was my first year H1Bing in Jersey and my gf came to visit all the way from home. No money, with her tuition and schooling so high, we sat around and watched TV and journeyed over the PATH to see the sights. It was magical (because she is).

[–] AngryCommieKender 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm a Baha'i, so I just celebrate Ayyam I Ha. It's at the end of Feb so I can take advantage of the after Christmas sales. The Ayyam I Ha Camel can apparently carry more loot than Santa's Sleigh

[–] wreckedcarzz 10 points 1 day ago

Nope. Just like valentines, fathers/mother's day, or any of the other "hallmark holidays". July 4th (US) too. And Thanksgiving, like ugh. "we stole land and murdered the people who were there, let's celebrate" is just vomit-worthy.

Birthdays aren't much for me but I make it a point to say hi when it's a friend's. "one year closer to death!", as me and a friend say.

I've not-jokingly told people to wait until Feb 15th/Dec 26th/etc if they are hell-bent on buying me something. Thrifty and affectionate? Be still my heart.

[–] subtext 12 points 1 day ago

It means seeing my grandma the one (maybe two) times a year that I see her. I probably don’t have too many more of them so I want to make them count. It’s also one of the few (getting fewer) times a year I see my parents who are also aging. I think it’s good for me to remember what’s important.

There may be something in your life that is important to you that you can try to hold on to at Christmas, like your health or your pets.

[–] Sterile_Technique 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's half materialism and half cult ritual.

Most of the music is annoying, with a strong exception to Transiberian Orchestra.

The seasonal junk food is usually pretty good. The seasonal food-food is just a wanna be Thanksgiving, but still good.

The lights can be pretty, but most of the other decorations look like cheesey tailor-trash shit.

I'd give it a 20-80 like to dislike ratio

[–] Womble 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Its so American to make your own-brand Christmas a month early then call Christmas food a knock off of that!

[–] Sterile_Technique 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't care which one is the knock off of the other, but rather which one is better. Thanksgiving wins the race when it comes to food.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

You're just eating Christmas food early though

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

No. Society has shown me that I mean nothing. I'm tired of trying be fit in with whatever this all is.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago
[–] RBWells 2 points 1 day ago

I don't like winter in general but Christmas is ok. I try not to put any demands on anyone, and only do what I can, but have worked at a place that closes for a week at Christmas, and that has made it a lot easier, getting an actual holiday for the holiday instead of scrambling to put it together.

You have not failed, you are alive, you are successful at living by definition. If someone at the holidays is making you feel unsuccessful, that's mean. If it's just you feeling it, though, they may not feel the same way. My kids LOVE unmarried aunts & uncles and I loved mine too. You are free to love them without responsibility, more like a friend and that is something kids can really use.

In the end, it's just a holiday - most of us aren't religious, it's a get together time, some presents, a meal. When my kids were up northish, they said winter really was depressing because of the lack of sunlight, they had not realized that was a real phenomenon and were startled by how it made them feel. So be aware you may be feeling worse than usual just because of that, not seeing clearly or objectively.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Stress.

But every now and then I get a little whiff of the magic dust that other people seem to love. Like watching my partner dress a tree while listening to Frank Sinatra.

I don't have any of the nostalgia for the effects, but I can put on a jovial kind of tolerance.

I'm building a new nostalgia, so that in a couple decades maybe I'll really feel it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Sure, it's how I get my nieces and nephews who live on the other side of the country to remember who I am. I'm a good gift giver.

[–] TK420 2 points 1 day ago

Fuck Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Growing up, I always dreaded holidays. I mean, sure the time off from school was great, that’s a given. But getting excited about Xmas just wasn’t my thing. Several years ago I finally realized why: The excitement is manufactured. It’s just an ever-increasing buildup frenzy of the holiday. Gotta do your shopping, and more shopping, and more shopping. Then you gotta cook and clean. Then go visit family that you really don’t care to see.

Finally, the big day! Open presents! Then…. Nothing. Just another day, except it’s more boring because your friends have to do stuff with their families.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad others get enjoyment out of it. Great for them. Just don’t expect me to to excited too.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

I take time off of work to spend with loved ones. It's great!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

To me it means a wave of seasonal content and not much else. I'll watch Christmas movies and shows but I don't have the space or time to go all out with Christmas just for me to enjoy

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It doesn't.

I'm really against the expected gift giving and the commercialisation of it all. I don't really want things so I'm not really keen on receiving gifts either, I honestly struggle to get excited about it.

I'm not keen on spending Christmas with my family because it's basically "back in the closet" day, and it makes me want to die. If it's Christmas without the grandparents it's a lot better. That said I've gotten out of most of it this year, just a lunch and then back home to Naarm to put on a community dinner which I am legitimately looking forward to.

I'm not religious either so it also literally has no meaning to me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I like the time off from work, but actual Xmas doesn't mean anything. I think it's cosy with Xmas decorations and Xmas trees through. I enjoy it in that way, but it has no spiritual meaning to me.

Also every single person seems to feel horrible and lonely around Xmas since it's so much pressure. Before I met my girl, I was always lonely on xmas too.

[–] passiveaggressivesonar 1 points 1 day ago

Sorry to hear, try doing something small and festive, like making egg nog every year as a tradition

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

A reason to have fun, just cuz

[–] PlantDadManGuy 3 points 1 day ago

Yes, Christmas means finding time to celebrate with friends. It means getting to know people better and giving gifts that they'll actually enjoy. It means baking cookies, burning a few and trying new recipes so you can surprise the neighbors. Christmas, like most of life, is exactly what you choose to make of it. If you hate your family, or Christmas carols or office parties or whatever, then fuck that noise and host a drunken gingerbread house building party with your boys.

[–] Lauchs 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think the holidays are like most things, for better or worse they mostly enhance whatever mindset you're in. (With exceptions etc)

Unhappy about life? Holidays probably not awesome in general.

Happy about it? Absolute blast.

That being said, if you want to work towards making things better, the holidays do offer a lot of opportunities!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That’s a nice sentiment on the surface, but it mellows into something slightly toxic.

[–] Lauchs 1 points 20 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Just an excuse for Turkey with fam

load more comments
view more: next ›