submitted 1 week ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 93 points 1 week ago

As the local "weird possum girl", they are very intelligent! They shouldn't be!

See, opossum have smooth brains. This isn't normally linked to a high intelligence. Yet, they can remember if a food is toxic for up to two weeks after ingesting it, can learn and remember how to operate different sliding locks, and can solve simple puzzles with the right motivation(food)!

They can also form bonds, remembering people they like and dislike. Which is kinda funny to think about, because their babies spend a period of time riding around on moms back before they're big enough to waddle off on their own. If one falls off, she may very well trundle off, leaving the little one behind, who may hitch a ride on a totally different jill that happens to walk by.

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago

goodness how i wish there was a weird possum girl in my locality

i would buy her lunch

not to eat with her as some creepy implied commitment to a date but because free food is an appropriate gift for opossum enthusiasts and I am just as happy for her to enjoy it without me if she so chooses.

(but to be fair i would prefer if she'd join me so i can listen to her talk about opossum facts)

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

I'd recommend something besides lunch for that, or at least have a strong stomach.

You'll eventually hit the gross facts, and the little guys can get gross. Still absolutely adorable scavengers who play a key part in the decay cycle, but gross.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

I’ve a strong stomach, and insatiable curiosity.

What kind of gross? Like rabbits eating their own first-pass poo?

(My RN mother used to watch graphic surgical shows during dinner so almost nothing really bothers me…. Except spelunkers getting stuck in caves. Holy fuck does that bother me and I’ll never be in a cave, so very illogical phobia)

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[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

Two weeks doesn't seem like all that long before forgetting that some food was toxic lol

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Tell that to lactose intolerant people who love cheese. -from the very same.

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[-] dogsnest 18 points 1 week ago

This gal possums.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago
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[-] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago

Oppossoms are better than merely smart. They eat HELLA PEST INSECTS!

now, Geese...

Geese are fiercely protective of their families and flocks and are amazing at guarding territory; they cannot be bribed or ingratiated. In brazil, a prison has provided a habitat for geese around the facility between the inner fence and the outer wall which has been surprisingly effective at discouraged escape attempts.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Can't be bribed? What if you could get a clutch of goose eggs to imprint on you? Then you'd be part of the family and invincible with your goose army! You could go goose-stepping across the continent!

[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Let's make a deal:

You go ahead and try to get close enough to a clutch of goose eggs that you can incubate them to hatching;

I'll point and laugh as their parents and all the other geese in the entire flock swarm you in a solid frenzied wall of honking, hissing, biting, bludgeoning, implacable white-hot incandescent fury.

You are proposing to fuck with a force of nature, my friend. I can't stop you. But they can. X3

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Since they're just outside your home, you make a hole in the wall and build a nest box inside it. Eggs get laid in there. When hatching day nears, you toss food over the wall to tempt mom off the nest for a minute. As soon as she steps away, you slam down a portcullis and take over childcare on your side of the wall. Later you and your goose tribe raise the portcullis and march forth together.

Of course, it could fail disastrously.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I know you posted jokingly, but I can’t help myself.

Geese lay their eggs in fairly open spots on the ground, typically near water (often barely out of the water in my experience), not really ever in nest boxes (I’ve never heard of them using a covered/enclosed space for nesting, and we have tons of them around here). They want a clear view of their surroundings, and ready access to water for their hatchlings. The females incubate and the males stay near to guard the nest, because they like to be exposed, and are mean as hell as a direct result of their nesting behavior.

You’d be better off just buying fertile eggs and incubating them wholly independently, but they likely wouldn’t be accepted into the wild flock if they aren’t hatched by one of the flock, even if they are initially incubated by one. I mean I’m not super sure if geese “adopt” other goslings, as they are mostly self-sufficient within a few days, but if they do I doubt they would be fully strangers like they would be if you swipe them.

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[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago

My favorite game is Untitled Goose Game.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Nothing comes close to making my children laugh as much as that game. I love when they play it.

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[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago

Actually owls are really stupid. Like surprisingly stupid

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 14 points 1 week ago
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[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago

Squirrels aren’t just good climbers, squirrels are professional circus performers who are constantly putting on free shows for everybody.

Squirrels are hilarious, they don’t get enough credit.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

My neighborhood squirrel hung upsidedown on our bird feeder holding the top with his feet while he ninja'd seeds out of the feeder. I was more impressed than anything.

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[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

Cobra Chicken. That is all.

[-] Cobrachicken 11 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago

Geese make a great defensive line.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

They're basically slightly idiotic guard dogs with an element of surprise.

[-] cynar 12 points 1 week ago

You can bribe a guard dog, you won't bribe a flock of geese. The owner will know you are there, and there WILL be blood!

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[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Very tasty and when cooked properly at the right time of year are more like a roast beef than poultry.

I've had it roasted whole over a fire, roasted like a turkey in the oven, boiled in stew, pan fried, split roasted over a fire, smoked, seasoned and preserved in salt, pork fat and goose fat. I grew up eating it with rice, potatoes, carrots and dumplings. I could drink the gravy like an energy drink. I used to sit with my mom every spring to roast dozens of gizzards and hearts while I helped her pluck, gut, prepare the birds for smoking and eating.

In the wilderness I'm not afraid of geese because i see them as food. In the city I'm afraid of geese because if I killed one to eat, I'd be arrested for some kind of law and sent to be evaluated for a mental disorder.

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[-] ThePantser 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Tbh that's not wrong

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[-] Beinion1011 19 points 1 week ago

You got a problem with Canadian Gooses then you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

What about crows? Crows are pretty cool

[-] edgemaster72 16 points 1 week ago

They'll remember that they were slighted in this post and make the Nebraska Humane Society pay for this insult

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

I found the best way to walk through a crowd of geese is to avoid eye contact at all costs. Pretend it's an empty field and you'll most likely be safe.

It's like an extreme sport but without the price tag. Although I would not walk through a crowd of geese if babies are present, no matter how cute, fluffy and snuggly they look.

[-] njm1314 16 points 1 week ago

No, deer are rats with hooves.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Rats are cute and intelligent.

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[-] buzz86us 14 points 1 week ago

Nobody thinks of the poor possum holding it down for marsupials in north America

[-] iAvicenna 13 points 1 week ago

Geese will kill you for looking at them funny

[-] FlyingSquid 12 points 1 week ago

Inside a goose's mouth.

That's all I have to say on the matter.

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[-] umbraroze 12 points 1 week ago

Turtles are SURPRISINGLY FAST and also have SHELL ACCESS so every Linux geek should appreciate them

[-] UmeU 12 points 1 week ago

Ravens make this gurgling throw up noise which is pretty cool

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
[-] LaunchesKayaks 8 points 1 week ago
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[-] RampantParanoia2365 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

My owl friend has returned to my neighborhood and I can hear him hooting at night. I've never met, interacted with, or seen this friend, but I love him all the same.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Geese are evil flying snakes. They'll even hiss at you.

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[-] ganksy 8 points 1 week ago

Geese are uh well...geese

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

We have geese here and basically come in during spring and literally take over. They are all over the beach, shit on every grass patch and generally have attitudes when you walk by. Some even posturing up like they are going to charge.

They are the assholes of the bird kingdom. They sit on roof tops and beak off from 4am to 7am, honking like a meteor is headed right for us.

They are unlovable!

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[-] ohwhatfollyisman 8 points 1 week ago

why is squirrel spelled like a professor from Hogwarts?

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

I think I had a username geese kicker somewhere .

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
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this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
1095 points (98.7% liked)

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