this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
315 points (93.9% liked)

Funny

7305 readers
1424 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] hakunawazo 68 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

It's a slow death for me, but a fast death for mankind.

[–] Beardsley 22 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Now I'm not some fancy science-man, but I do reckon that an impact of that magnitude would propel massive chunks of Earth debris in every direction at incredible speeds. Odds seem fairly well even that you'd get your own little impact death pretty well soon after.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The amount of energy it would take to punch a hole through the Earth would probably be enough to kill you from the moon.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] yesman 32 points 3 months ago (5 children)

"somebody is fucking with me"

The Earth is way too close, and I don't think a meteor strike on the earth, no matter how energetic, would look like a bullet going through an apple.

[–] Maalus 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You assume this is a meteor strike and not some type of planet killing weapon

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Klear 5 points 3 months ago

That's no moon.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] paddirn 26 points 3 months ago

Well… shit.

[–] hOrni 24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I'm Polish, so the same thing I say in any situation: "Kurwa".

[–] Daikusa 8 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Such a beautiful language.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Jericho_One 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But what about the stock market?

[–] Noodle07 6 points 3 months ago

To the moon

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Try to contact the ship that escaped. The one that was being built in silence under false pretenses by people who knew the planet was screwed, but convinced themselves it was better not to cause riots by informing everyone.

Small chance, but the billionaire investors might want to pick me up as a novelty story, or to make themselves feel like heroes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

"This is the SCP foundation, to all survivors give us five minutes."

Radio static for four and a half minutes

"Okay we are about to do a temporal shift to six minutes ago in a localized portion of space time, 05 council and the Foundation wish you luck."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Eh, both permanent space habitation as well as generation ships are so comically far out of our reach that any effort to escape would be doomed. All the billionaires would have accomplished is that they'd die slower. Unless we had decades of advanced warning and even then it would be a stretch. Additionally, in the latter case there's no need to keep it secret. The world is going to end in 50 years just wouldn't cause as much panic.

Secondly, if you look at the picture, the projectile directly pierces the earth. So it would have to be going extremely fast to accomplish this. So chances are we wouldn't see it coming to begin with.

Thirdly, this sort of direct hit implies intelligence. So, chances are whatever wants us dead would then follow through to ensure they get any survivors. Or not, as I pointed out earlier, all survivors are screwed either way.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

*the general and president walk down the underground corridor

Sir, it's time to reveal to you where all the real NASA money has been going for the past 60 years.

Wait is that-

Yes, alien tech recovered from Roswell.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (3 children)

That triangular dust cloud doesn't look right.

[–] TrickDacy 14 points 3 months ago

Yeah, all parts of this image are in an uncanny valley where you can understand how someone thought the image would read a certain way, but then also it doesn't actually read that way to me at all

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Brickhead92 16 points 3 months ago
[–] CitizenKong 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

That's not how planetary collisions work.

Earth's core is a solid ball of iron-nickel alloy as hot as the surface of the sun. Not even a huge asteroid could just go through it and come out the other side.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (4 children)

The ball on the bottom right, is the earth's core leaving.

BTW, the book Seveneves is worth a read/listen. It covers a scenario of something very very dense passing through the moon.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] meathorse 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Anticorp 13 points 3 months ago

The economy!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

silently take delight in knowing all my enemies are dead

I mean you've got to look for positives, right?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Do people have enemies? That seems exhausting.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Arch nemesis... only Arch users have those.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I’ll tip my Fedora to that.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] trolololol 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

From the looks of it the astronaut was just out of the lunar grocery store starting to walk home for some dinner and down time.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] unreachable 11 points 3 months ago
[–] pyre 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

shit, I didn't bring enough food

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Sarmyth 8 points 3 months ago

"Well I'm getting out of this uncomfortable suit!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

I think this is one situation where I'd be genuinely speechless.

[–] Professorozone 6 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Oh...

...

...

...fuck.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

One small uh-oh for a man, one giant extinction event for mankind.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] t_berium 5 points 3 months ago

'Guess no brunch this weekend.'

or

'Haha, missed!'

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Houston, we have a problem

[–] uebquauntbez 4 points 3 months ago
[–] LongboardingLad 4 points 3 months ago

Ahh, beans!

load more comments
view more: next ›