this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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It's not like there are people checking for immortals, I think it would be flagged by a dmv employee or something when they dont believe a clear 21 year old is actually 150. Let's assume it's current day im caught and not bring speculation on what the US is like in the year 2139 is like.

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[–] LesserAbe 154 points 2 months ago (3 children)

When your id says you're 100 and you look 21 it's going to cause issues.

You want to get away from ever needing an ID. The wealth you gain from compounding interest should allow you to hire accounting experts who will handle your transactions and hide your wealth among shell companies. I think once or twice you could go with the "this is my child, me Jr" routine, but eventually you need to have some kind of emissary who conducts business on your behalf while you cycle through fraudulent ids and move around every 20-30 years.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When your id says you're 100 and you look 21 it's going to cause issues.

You can use this to your advantage, by claiming it's some sort of annoying mixup and it happened before. You can use this to sneak new info into the system when they need your help correcting the obvious mistake that you're not 100 and get your dates reset.

[–] RegalPotoo 71 points 2 months ago (2 children)

.....

So awhile ago I worked on a system that moved education records between 2 different systems at a university. It kept choking on one particular record; turns out the date of birth was in 1499, and MSSQL won't store dates from before the start of the Gregorian calendar unless you specifically configure it to do so.

We sent a request through to have the record corrected - clearly someone has just typoed 1949 - and moved on, but maybe.....

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Just one question: on which keyboard are 4 and 9 close to each other to get typoed *X-Files music starts*

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It's not about close position in this case, it's that the idiot was typing quickly and hit the numbers in the wrong order. Also, a numpad was more likely used than the number row.

[–] jaybone 6 points 2 months ago

Or left hand hovering 1 and 4, right hand hovering in over 6 through 0.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

in the number industry we call it a transposition error and you can tell if the difference between the two is a multiple of 9.

[–] Bgugi 12 points 2 months ago

the number industry

All I can think of is a gruff, blue collar worker coming home, covered in oil stains. He hangs up his hardhat and lunch pail at the door. "You would not believe the day I had!" He says, "Some jackass put the 9 dies in the 6 press, and I had to spend all morning trying to pry open the hydraulics without fucking them up. After all that, I get a call that the serifs are too long on the ones and they're getting sorted as sevens!"

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[–] RegalPotoo 6 points 2 months ago

Transposition error

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It'd be cruel to the people around me, but I do rather like the idea of starting over every 30 years or so, your could try out so many different paths.

[–] bitwaba 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's a typing speed problem. The left hand hitting the 4 was too slow/the right hand jumped the gun on typing the first 9.

So, definitely aliens.

[–] TheRedSpade 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I love that you replied to the wrong comment -one which this makes no sense as a reply to- and got upvoted anyway.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 2 months ago (6 children)

If your goal is to avoid that, and you look 21 permanently a la Highlander, you probably want to get new one every thirty years or so, starting over as a "runaway teen" or "refugee" who lacks identity documents with a nominal age of fifteen.

Or just commit identity theft. That one you could probably do once a decade, or more; just keep a running file of unsolved disappearances of children and teens and pull another one out whenever the age more-or-less fits.

[–] partial_accumen 54 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Or just commit identity theft. That one you could probably do once a decade, or more; just keep a running file of unsolved disappearances of children and teens and pull another one out whenever the age more-or-less fits.

Continue having children throughout your immortality every 20 years or so. Make sure you have an child of the gender equal to your own, and on their 21st birthday, you switch identities with them. You sit for their picture on their newly issued ID on their 21st birthday, and suddenly its your picture that is the one of record for the legal 21 year old. Your child takes over you identity, grows old, and dies. Repeat ad infinitum.

[–] FuglyDuck 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Continue having children throughout your immortality every 20 years or so. Make sure you have an child of the gender equal to your own, and on their 21st birthday, you switch identities with them. You sit for their picture on their newly issued ID on their 21st birthday, and suddenly its your picture that is the one of record for the legal 21 year old. Your child takes over you identity, grows old, and dies. Repeat ad infinitum.

what happens when the child is immortal too?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] FuglyDuck 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don’t think that worked out so well for the titans,

[–] GraniteM 6 points 2 months ago

ONCE AND FOR ALL

[–] slazer2au 8 points 2 months ago

Child didn't have to survive birth. I think that is what happens in highlander, he finds dead children's names and takes them.

[–] thesporkeffect 6 points 2 months ago

It's like a ponzi scheme. You take their identity and now they have to start the process themselves

[–] jaybone 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Seems like you’ve given this some thought.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Some of us really liked Highlander

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

As someone who isn’t an immortal Highlander, this works.

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[–] acosmichippo 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

we’re already almost at the point where biometric tech will make all that irrelevant, especially facial recognition. to really fly under the radar in the future you’re gonna need to hack security systems and erase your data every so often.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Or remodel your face

[–] FuglyDuck 8 points 2 months ago

So, what I would likely do, is go to a country with somewhat easy-to-bribe officials, get a new identity made there; Then get a degree as an OBGYN and slip false names into their system.

you can then re immigrate to wherever, get a somewhat corrupt doctor to keep the "family" running so you get new identities that don't involve taking over actual people's identities.

depending on how careful you want to get, you'd have to then generate fake histories with residences, and eventually careers, but given the ability to compound inordinate wealth; it wouldn't be too hard.

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Oh, you must be thinking of my grandfather, we have the same birthday"

[–] AndrewZabar 24 points 2 months ago

And the same social security number. It’s a weird genetic thing ;-)

[–] JesusSon 68 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I was watching this real-life documentary called Highlander about this dude Connor McCloud of the Clan McCloud. He is immortal, but he has to sword-fight people because if he gets his head chopped off, he isn't immortal anymore. Anywho dude changes names every time someone gets too close. There was also a TV documentary by the same name about his cousin Duncan. Duncan is a bit more loose with it but they pack up and move around a lot. You should check it out, not Highlander 2, though; you can skip that one.

[–] lando55 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He is immortal; he has inside him blood of Kings; he has no rival (except when he does); no man can be his equal.

That song got me super amped (still does tbh)

[–] JesusSon 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I am not going to lie, the movies and the TV series were my jammalam for a whole minute. Princes of the Universe is a mainstay in my classic rock playlist.

Also, how can you not love a blind Frenchman playing an immortal Scottish swordsman trained by a Scottish man playing a Spaniard?

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[–] chiliedogg 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Highlander 2 is cocaine's masterwork.

Magical immortality? Fuck that - now they're aliens. And Connor is a scientist who saved the planet with a space shield. But the space shield isn't actually necessary. And killing another alien will make him young again. And Sean Connery can be revived by yelling his name. Oh, and he can make a ball of energy from his hands to hold up a fan blade, but it'll cost his life, I guess?

There can't have been a single sober person involved in that production.

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[–] NeoNachtwaechter 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

when they dont believe a clear 21 year old is actually 150.

This happens much sooner. You have any ticket, anywhere (bus, flight, stadium, speeding...) and sometimes they would check your face with your written age for plausibility.

[–] Valmond 7 points 2 months ago

Surgery nowadays is top notch eh!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The oldest person on record died at 122, and there's reason to think that there was fraud involved and she wasn't actually that old. By the time you were in your hundred-and-teens, you would have attention from scientists even if you looked your age. They wouldn't be forcing you to undergo medical testing if you didn't want to, but I think they would resort to force sometime in your hundred-and-twenties. If you didn't look your age, you'd have attention much sooner than that but people would think you stole someone's identity (that's what they think the 122-year-old person might have done) and not that you were immortal.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

FWIW, scientists who study supercentarians think Jeanne Calment was legit. She answered some extremely detailed historical questions about her village. She was either a walking Wikipedia about the area she grew up, or her claims were real.

That said, most supercentarian claims probably are bogus. They often come from areas that had bad recordkeeping a century ago, had their records offices bombed out during a war, or are generally well known for pension fraud. They're often very poor areas that tend to have a low life expectancy, and it's very strange that a real supercentarian would pop up there.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Btw there's a movie about that: The Age of Adaline.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I can recommend the movie "the man from earth" on the topic. I think he switches identities every 20 years or so...

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

There's a movie about this:

The Man From Earth

[–] AbouBenAdhem 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The circumstances where you’d be most likely to run into issues is where age plays an active role—e.g., Social Security or insurance. But those are probably avoidable if you’re careful. Otherwise, there’s no law against being really old or looking young, if you’re not trying to claim age benefits—for anyone else where the date of birth wasn’t relevant to their job, they’d probably just ignore it or assume it was a typo.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You won't be taken away for "study", you'll be taken away for pension fraud. Probably much earlier than 150.

Why would participating in studies be bad, though? Major pharmaceutical companies would pay you an absolute fortune in exchange for participation and you could advance medical science tremendously. You'd be a hero and get incredibly rich in the process.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think you're overestimating how generous a government or research group would be if they found someone they truly believed to be immortal.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why would an immortal decide to take a pension?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

If you're immortal in the sense that you don't age it would be dangerous to be outted. 8 billion jealous mortals would be an issue for you.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Thats an interesting one if u happen to have happened upon a path to immortality lmk with that power i can help you rule the world. Forever.

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[–] finitebanjo 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're looking at frequent IRS Audits and verification requests from Social Security and what not, but TBH if those people keep their mouths shut and you don't tell anybody you'll probably never get taken away in most developed nations.

The thing about it is you'd have a difficult time convincing anybody you're really that age, and the companies that are capable of studying you aren't actually competent.

You're more likely to just get deported somewhere at random.

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[–] j4k3 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It would be very easy. There are many places where money is all you need. Living in a shithole like the USA is the last place you want to be. Go anywhere you find Russian oligarchs or their kids. There are many micro nations that would gladly let anyone print any name they would like for a fee.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Calling the US a "shit hole" because it's hard to commit identity theft is odd.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, there isn’t even a need to move if you are American. Just start a religion based on your immortality, run for elected office, and then the whole system will be so confused that they’ll let you thrive as an immortal deity forever.

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[–] Maggoty 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

21? I hope you don't like going anywhere. You're going to get flagged either at 65 when someone tries to apply a senior discount in person or whenever they ask your date of birth for beer and you're supposed to be on the back end of 40.

If you allow yourself to age to that timeless look you can probably get to 75 before anyone even gets suspicious.

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