this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
779 points (95.4% liked)

Canada

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[โ€“] [email protected] 122 points 2 months ago (7 children)
[โ€“] _stranger_ 33 points 2 months ago

TEXAS IS TITS!!

TEXTITS!

TITSAS!!!!

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hnnng... Blow your load in me daddy; give me that good-good healthcare batter. Nnnnnnhh~

[โ€“] PlasticExistence 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Uh, Canada? You could at least buy us dinner first.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Maybe I'm getting carried away with the phalluses but it looks like Canada might also be enjoying a James Bay-shaped buttplug. Nice.

[โ€“] MataVatnik 5 points 2 months ago

I wish I had a Canada in my life

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[โ€“] Sterile_Technique 60 points 2 months ago (5 children)

So it's blurred, but I definitely see the matching hue of Florida and Canada, which I'm interpreting as meaning the two are one in the same. I'm cool with being Canada's shorts if y'all are willing take that shit show off of our shoulders!

[โ€“] disguy_ovahea 46 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Florida is absolutely North Americaโ€™s penis.

[โ€“] Awkwardly_Frank 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I enjoyed living in Florida, and I'm moving back, but I can confirm that they are both visually,and societaly, North America's dong.

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

florida's a miserable oozing pustule on the cock of the earth. no seasons, no landscape, only assholes, mosquitos, asshole mosquitos, and tourists going to either disney or one of the shitty florida beaches with no waves, only red tide and scientologists. and enjoy the 95+ heat when a hurricane knocks your power out for 3 days.

and despite being completely flat with nothing but the most boring straight roads anywhere, nobody knows how the fuck to drive. seriously wtf

fuck florida. there's no amount of money anyone could pay me to live there again

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[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Why would you move to Florida?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (5 children)

While Sweden is Europe's. But don't worry, size is not all that matters.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Speaking as an American, Iโ€™d like to say that any other American who gets sincerely mad at this deserves to be messed with. Itโ€™s funny. Get over yourself.

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm mad that Fl*rida is hanging out of the shorts. ๐Ÿคฎ

Cover that shit up.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Tell me that you wouldnโ€™t think Floridians would do that

[โ€“] TrickDacy 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Unite as one humongous cock? That's what they do all day every day.

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[โ€“] primrosepathspeedrun 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

no but there are canadians I want to fuck and some of them have dicks and I have to imagine this now. I have to imagine touching florida. this is Not Okay.

[โ€“] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I mean, this implies that Canada is a hapless idiot who walks around with its cock out, so this feels more like a dunk on the canucks

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The biggest thing it implied to me is that Florida is part of Canada. You can have em!

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[โ€“] roguetrick 10 points 2 months ago

You ever been to Dartmouth?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hey, as gently as this can be: maybe it's time to change your shorts, Canada. They appear to be full of shit.

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[โ€“] MrJameGumb 27 points 2 months ago (10 children)
[โ€“] Nouveau_Burnswick 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Nope, America is the pants and Alaska is the hat.

America is Canada's pants AND hat.

[โ€“] grue 20 points 2 months ago
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[โ€“] someguy3 5 points 2 months ago

Make Canada hat again.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure theyโ€™re plenty mad amongst themselves as it is.

[โ€“] Sterile_Technique 15 points 2 months ago

In our defense:

*gestures at the general state of our country*

[โ€“] Resol 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Of course Florida is the wiggly jiggly bit.

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[โ€“] WoahWoah 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

90% of the population of Canada lives within about 100 miles of the United States border. Canada being America's hat makes moree sense in that respect.

But Florida is clearly a cock, so... I'm into it.

Incidentally, 100 miles north-to-south is about the height of Connecticut from the Mass to NY borders.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

If big mad means "leaves 'em grinnin'" then mission accomplished.

Thanks!

[โ€“] saltesc 11 points 2 months ago

I like how Alaskans refer to the rest of the US as the southern states.

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I like the sentiment, though it would be even better if Canada was facing backwards and Florida was a dangling turd instead of a dangling penis.

[โ€“] problematicPanther 10 points 2 months ago

I've always referred to florida as America's wang, but it's clearly Canada's

[โ€“] Etterra 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

American here, you forgot that Texas is a big poopy diaper. Otherwise no notes. ๐Ÿ‘

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[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago
[โ€“] cabron_offsets 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Bruh. We Americans know Florida is just our wang.

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[โ€“] TootSweet 7 points 2 months ago

I'll allow it.

(That's a joke. I'll encourage it, in fact.)

Credentials: am American.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Haha that's great, but you have some sort of VD going on on your cock, mate.

Please see a doctor

[โ€“] wieson 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Shorts with a hoodie attached (Alaska)

Someone get this info to Milano or Paris

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[โ€“] roguetrick 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Canada's got that Hank Hill ass with California.

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[โ€“] TropicalDingdong 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Europe staring across the pond:

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[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Canada looks like blood exploding out of pants

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Canada is embarrassingly drunk, as usual.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

American here: This shit is funny.

[โ€“] MataVatnik 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So now I can explain to foreigners that its technically Canada fucking the rest of the world with their Florida penis. Excellent.

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