this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 110 points 5 months ago (5 children)

The Washington Redskins finally changed their name, and all my conservative relatives were like "What a bunch of ridiculous woke bullshit!" Really, guys? You don't understand why that might not be the best name?

[–] [email protected] 140 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ask them if they like this one better, when they say no, act ignorant and ask them to explain why, then sit back and watch them squirm

thinskins maskot

[–] Wilzax 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I do like that one better actually, I wish they would use this one instead.

I'm a delicate little white boy with glass bones and paper skin and I want to be represented offensively by the media too!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Not being discriminated against is discriminating!

[–] Wilzax 3 points 5 months ago

A-men, brother

[–] SupraMario 53 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was voting for Washington crackers...to bad that didn't get chosen... I'm sure that'd have been great for your conservative relatives.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

We could have some fun with this.

The Atlanta Confederates: Whites-only team, but by league rule they lose every game they play. It's a matter of pride in their heritage.

The Boston Puritans: No alcohol or swearing allowed in the ballpark, all games must end before dark, and they never play on Sundays.

The San Francisco Ferries (already done in the movie Baseketball).

The New Jersey Hitmen: The team's mascot embodies all the worst Italian-American stereotypes you can imagine.

The Florida Men: The most, uh, interesting mascot in the league. Maybe don't take your kids to the game.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

The Florida Men: The most, uh, interesting mascot in the league. Maybe don’t take your kids to the game.

Honestly, I find baseball to be boring however when your mascot is Florida Man. I would turn out to watch that.

"For this game, our mascot is a meth addled man who was recently arrested for fighting an gator in Target."

"For the next game, the mascot will be a woman who was found drunk, half-naked shooting ping pongs ball out of their vagina outside of a Chuck-E-Cheese."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

The Boston Puritans

I would love to see this. I wonder which Irish mom they're gonna have to tell Mikey to stop swearing at Fenway.

[–] ZILtoid1991 2 points 5 months ago

The Florida Men: famous for all their players committing bizarre crimes.

[–] grue 2 points 5 months ago

The Atlanta Confederates: Whites-only team, but by league rule they lose every game they play. It’s a matter of pride in their heritage.

Rename the Washington Generals to it.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago

Yeah but one native American dude said it didn't bother him so now they have a justification for using the ~~n-word~~ derogatory term towards native Americans.

[–] Theharpyeagle 17 points 5 months ago

It's bullshit too because now they're named after the bridge guardians which look awesome. Driving past them always makes me feel like I'm being tested by those statues in the Neverending Story.

[–] evidences 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

After the the Indians changed their name to the Guardians my dad told me if a team has accepted public funds it should be illegal for a sports team to change their name without public approval.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Geez, by that logic there should be a public vote on all roster changes, too.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 5 months ago (7 children)

I feel underrepresented, why don't white dudes have an offensive caricature/stereotype? =(

[–] [email protected] 96 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] lessthanluigi 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You know you had to do it to 'em

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago

Do what, exactly? That's a source of pride, not shame.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641 8 points 5 months ago

We got one!

[–] [email protected] 56 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Because "white" is a category of exclusion, defined by being not not-white. It is vague and historically flexible - it may or may not include Italians, Spaniards, Irish, Greeks or Poles depending on who you ask and where & when you happen to be at the time of asking.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Amusingly, quite a lot of people still excuse Armenians and Azerbaijani people, despite them literally living in the Caucasusn and being the definition of Caucasian

[–] nifty 10 points 5 months ago

Also may not include Latin Americans, Slavs or mixed race people

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Russians and Germans historically tend to exclude each ofher.

I started using non-whites as a broad category of every race / ethnicity that is excluded by the US mainstream, specifically the transnational white power movement.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

While technically correct, saying it's a category of exclusion kind of makes it sound negative, when it's exclusive quality is basically defined by privilege. Whether Italians, Spaniards, Irish, Greeks, or Poles counts basically entirely depends on how normalized and privileged they are in any given greater subsect.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

That makes a lot of sense! I've wondered why sometimes white just feels like a non-race

[–] Stovetop 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Depends on your traditional definition of "white" but Notre Dame has the "Fighting Irish" as mentioned by @[email protected]

[–] Zoomboingding 15 points 5 months ago

Except this is a source of pride for the Irish. It was first coined for the Irish immigrant soldiers who fought for the Union during the Civil War in what became called the Irish Brigade.

[–] Melvin_Ferd 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Ooh, this is a pretty good one

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

There's that picture of an American Indian man wearing a "Caucasians" shirt floating around the internet, and every time I see it I can't help but laugh. Edit yeah someone has already posted it in this thread.

Also, do the Minnesota Vikings count?

[–] grue 6 points 5 months ago
[–] NoSpiritAnimal 26 points 5 months ago

Some choice lyrics from "If you own the Washington Redskins you're a cock" by Atom and His Package:

And you'll go "Wah wah wah, you're so PC" And I will say "Wait" Remind me again how it came to be That being "the stupid American" is a desirable trait

Wouldn't it be offensive if we cheered: "Rah rah rah" for the Carolina Negroes With a beatbox cheer and big foam afros? Or if the Minnesota Vikings became the New York Kikes With dollar bills on their helmets cause that's what they like You know?

"Atom, what about the Saints, Angels, Padres too? Ain't that the same thing for Christians that's offending you?"

When there's a Jesus Christ mascot dog shooting crucifixes Nailed to a cross, dying to save the team You'll be right, you'll be right But until then You're. Not. Right

[–] Dorkyd68 23 points 5 months ago

New Mexico Mexicans

[–] Got_Bent 23 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Should've gone with Washington Senators and Cleveland Spiders. Commanders and Guardians are just never going to appeal to me.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Cleveland Spiders shouting out the worst team in MLB history, I like it.

[–] Got_Bent 6 points 5 months ago

They were overall pretty good until the owners fucked them over. Not unlike the A's today.

[–] VonCesaw 9 points 5 months ago

Aren't the Cleveland Guardians named after the Cleveland Guardians

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I really wanted Cleveland to be the Rockers, but that didn’t happen. They could have had Charlie Sheen as their mascot.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They already have the Clash City Rockers

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Cleveland does? Which sport?

They should also just pick one name for the teams, so people could reuse their schwag.

Everything in Cleveland is the Browns.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Sorry I meant "Clash City Rockers" already exists - it's a song. I'm not sure if any sports teams have the same name

[–] Viking_Hippie 4 points 5 months ago

I agree that Commanders and Guardians aren't good names, but Senators and Spiders are comically bad 😄

You want endless corruption scandals from pure nominative determinism and fans with a common phobia having a fear response to the name? Because that's how you get ants! 😉

[–] psmgx 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm half Asian and would totally wear the SF Chinamen

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The mascot could do kung-fu and that would be pretty badass.

[–] grue 6 points 5 months ago

The mascot:

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

fighting irish

[–] samus12345 10 points 5 months ago