this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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[–] grue 106 points 5 months ago

It's actually 10 hours of quarter-assed energy, because it only speeds up your metabolism half as much.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The correct answer is that it gives you 3.5 hours at 70% of the energy boost.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

pick a side you spineless fencesitter

[–] ByteJunk 5 points 5 months ago

It's this one here, Jedi sir.

[–] CluckN 56 points 5 months ago (4 children)

So quirky! Did they pull out their sp0rks and duel???

[–] fjordbasa 22 points 5 months ago

Oh no, it’s t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

We are so quirky, even the people in the improve show thought we were soooo random. Some people said we should be on stage because of how random and quirky our conversations are.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

I too find others being happy so offensive I must mock them to make myself feel better

[–] Cosmos7349 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is a spork a spoon with an added fork, or is it a fork with an added spoon?

[–] neatchee 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Spoon with fork properties. A fork with spoon properties would require adding material back in, whereas the former is just removing a bit of material to create the prongs.

[–] grue 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

now I really want a foon

[–] neatchee 48 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

Caffeine has a half-life in the human body of approximately 4-6 hours. So this means that the "5 hours" in 5hr Energy is just the amount of time it takes for your body to process half the caffeine away.

Therefore drinking half of a 5hr Energy would be 0 hours of the advertised level of energy. At best it would be like drinking a 5hr Energy and then immediately fast-forwarding 5 hours

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So 5 hours of half-assed energy

[–] neatchee 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Not even. I can't speak for others but the effects of 5hr Energy pretty much disappear after those 5 hours are up. Half the caffeine dose isn't enough to do much of anything, at least for me. So it's essentially a waste. I'm sure it depends on things like BMI but to get 5hrs of half-assed energy you'd need to consume 3/4ths of a dose, which would leave you with roughly half the experience of a 5hr Energy (that is, half the difference between the caffeine in your system immediately after drinking one dose and 5hrs after drinking one)

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

It took me until your comment to realise I had skimmed over the word "half" in the OP. Now this whole thing makes sense.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I’ve never taken a 5hr energy. Are they really just caffeine shots?

[–] dejected_warp_core 15 points 5 months ago

Kinda. From the CVS website:

Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Vitamin B3 (Niacin), Citicoline, Tyrosine, Phenylalanine, Taurine, Malic Acid, Glucuronolactone, Caffeine. Other Ingredients: Purified Water; Natural and Artificial Flavors; Sucralose; Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Benzoate and EDTA.

So, Caffeine for sure. But the b-complex, and Taurine will also give you a boost, for entirely different reasons. Half this stuff is psuedo-scientific at best, and the rest just filler.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (10 children)

How else can you pronounce egg?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My Midwestern ex wife pronounced it "aig"

A long "a" sound. I'm a Southerner so for me it's egg. With a eh sound.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Ohh yeah, I have heard "aig" before. I didn't even think of that as a different pronounciation, just an accent.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I mean... That's the same thing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Of course. But my mind categorizes them separately... As in, in two speakers with the same accent can have two different "pronounciations" of a word. And likewise, one "pronounciation" can sound differently coming from two different accents.

[–] negativenull 16 points 5 months ago

The 'G's are pronounced like the G in GIF

[–] Agent641 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Blum0108 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Klear 14 points 5 months ago

A total egglord.

[–] WereCat 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

No. The second G is silent. What's wrong with you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In New Zealand, it’s pronounced “ig”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You know you're pronouncing egg wrong when you have to spell it some other way.

[–] nyctre 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You mean like 'edinbara' or 'middlesbra'? Or asthma where the 'th' might as well not even be there? Queue? Is it weird or is it wierd? Worstersher sauce? English is full of those, c'mon :p everything is pronounced wrong.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Yeah but Azma looks weird

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

You could say "eygg" or "uurggs". So many options.

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[–] olafurp 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If anyone is looking for the real answer then the half life of caffeine is 6 hours.

The almost correct answer in half-assed energy for 6 hours

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

Since caffeine drops exponentially, it would last somewhere between 2.5 and 5 hours and would be half as strong.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The only time I took one of those during a night road trip it have me a really big boost for about an hour and then about 3 hours of half assed energy. It wasn't fun

[–] g0d0fm15ch13f 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Similar story here, my youngest just graduated college. And apparently my family sat in front of one of his neighbors who I met later at the a house party. And he goes "I'm pretty sure I sat behind you at the ceremony. I sat down and the first thing I heard was 'god bless those Australians, they took one look at a whole onion and said 'I bet you we can fry that and Americans will eat it''"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Outback is American. ☹️

[–] g0d0fm15ch13f 2 points 5 months ago

Don't do this to me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I’m jealous of both of them individually.

[–] Stern 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] fauxerious 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

apparently you’ve never heard of aeg

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I think I have an oven from them

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