this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
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Lemmy Be Wholesome

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[–] [email protected] 149 points 3 months ago (5 children)

How many leeches are this guy's breeches?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

My first thought as well…

[–] seth 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I've only ever gotten one leech from wading; the times I've had the most leeches (about half a dozen usually) were just from walking on forest trails on misty/foggy/light rain days, and tall grass trails right beside the forest edge. In a steady drizzle if you look closely you see them posted up on trails stretching their little proboscides up and flop around like a slow version of those inflatable airdancers used to advertise car dealerships and those seasonal tax prep or title loan businesses that pop up in old run-down filling station buildings.

That's how I learned to tuck my hiking pants into my socks, and also to never wear shorts.

[–] BreadOven 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Once I was in some rock pool, wearing some old converse with holes in them because of the rocks.

I must have stepped in a nest or something, because when I took the shoes off I had like 50 tiny (like rice-sized) leeches on one of my feet.

Thankfully they came off easily.

[–] seth 11 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Good to catch them early! Once they were half engorged I couldn't get a grip on them and my hiking pals and I were trying to get them off by touching them with a hot lighter (like with ticks) and it wasn't working. An old lady walking the other direction giggled as she was passing us and came up and showed me the quick way to get them off - just push your thumb nail-down against your skin and slide against their mouth end and they just kind of release and fall off. When they're stuck on also with their back suckers you just do it to that end too. Thin trails of blood seepage for like half an hour before it clots up, no pain whatsoever. After a few bites I wasn't afraid of them anymore.

[–] kofe 4 points 3 months ago

I..am both horrified and grateful for your story.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

stretching their little proboscides up and flop around like a slow version of those inflatable airdancers used to advertise car dealerships

Thank you for this vivid description. Yet another reason for me to tuck my pants into my socks.

[–] seth 3 points 3 months ago

With the added benefit of looking mega fashionable!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

After tucking in your pants, wrap some duct tape around your ankle sticky side out. Stop them ticks also

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[–] agent_flounder 15 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It reminds me of that nudist post with the tick on a laptop in the frame underneath, except it needs to be a leech.

Edit: @[email protected], @[email protected] Unfortunately, I can't post it because it's arguably NSFW.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have not seen this image and would like to

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[–] pigup 140 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (3 children)
[–] SirSamuel 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Klear 5 points 3 months ago
[–] BreadOven 9 points 3 months ago

The Lusty Argonian Maid?

[–] whotookkarl 3 points 3 months ago

The hist is leading folks back to the swamp

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

and a blood-sucking leech

[–] ekZepp 72 points 3 months ago

[swamp-thing likes this photo] 👍

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Swamps are great. But not an ideal environment for humans.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Hahaha this. Swamps are so full of weird slimy and flying life. They are great, really great. But not for living in it XD

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 months ago (2 children)

So he is saying that getting drops of swamp water up your butt is totally safe? Or does he have a sphincter with an IP6 rating?

[–] Etterra 12 points 3 months ago

He's probably got an amoeba living in him somewhere important. But hey, he's old, he don't give a fuck.

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[–] P34C0CK 38 points 3 months ago (3 children)

This river can kill you 1,000 ways.

l can handle it. The only thing I'm afraid of is the candiru acu.

It's a tiny little catfish. It swims up into your urethra, spreads its little spines, and refuses to budge.

You have to cut it out.

That's it I'm going back to L.A.!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

it makes you feel better, the fish has only been documented doing this once in 1997, and it could have been a hoax

Originally I thought the fish only went up there if you peed in the water, but that too seems questionable...

But it does seem to like swimming up women's hooha's. Just don't be a woman and you'll be fine!

[–] Viking_Hippie 5 points 3 months ago

Just don't be a woman and you'll be fine!

Handy tip in general, that! 😛

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

the candiru acu is actually the common name for cetopsis candiru

the fish that swims up where it shouldn't is the vandellia cirrhosa

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

Yeah, I’d be more worried about the brain eating amoebas in the warm stagnant water.

Maybe it’s safe if you keep your head out of the water and your fingers out of your nose. Dunno.

[–] Smoogs 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Let’s hope he’s wearing a cork or a condom

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Hi me but with more S

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Here is his photo gallery. On his home page you can book a swamp adventure with him!

https://clydebutcher.com/photographs/

[–] ClockworkOtter 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oof! Way out of my price range!

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Are you in Florida?

I’ll take you on a tour for $5 a head.

[–] RealFknNito 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

First, what's in a username holy shit.

Second, that sounds like a trip I'd have to sign a waiver for and everyone involved would be a different person by the end.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No waivers.

No paper trail.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a desert dweller, this photo feels like a space of unknown wet horror. Glad he is happy but hard pass here.

[–] agent_flounder 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a lifetime resident of the arid Western United States, I am also gonna nope on outta that damp hell.

[–] Confused_Emus 4 points 3 months ago

As someone who has lived in Louisiana, hell naw!

[–] gofsckyourself 23 points 3 months ago

"Swamps are great!" Says man that has the privilege of not getting horrific reactions to the thousands of bug bites.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Said Clyde BUTCHER

Sorry, couldn't resist. Swamps can be great indeed!

[–] RatBin 13 points 3 months ago

wetlands are some of the best place to be if you don't mind the mud and the water. You get to see snakes, frogs, all that thrives in the water, insects, plants that never run out of water with these turgid leaves and flowers.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

When was the last time anyone saw or heard from him?

[–] cosmicrookie 9 points 3 months ago

We need this guy over at pixelfed!

[–] Bytemeister 6 points 3 months ago

Yeah, swamps are great. I spent a week in a burning, alligator-infested swamp, and it beats the hell out of being around other people.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've always love swamps. They've got that Kurast vibe.

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[–] Sam_Bass 4 points 2 months ago

His gator faith is awe inspiring

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Clyde Butcher is a thing of beauty.

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