Smoogs

It’s just as much not a problem for them to be offended by it as it is for you to choose your words better. Knowing that you made a choice to offend so yeah, you’re the jerk. You’re honestly making a lot more of it if you went all this distance to think you’re the one hard done by just cuz you refuse to memorize some words. That’s snowflake thinking.

Only bad actors looking for the drama go for the path of most resistance.

Not from what I experienced unless… oh, right… millennials …mmmmyea. Throw it out. Something happened with music around then.

That’s the thing though: if you’re having trouble finding someone who wants to listen to you, the problem might possibly be you. let’s just say it’s not out of the realm of possibility. But if you are happy to sit there refusing therapy with circular logic: you’re your own problem and all this is is you’ve found a way to self sustain that cover and you’ve convinced yourself. Fair enough. That’s your decision,

therapy is really for those who are ready to admit they are unhappy with how things are(and willing to realize they play a part in their unhappiness) and more open to tearing down those old toxic behaviours to build something more engaging that might do better at relationships .

If you don’t see yourself in that description, then you’re right. Therapy would do nothing for you.

-plenty of men out there do planning

-going along with someone is not a lack of socializing it can be their way of supporting.

-In fact it’s probably better that a dude doesn’t take over on a woman doing it because that has been taught to be all sorts of sexist now. I know if it were me in the middle of organizing and some dude took over I’d be all sorts of pissed off.

-There is social aspect in video games too. In fact there is a large amount of social presence online. You also have wallflowers online but just saying, if someone is looking at their screen it doesn’t necessarily mean they are incapable of social ability. there's actually a skill in online presence.

As is echoed a lot in this entire post of replies: therapy isn’t really mentioned here. And that might be a key when it comes to male mental and emotional health.

Interesting how you brought incels up here and how you think they are created from the apps.

There’s a huge portion of users that reach for such an app that may think ‘intimate relationships =happiness’ that require therapy to address why they are unhappy (and how they do relationships) before they should try a relationship (regardless of app).

While I don’t believe the apps are necessarily what is causing this problem (any user decides on their own whether they are ready to date regardless of mental and emotional capability prior to joining) It certainly doesn’t help the situation but makes the compound result much faster. EG: I’ve seen the ‘ghosting’ definition change a lot once dating apps came into play. It used to be when you have a legitimate relationship developed and one person nopes out of it without warning. It had a legitimate victim that’s left out of the cold when another person essentially wasted their time and had a very hefty amount of inconsideration. Now it’s used in a situation if a dude gave someone the jeeb vibes on first meet and got immediately blocked after the one date or even before it makes it to that point and then calls it ghosting. And before we go the route of “well how would he know if no one tells him his behaviour is weird” : dating isn’t a survey. victims of the creepy behaviour aren’t therapists and it’s not their job. They are just on there to date too. They just want to feel safe. Their job at most is themselves. It’s not to curate someone else to become dateable. Lots of unsafe topics about the dating apps on documentaries around so people aren’t going to take it on themselves to provide feedback such as “what you said was inappropriate” without that going sideways with aggression and feeling even more unsafe.

If this is actually feeling like it’s happening a lot, I’d say: close the dating app, find a therapist, talk about why you’re feeling lonely as the problem might be more local than it what is going on the dating app. Cuz the one person whose job it is to give feedback on how you’re doing especially in situations of a relationship with others is a therapist.

It’s like you say: the apps are there to make money. They aren’t there with legitimate concern for their users whether or not they are ready for going into the dating pool. But that said: it really isn’t on the dating apps to do all that either, that is a question the user should be taking on themselves before joining the app and expecting all the results. Sometimes it is on the user.

This might be regional too. 3rd places in some cities are promoted as a social norm compared to others. More of a ‘night life’ where as some cities is like you have nothing much to do but go out in nature. I think those areas are a heavier struggle than others when it comes to socializing

Why are they so close to each other? And why in that position exactly? And other questions !

PSA To everybody else: that last sentence is a trap. Said famously before they yell “COMMUNIST” in your face should you suggest any working solutions currently in play anywhere else. Don’t fall for it. Just move on with a sense of relief you avoided the poop on the sidewalk today.

Yeah depending on where you are or how close you are to the US, the media really has an ability to centrist all stories and news as if it’s pertaining to America some how.

Ftr Incels exist in Australia and they have a red light district.

Incels don’t want to pay for sex.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it should be legal too if for no other reason that it makes it safer for the sex workers.

But just manage your expectations of what sexual deviants expect as Sex work doesn’t put an end to that part of the equation. Buying sex is still available even if illegal and you’re still going to have sexual deviants,psychopaths and incels. For Those groups in particular it is less about sex and more about power (and often hatred for women) hence the toxic energy they bring into sex.

Another issue for some deviants is sex workers carry a degree of consent. And shitheads like that aren’t looking for consent.

incels may not be seeking for paid sex as much as they want more power top relationship towards women(or feel entitled to) but they are unwilling to work on their personality. So their problem stems not from sex but more from their personality and feeling unloved with the sex they feel entitled to combined into that.

You don’t bring that kind of hate energy for an entire gender just over being horny.