this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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On Friday, New York Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch told media that authorities now believe the suspect accused of shooting and killing UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson is no longer in New York City, and promptly fled on a bus after the murder.

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[–] Sludgehammer 251 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Man what a responsible individual. E-bike rentals, mass transit, killing parasitic CEO's, this guy seems to be fairly eco-friendly.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 week ago (4 children)

He didn't compost the body though. 😔

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 week ago

He did the best he could with the constraints he had.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He can't do everything. We all must pitch in to help eat the elephant.

[–] FenrirIII 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What would happen if we all went tinkle on his grave? Would that help composting?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Only one way to find out.

[–] Tangent5280 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Not really, I don't think urine is a very microbe friendly environment.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's a misconception. Typical healthy urine has microbe flora, most of which are helpful.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6605016/

[–] Tangent5280 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Are you also not supposed to urinate on jellyfish stings then?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Well you can if you want. It just won't help the sting.

[–] FenrirIII 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Then why am I washing my hands after I go pee?

[–] Tangent5280 1 points 5 days ago

Because you touched your wee wee

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago

I think we can forgive such a minor transgression.

[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 week ago

I heard they're hiding out in a billionaire's house. The police better raid and thoroughly search all of those.

[–] RangerJosie 87 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Good. I hope he's since gotten on a plane and is chilling on a beach in a non-extradition country right now.

The Adjuster. True American Hero.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He's probably sailing so his carbon footprint stays low.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Sailing would keep his emissions low but a sailboat has a giant footprint

[–] chonglibloodsport 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Unless he made the sailboat himself out of recycled materials!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Shipwrights hate this one neat trick!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Compared to a jumbo jet?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] betterdeadthanreddit 73 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That's not what I heard, pretty sure he's still in NYC.

Unless he is, in which case he definitely fled the country.

[–] taiyang 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's mostly the police saying they spotted a man who fit the description enter a bus station and not be seen leaving it. He's probably going to a variety of US based places at the moment, but he should leave the county ASAP in case DNA points to the actual suspect and he gets put on a no fly list. P

[–] halcyoncmdr 30 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

DNA only helps if he's already in the system for some reason, like a previous crime. Or I suppose if he's ever used one of those DNA ancestry things. I bet the police have access to that, whether they're supposed to or not.

And for a no fly list, they need to know who it is first. If they knew that, we'd probably know as well since they're clearly trying to cast the net as wide as possible.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

DNA only helps if he's already in the system for some reason

Noooope....

He simply needs some family that contributed to 23andMe or similar, to narrow it down.

That's enough for a Judge to force them to hand over a DNA sample for comparison.

[–] halcyoncmdr 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

People online always want to assume everyone has large families for some reason. Most people don't have a huge extended family. Only children with small extended families are pretty common.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

As far as I know, my sperm donor doesn't have a huge family. All it takes is your one sibling to take a genetics test to no longer be an anonymous sperm donor. Same applies here. It just takes one.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Pretty sure they have everyone's DNA by now, between all the ancestry databases and the like.

[–] Ensign_Crab 10 points 1 week ago

That assumes they were able to collect DNA from the scene. Which is a public street in the largest city in the country.

[–] Duamerthrax 7 points 1 week ago

I heard he's hanging out the mole men in the sewers. The cops better check every pipe.

[–] Ep1cFac3pa1m 70 points 1 week ago (1 children)

fled

Pretty sure he just kinda left. Probably could’ve been high-fiving people on the way out.

[–] teamevil 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Now I want to see The Adjuster, the musical, escape scene

[–] givesomefucks 43 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No idea why you linked "wiki news" instead of one of the articles it cited...

UnitedHealth Group said it was focused on supporting Thompson’s family, ensuring the safety of employees and assisting investigators. “While our hearts are broken, we have been touched by the huge outpouring,” the company said.

But that gave me a chuckle, there has definitely been a huge outpouring, and I liked how their comment omits what exactly people have been saying, just that they're saying stuff.

[–] paraphrand 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’m into the wikinews link for this subject, for some reason.

[–] givesomefucks 1 points 1 week ago

If you meant because of the quote, it's from one of the articles...

The wikinees link was like two paragraphs with no info

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Pretty sure I saw him in Nunavut. They should send the investigators there.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bro he is in the Sahel right now

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe they should comb the desert.

[–] AngryCommieKender 2 points 1 week ago

All they found was Tuvix

[–] AngryCommieKender 3 points 1 week ago

He was definitely in Imperial Beach last night. Said something about Zihuatanejo. Might find him in Mexico at this point.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Lol more convinced than ever they're following some Canadian/Vermont kid on a bus trip back north, just because he stopped a night in a NY hostel and wore the wrong type of jacket on his morning coffee run.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Haha, yeah that’s probably it. We should all buy grey hoodies now just to throw them off

[–] Tangent5280 8 points 1 week ago

Imagine the kid is doing just normal kid things and all the cops on the stakeout are like: "Sir, he's assembling the lego millenium Falcon... menacingly"

[–] Olhonestjim 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wonder how difficult it would be to simply blend in with the homeless for a few weeks. They're pretty much invisible.

[–] alphabethunter 3 points 1 week ago

I imagine you could buy a bunch of similar Jackets and distribute them to the homeless in an area prior to doing anything, and just crash with them for some time after.

[–] grissino 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I always thought that this clip was too outrageous to be realistic...

I guess that I stand corrected!

(You can skip to 1:30)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What is this wiki news, some kind of hacker website?