this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I'm not really looking to hear from people who don't think this way, with answers like "insecurity", "toxic masculinity", etc. I want to hear answers from men who really detest men who sit to pee.

Follow-up questions:

  • when you have to piss while shitting, do you stand up turn around and piss on your shit and then sit back down to finish shitting?
  • are you ever groggy in the morning?
  • how clean is your toilet and surrounding floor, and whose job is cleaning it?
  • what are your true passions in life?
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[–] [email protected] 116 points 2 months ago (13 children)

Guys who do diss other guys for not peeing standing up have major self esteem issues or insecurities.

I'm a man and I pee sitting down because:

  • it's more comfortable
  • it doesn't splash pee water everywhere all over the toilet bowl and the floor or my pants.
  • can access the toilet paper easier to wipe clean instead of just shaking it and having a wet pee stain on my underwear
  • I have my hands free to use my phone
  • I can also fight anyone that might barge in an try to assault me while I pee without peeing on myself so it's a tactical defense position.
[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Real men sit to pee so they don't have to clean their own piss up later.

Whenever I talk about this, some asshat will come along and make a comment about sitting on a tree. No, dumbass, I don't sit to pee on a tree. Or a urinal. I sit to pee on my toilet at home so I can tell you what an idiot you are while I'm pissing just to prove how manly I am.

[–] almar_quigley 45 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Real men pee however they want and make sure not to leave a mess for the next bathroom user. Standing or sitting has nothing to do with masculinity.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Agreed, just making a joke because of the context.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Hahahahahaha! "dO yOu SiT aT a UrInAl Or On A tReE?" That is some wrinkle-free brain logic right there.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Never turn your back to the bathroom door bro

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] recapitated 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Now I lay me down to pee...

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[–] Agrivar 6 points 2 months ago

I can also fight anyone that might barge in an try to assault me while I pee without peeing on myself so it's a tactical defense position.

Bruh. You're giving up your best offensive maneuver by sitting down! You piss AT your attacker!

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[–] HootinNHollerin 55 points 2 months ago (10 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Here's something you never see... You never see a guy running full speed while taking a shit!" - George Carlin

[–] Etterra 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is pretty close too. But he's jumping not running.

NSFW mild

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[–] Boozilla 51 points 2 months ago

"What is that? An umbrella? Are you afraid of a little rain? Are you gay? What's the umbrella for, so you can stick it up your ass?"

I'm ripping off Bill Burr here. Macho men are drooling morons who die at age 54. Why ask them their opinion on anything?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't know who y'all hang out with, but my friends for decades have given each other shit for anything we can possibly think of. It's a form of male bonding.

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[–] breadsmasher 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I cant ever recall a time I have questioned, or been questioned, as to why a guy would sit to pee. I sit at home because its more comfortable. I stand at public toilets because the seats are gross

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I've only been questioned once about sitting to pee... it was after about 10 years of being married. My wife asked one day if I sit while peeing at home, and when I told her that I do she said "I've always wondered why there isn't pee all over our bathrooms".

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You're not going to hear from men who actually do this because they don't have a good reason and aren't typically comfortable with the kind of introspection the question demands.

Some people are exclusionary pricks who look for excuses to judge others. They don't have or need a reason. It's bullying.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I want to hear answers from men who really detest men who sit to pee.

I fear that you will not many of these kinds of people on Lemmy. If you really want a good answer, you'd have to post it somewhere like Twitter or Truth Social.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (11 children)

I always sit to pee when I'm at home, mostly so I don't have to worry about spray/drippage/seat positions, but I also believe that men have this amazing power where we have the ability to stand and pee... and I think the biggest flex you can make when you have amazing power is to only use that power when it makes sense. Restraint is power.

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[–] MisterNeon 20 points 2 months ago (12 children)

As a man WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME HOW YOU PEE!?! What god damn conversation is going on!?! How the hell did this come up? We don't normally talk about this!

My true passion in life is Aztec history.

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[–] johannesvanderwhales 18 points 2 months ago

I mostly sit down when I pee because my cat likes to spend quality time when I'm on the toilet and he gets upset if into in the bathroom and don't sit down.

Remember manliness is not caring about how other people define manliness.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes 17 points 2 months ago

Sitting to pee is normal, standing up is for public bathrooms and in nature.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I always prefer to sit unless I'm in a huge hurry. It's called a restroom for a reason. I'm going to take a break, browse Lemmy or something, and otherwise "rest". I'll return to work when I'm ready.

What really pisses me off is when I hear someone enter another stall to take a standing piss. They rarely put the seat up and always get pee all over everything. If you're going to stand, use a urinal. There's nothing more pathetic than being afraid to whip your dick out beside your fellow man, and instead, choose to piss on the place where others want to take a sit.

[–] jpreston2005 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

When I was in medical school, I had to drop a deuce during a break between lectures. While I was in there, performing spectacularly, some other guy came into the restroom (situated just outside the lecture hall) and shouted "Is somebody takin' a shit in here!?"

and I was just like, "...yeah, where else would I do it?"

But I feel like that guy who openly questioned why someone would shit in a bathroom, is exactly the same type of guy that would question someones masculinity over how they choose to take a piss.

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[–] bahbah23 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

when you have to piss while shitting, do you stand up turn around and piss on your shit and then sit back down to finish shitting?

I tried this once when I was probably about two or three years old. It did not go well.

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[–] MrJameGumb 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is this still a thing that people get upset about though? Personally I think a man sitting down just to pee is kind of silly, but I certainly wouldn't make fun or get upset about it. I think the last time I heard someone make a joke about men sitting to pee was like 15 years ago lol

[–] recapitated 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I will say the option to stand up is one of my favorite male privileges, but I'm also aware that such a petty thing to fav probably indicates my lack of perspective. But it is incredibly convenient in gross places and nowhere places.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I only stand in public at urinals.

Having to clean my own bathroom put a stop to the standing at home.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I sit facing the toilet so that I don't have to turn around to push the flush handle.

[–] ChronosTriggerWarning 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And you can put your comic and chocolate milk on the little shelf in the back!

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[–] Horsey 10 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I'm a cis-bi man married to a cis-gay man: I had to tell him to sit his ass on the toilet to piss because the area around the toilet was constantly filthy. I cannot believe still to this day how difficult it was to convince him why it is a good idea to just sit down to piss. If you cannot control the stream direction and shape perfectly when you piss (spoiler alert, you cannot), then sit down where you can spray the toilet bowl.

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[–] hardcoreufo 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't know who really makes fun of how other people pee, 12 year olds on the Internet?

Usually I stand, but if need to shit I sit or if it's the middle of the night and I don't want to turn on lights or sometimes I just feel like it.

I clean the mat in front of the toilet every week and clean the toilet every few weeks. I do spot wipes daily.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I don't shame people for it, but I worked at a place where the screw holding the seat broke and it took a week for a new one to get in to the local hardware shop, so any time someone went in for that week someone would say "better not sit to piss" rather than be helpful because we like to do a little trolling around here

One morning dude comes in clearly rushing cuz he's a little late, runs in, and my coworker says the line. Before he can finish it the guys already in the shitter with the door slammed we hear the zipper he's going so fast and furious, hear his ass hit the seat at speed, as well as him and the seat sliding from the missing bolt and falling into the corner of the room, taking the lid of the reservoir with him

The "GYADDAMIT" as everything in the other room crashed and banged will be with me til I die, it makes me chuckle every time I think of it

[–] count_dongulus 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Takin up the one stall to pee when there are three urinals open and I gotta blast

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[–] MehBlah 8 points 2 months ago

If I have to poop as well as pee I sit. Who cares what some insecure dude thinks about that?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I just do whatever I feel like doing at the time.

I've never heard someone's strong opinion about it. Do guys really diss guys for sitting down?

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[–] andrewta 8 points 2 months ago

Asks for one group to respond - gets the opposite.

[–] jewbacca117 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

We will make fun of how you hold a spoon. It doesn't mean anything, were just giving each other shit.

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[–] Hikermick 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My girlfriend gave me a hard time about it. I told her I was pro-choice

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[–] yesman 7 points 2 months ago

The King James Bible has the phrase those who "pissith against the wall" several times. In context it's pejorative for the rude class or enemies of King David, but Christians who insist on the KJV struggle to read and understand it, and have taken it as God's own description of male. and therefore pissing standing up isn't just an aspect of masculinity, but it's essence.

[–] olafurp 7 points 2 months ago (4 children)

There is an argument for standing to pee since it empties the urethra more completely compared to sitting to pee. This is mostly relevant for 40+ people since they are more likely to have any issues.

Simple trick to shit/sit and pee and still empty everything is to push on the area between dick and butthole.

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[–] WoahWoah 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Because the toilet touches your ass therefore automatically making you gay, bro. Same reason some men don't wipe their asshole.

I wish I was kidding.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I would never give a damn what others do in a bathroom, aside from: don't make a mess. (Or clean it yourself right then.)

I stand to pee and am observant that I do not make a mess. I aim such that there is no mess and am critical of cleanliness. If I had a miss, I would clean it then and there. I clean my own bathroom every week at least and do not see evidence of failure in my technique.

YMMV and that's ok. Worrying about others is a weird self esteem thing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I will go ahead and be the only person to honestly engage with the terms of your question.

There is a movement that started a long time ago and continues today to "domesticate" boys. Boys are invariably more disobedient in controlled classrooms and group activities and so they need to be "broken in" and taught how to conform to the requirements of modern life and education. Girls tend to fit into this structure more easily as can be attested by the higher educational outcomes among women in countries that allow them to achieve it.

With this in mind there is a lot of resentment against this "breaking in" process. This metastasizes when boys hear all about how "toxic" they are by virtue of how they were born, how much more trouble they are to deal with etc. The emotional response is to resist all attempts to demasculinize them, even in the case of something as inconsequential as bathroom etiquette.

This is an honest representation of the perspective in question. Don't get all passed off at me for being capable of presenting it.

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