this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Guy buying condoms? He's hoping to get some.

Guy buying tampons? He's definitely getting some.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And probably using condoms or he'd be buying pregnancy tests instead

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Have the republicans banned birth control in your state already?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Single dad erasure!

[–] Crackhappy 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He is determined to earn the name "Red Beard".

[–] MutilationWave 3 points 1 month ago

Earn your red wings yet?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Stay strong brother, praying for a swift recovery.

/s

[–] Viking_Hippie 28 points 1 month ago

Instructions unclear, sent horde of Swifties to recovery room.

[–] Dadifer 35 points 1 month ago

Um, the picture clearly indicates that the box was OPEN. He ded

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nurse, this man neds 50cc's of swagger, stat! And go make me a sandwich, because I'll turn gay if I go into the staff kitchen.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fuck, he's crashing! Tell respiratory to prepare a cigar smoke nebulizer. Set up a tren drip! Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, where is it?!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, ~~where is it~~ did one of you females mess up the order again?!

FTFY

[–] ettyblatant 7 points 1 month ago

I'm so sorry, sir! All I found in the women's cabinet was blatant misogyny, all of the casual emergency/accidental misogynies are a week late because I am ON MY PERIOD!!

[–] Jimbabwe 19 points 1 month ago

And now they’ve got him deep throating a fat, girthy, breathing tube?! That is like.. HELLA GAY!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Are guys really worried about manliness when picking up tampons at the store? If anything it'd make a guy look better to me. Picture this: big scruffy sweatpants dude shuffling your way in a tight alley in the early hours of the morning... Then oops! he drops his box of tampons.

He could probably stab me cuz that would drop my guard big time.

[–] flicker 13 points 1 month ago

A friend in high school heard me and the girls whispering (one of whom was his girlfriend). When he found out one of us needed a pad or tampons and we were seeing who had some, he got excited for the chance to go to the store to get them for us, because he said that buying tampons is the same as screaming, "I have a woman!!!"

I hope that guy is happy, wherever he is. He was a kind soul.

[–] Visstix 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm mostly worried about which one to grab

[–] RebekahWSD 3 points 1 month ago

This is why I always wrote down very precisely what pads I needed for my husband to grab, or just took a photo and sent that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

and then use the tampons to avoid leaving blood traces

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Tnx, the funniest thing I've read in a while

[–] mtpender 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Honest question, WTF is going on over in America?

From my POV as an outsider looking in, your whole political system has gone mental. What happened to just governing and campaigning with common sense? How the hell did the truth become optional? Why is every issue a "culture war" issue? I can't wrap my head around it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

As someone on the inside of the US...I don't know. We've always had a pretty strong strain of anti-intellectual idiocy, but the past decade or two has just been bizarre. The ugly hate and willful ignorance is embarrassing, scary, and really demoralizing.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

When interviewed, a Friend of the victim said: dang bro, this beast would usually just smash a 6er of Busch light, blast some rock music and he be back to clam-slammin' in no time flat!

[–] jaggedrobotpubes 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago