I want to get bitten by a capybara and get the superpower of being chill 100% of the time.
this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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Have you considered switching to indicas?
Based on the internet it also seems like every creature on earth is totally down to give a capybara a piggyback ride. I assume that influence is part of the capybara's powers.
I think peter from dead pool got that one
The Immortal Jellyfish, taking their transdifferentiation ability in which they can reverse aging and damage at macro and cellular levels.
I'd be worried that picking jellyfish might cause you to lose your brain as well. Which would be pretty inconvenient outside of preparing you for a career in politics.
Mm, I assumed that wasn't part of the deal. Spider-Man didn't get the brain of a spider. It's only select characteristics.
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I was going to say a frog since they can change sex.
But jellyfish can apparently change sex and be immortal, so, I change my answer to the immortal jellyfish too.
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A housefly so my lifespan is 2 days
Good news,
Plenty of animal bites can give you the same or even a better experience!
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Bitten by a radioactive housecat, I gain the ability to sleep deeply and comfortably in a position that by all rights looks like it should be destroying my spine
Like I'll take whatever else you wanna throw on top, night vision or claws or something, but I only really need that first thing
Bats, I want their crazy advanced immune system and interferon production. Bats are tiny mammals with a metabolism even faster than a rat/mouse due to the high energy needs of powered flight. Typically, small mammals with this fast of a metabolism will live like 2-5 years, because cell division is so rapid that after only a few years, the cells' DNA becomes too damaged to continue. However, bats have insane immune systems. They're immune (asymptomatic carriers) to nearly every virus capable of infecting them because their immune systems produce so much interferon that any damage to the DNA (eg from a virus inserting code for its own reproduction into a cell) is corrected almost immediately. This process also partially repairs damage from cell-division, meaning that bats can live up to ~40 YEARS depending on the species. If a human had that ability, it would be like living to 400 or 500 years old, and being immune to nearly every disease (between native viral immunity, and antibiotics for bacterial infections)
Also Monitor Lizards. They're the most intelligent squamate reptile (group that includes all living reptiles except turtles, crocodilians, and birds, who are archosauromorphs), except for possibly the cobra. But, they're still cold-blooded, so I can just nap on a hot rock without eating for 2 days and be Fine. They do get Stupid when the temperature drops too much (lowers their metabolic rate, and intelligence uses lots of energy), but I live in Florida, so that's fine💀. They're also one of the only lizards that can both breathe and walk at the same time (apparently most squamate reptiles use the same muscles for breathing as moving their forelimbs?? Wack.). This is how they became so intelligent, there was more O2 coming into the body, so the overall metabolic budget to evolve stuff like Large Brain became much larger.
Also they're adorable, monitor lizards can be so friendly, curious, and playful, they're like the Lizard version of cat imo. I really want one, they even like to cuddle (humans are Warm, and they're smart enough to recognize and trust you enough to want cuddles). I'm gonna get a cute little Ackie monitor once I graduate college I think.
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a cat. I would like my superpower to be that everybody treats me like a cat
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A kitten, and my superpowers are gonna be huge dick and $10k/day.
Next question.
How isn't there one post mentioning Mantis shrimp for the vision and punching power. Or any gorilla for being vegan and jacked. What about a giraffe? You could taste a women's urine to know if she's ovulating. Are these not no the default answers?
Mantis Shrimp have worse colour vision than humans. They need all those receptors because their brains are too simple to combine colours like a human brain can. A human can see hundreds of shades of purple in between red and blue. A mantis shrimp can only see as many colours as it has receptors. It's like seeing in 8 bit.
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Everyone seems to think the question says you get powers related to the animal that bites you, but it isn't worded that way. I'd get bit by a kitten and have the power of telekinesis, which is really multiple powers. I could fly, create forcefields, create cold or heat by moving atoms, hell, I could create all kinds of things by manipulating atoms.
You have cheated my system. As punishment I will make sure no super power granting animal ever bites you. Muhahaha!
Everyone seems to think the question says you get powers related to the animal that bites you, but it isn't worded that way.
You cheeky fucker. I like your thinking.
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An axolotl. I love swimming, less so the idea of SCUBA diving. I'd spend so many hours just chilling in the coral reefs on a sunny day. They're amphibious too so it means I could breathe just fine on land and in the water!
Human, so that I can be even humaner. If I can get humaner enough I might bypass superhuman and become hyperhuman. I didn't know if that will give me 5th-dimensional awareness or make me explode, but if superpowers are involved, there's only one way to find out.
Alternatively a mountain goat so I can wall-run through downtown like it's fucking Skyrim.
"Man-Man! He's bestowed with all the powers of a man... but he's a man."
"Oh, I bet Man-Man gets his powers from Robert Bly!"
I'll go with orangutan, and gain the ability to shift how my muscles are attached to my bones so I can adjust fine muscle control vs raw power.
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Octopus. I would hope to get the ability to shape shift.
I'm answering in the spirit of the question, but it wasn't specified that the animal has to match the power. In that case, I'd choose basically the smallest thing that could feasibly bite me. A tardigrade for example.
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Do the superpowers have to correlate to the abilities of the animal that bites me, like Spider-Man?
Probably a grasshopper, if so. Being able to bound to basically anywhere I need to get would be nice, get some wings to course correct in the air. Or a mantis shrimp because then I really would never have to worry about losing a fight.
But if it's any animal/any superpower: mosquito/super speed
Tardigrade, I'd have extreme resistance to basically all climates and can be dried up and rehydrated back to life effectively allowing me to "travel" through time by waiting in death...so my shows are all finished lol.
I'd also make a great astronaut
Edit: words
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An Asian palm civet, giving me the power to crap out exclusive high-priced coffee beans.
Ladybug bite.
I would like to attain their hard candy shell and ability to fly.
Fwiw, a lady bug once bit my ear drum several times over the course of the longest half hour of my life up until that point. It hurts. A lot.
Man, that sounds horrible. I’ve only been bit on my arms and neck by them. I would pass on ladybug eardrum bites if offered, thank you.
Don't let one negative review scare you off of ladybug eardrum bites. There's a tendency for only those with the most-negative (and rare!) experiences to post reviews, but there are a lot of us out there who've had only great experiences with ladybug eardrum bites.
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Dog, so that I could lick my own... belly...
yes I would like to sign up to be bitten by a human woman, ty
wait, I get a free superpower too!?
(I'll take super intelligence cuz maybe it'll cancel out my stupidity then)
I choose to get bitten by a catgirl and gain the power of not actually existing.
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Wombat. The power to take square shits.
A lizard, then a pig.
Chop off a limb. Eat bacon.
Repeat.
Free bacon forever!
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A turtle! 🐢
- Great lifespan
- Even better defensive skills
- No need to go to a dentist on the account of not needing teeth anymore
- Great software development skills due to Shell Access
Edit, almost forgot:
- Wider housing options (unless they, I dunno, fill the sewers with concrete or something)
- Possibility of martial arts training
A cat so I can lick my own ass
Water bear. I want to live forever and be a cutie.
Even though I'm scared of heights, being able to fly sounds fun. So maybe a bat or something?
Or maybe just a wolf so I can live out elaborate werewolf fantasies.
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