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I went to one Vietnamese restaurant all the time that was exactly like this. I ate there so often, one time when they were full they let me sit at the table with their son doing homework. I felt so honored.

Oh yeah, I know that place.

• constant stream of Asian students from the nearby university
• enormous menu, but somehow everything is made quickly
• additional staff are either family from the old country, or Latinos
• flyers in Mandarin (?) for things like churches, lawyers, and real estate agents.

Close; it's usually Cantonese and not Mandarin. But yes, otherwise true.

I worked at one of these places for a while. My primary duties: Delivery, manning the phones, being a native English speaker. I gained a lot of insight about the Chinese takeout industry.

Also, you've never lived until you've seen the owner's wife march out into the lobby and whack the shit out of some hood rat with a giant spoon.

If it has 3.5 stars on Google, and 90% of the bad reviews are from people with white sounding names complaining of poor service.... You're in for some fucking delicious food from a proper family owned Chinese restaurant!

I judge my Chinese food by the condition of the place, if it's super fancy and well kept, not going to be that good. If the building looks like it's ready to be condemned, you damn well know it's gonna be the best Chinese food you have ever had

Also MSG is the best.

I was going to one for a while where the wife never even asked my name when I ordered. Not even the first time. Yet, when I showed up, she knew. Same for every customer.

I used a seamstress for 20 years. Same thing.

There's a wing joint by my house run by a Korean married couple. Instead of fries with your wings, you get Korean fried rice.

The food is amazing.

What's lacking is the yelling. These two act like every minute of every day is living out their dream and they're openly happy and appreciative of their fortuitous lot in life.

I love giving them my money.

As someone who moves around a lot, finding a decent Chinese takeout place is extremely difficult. I'm constantly chasing the high of finding a restaurant that actually makes everything fresh (and had an authentic non-americanized menu). 95% of small town spots just sell the generic and tasteless Sysco meals because people just don't know how much better it can be.

We have one of those and it's amazing. They even have a drive through. The only problem is I can't understand a word she says over the order speaker. It sounds like yelling from inside a tin can in a hurricane with a heavy accent. But honestly it wouldn't be the same without that.

The variation I’ve seen at some of the places near me is that the husband and wife are both in the kitchen and the 10-year old is taking the orders.

Bro you know it's good food when there is a 10 year old manning the register.

And you get a meal that is like two full dinner's worth for $7

This is my favorite place (China Gourmet). $6 for one of those classic 4 compartment styrofoam boxes crammed so full of food it barely even shuts, and the food is the best shit you've ever tasted.

went to a korean restaurant with 2 friends, one of them their grandma was the owner. and the grandma refused to let us pay for our delicious meal. absolutely refused. that was a great day

The one I encountered with the best food by far had a little like 11-year-old daughter who would take orders and work the register when things got busy. Maybe it is child labor but I feel like all the kids in the family were getting a solid upbringing.

Ours closed down because health inspector 🙃 it's coming back though thank the lord

I honestly don't care if a rat had it's brood on the food. That shit is delicious.

lemongrass beef with jalapeños extra spicy over fried rice can't be beat.

I miss the one near me that was like this. They were so cheap too. Their dumpling sauce was like crack. Wife screeching at her husband and then telling you to try the fish ball. They’d give you extra pancakes for your moo shu without asking. I didn’t realize how special it was at the time.

I have a place just like that around the corner.
The food sucks.

Change that to Cantonese and you have my partner's childhood.

I used to live near one where neither parent spoke very good English, so they had their teenage daughter answering phones and handling payment while her five year old brother rolled around on a tricycle.

The amazing thing was she was better at taking phone orders than anyone I've had to deal with. Her voice was clear and easy to understand, with no pots clattering in the background. She would read the order back to me and then tell me how much it was going to be and when it would be ready. You'd think this is normal stuff but it almost never happens when I call in an order, which is why I use DoorDash instead.

10/10 would order from there again.

The best Chinese place I've ever eaten at is exactly this. My sister was on the son's soccer team and my mom gave the kid a ride to practice a few times. The parents paid us in our usual orders for helping them out.

What the fuck, you just described the local Chinese food place to a T, what is this wizardry?

I'm my city this is true, however, a new style has emerged: the two young people who opened a restaurant together serving a limited menu where every item is intensely good. I could post a pretty long list of these.

Also, pay in cash.

Do chain Chinese places even exist outside of malls and tourist traps?

I deliver to Asian restaurants for a living. So speaking with some authority on the subject, this is absolutely true

That last part is too accurate lol. We sometimes visited our friend's family restaurant and he would always be at the counter doing his homework when we walk in.