this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 138 points 8 months ago (4 children)

This is just a quiet part out loud thing again. Remember, to most American evangelicals, anything less than a devotion to evangelical Christianity is satanism. It's a binary thing to them, so whether you're actually Jewish, or Hindu, or atheist, or whatever, it doesn't matter; if you aren't American evangelical Christian, then you are Satanist. I'm not being hyperbolic, this is a core tenet of American evangelical Christianity.

[–] xhieron 40 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Make no mistake: Catholics, Lutherans, Anglicans, Christians Universalists, Christians who happen to vote Democrat, and other Christian or near-Christian faiths will not be spared. This is certainly a religious movement, but it does not have Jesus of Nazareth at its head.

This movement has more in common with the Westboro hate/terrorism group than with orthodox Christianity, and Christians who do not espouse the right political hatred will absolutely be labeled Satanists too.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They won't spare their own, either. Fascists turn on their own for bullshit purity tests every time. This is always just a grab for power and religion is just the excuse.

[–] CharlesDarwin 9 points 8 months ago

Yep. Look no further than the spats between Marge and Bobo for a preview. Or between tiny d and....well, nearly anyone that's ever worked for him.

[–] ChunkMcHorkle 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

deleted by creator

[–] silverbax 23 points 8 months ago

You are 100% correct.

[–] GraniteM 12 points 8 months ago

"Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over."

—Emo Phillips

[–] CharlesDarwin 10 points 8 months ago

My favorite thing was noticing how many of them also call any non-xtian religion (but also includes Mormons and JW and Catholics, too, lol, WUT) "pagan".

First time I ran across such a thing, I was like..."wait, wait, wait, what?" in the middle of one of them going through a Gish Gallop of evangelical bullshit.

[–] Rapidcreek 100 points 8 months ago (1 children)

When I think of a satanic cult in Alabama, Tommy, I think of the largest terrorist organization in our history, the KKK.

Ever been to one of their meetings, Tommy?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

We all know he's a regular. Nursing a beer and longing for the days they could....BBQ Uppercase Ts....and...decorate trees with rope...

[–] iamericandre 67 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Why is a senator from Alabama at a campaign stop in Utah?

[–] CynicRaven 25 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's goofy as hell. House members and senators can get donations and contributions from people anywhere. I'm sure it could be funneled to circumvent, but I would expect laws that candidates be only allowed to get them from entities and people in their geographic constituencies would at least have some kind of positive effect.

[–] rayyy 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

House members and senators can get donations and contributions from people anywhere

Mostly rich folks with right wing agendas that benefit themselves though. It was mostly the rich right wingers that funded Jan6 - looking at Ginny Thomas.

[–] gAlienLifeform 10 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Out of state donations help out a lot of Democrats in red area too. The difference tends to be Republican candidates get mega-donors and corps from out of state, while Dems get lots of small donation from private citizens throughout the country.

The 2020 Senate races in Georgia, Kentucky and Texas come to mind. They had popular Dem candidates that were getting donations from all over because of the attention their races were getting.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Mormons have money.

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[–] Tedrow 59 points 8 months ago (2 children)

This is a part of Christian Nationalism. Their strategy is to say that leaders of groups they don't agree with are literally possessed by demons. This is their plan to dehumanize the opposition. They are very careful to mention going to war with, and killing, the demons. You can see the slippery slope. This is very intentional language.

[–] CharlesDarwin 10 points 8 months ago

It goes hand in hand with them claiming all their opposition are pedos, as well. Even though if there is any group with a pedo problem, it's the right wing.

[–] Bytemeister 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Fuck it. I'll get possessed by a progressive demon that taxes billionaires and corporations at a fair rate, over following a god that supports bigotry against LGBTQ people and laughs at children's drowning in a river filled with razor wire, any fuckin day of the week.

[–] Badeendje 50 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

Are these satanic cultists in the room with us now?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I uh... Play D&D, so yes I guess?

[–] MegaUltraChicken 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I play MTG so I'm technically a sorcerer?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Definitely yes here's my Satanic Temple membership card.

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 44 points 8 months ago

Oh look it's the Satanic Panic again...

[–] [email protected] 43 points 8 months ago (1 children)

He's got to be more specific. I belong to at least 3, which one is stealing kids?

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago (1 children)

“We have never overcome a cult like we’re dealing with right now.”

More projection.

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[–] Sterile_Technique 31 points 8 months ago (2 children)

That's like the one and only religion that actually respects humanity, so even taking this guy's bullshit at face value, it's still good news lol.

Tenets of satanism:

I - One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

II - The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

III - One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

IV - The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

V - Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

VI - People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

VII - Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

[–] frankspurplewings 16 points 8 months ago (3 children)

These are the tenets of The Satanic Temple (TST) not the Church of Satan. They are different.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago

Every accusation is an admittance.

[–] Therealgoodjanet 30 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] billiam0202 14 points 8 months ago

Well, conservatives hate progress, so...

[–] Got_Bent 27 points 8 months ago

Can you imagine sending your eighteen year old son to play football for this guy? Must've been quite interesting if your eighteen year old son also happened to have an abundance of melanin.

[–] MapleEngineer 24 points 8 months ago (2 children)

The Satanic Panic is back? The whole drag queen story thing ran its course and they couldn't come up with anything new so they went back to the Satanic Panic? What's next, satanic messages in music if you pay rock music MP3's backward?

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[–] krigo666 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The biggest satanic cult are these republican assholes.

[–] TheLowestStone 50 points 8 months ago

Please don't insult Satanists like that.

[–] Aecosthedark 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] CharlesDarwin 17 points 8 months ago (2 children)

This dipshit hates America. Get the country back to which god? This is a secular country. Go fuck yourself with that nonsense.

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[–] masquenox 13 points 8 months ago

You sold your children's souls to a cult the minute you made them salute a piece of colored fabric every day, Tommy. It's too late to start whining about it now.

[–] pennomi 12 points 8 months ago

Of course he doesn’t like Romney, Romney was one of the only Republicans who voted to convict Trump.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Too bad, I’m proud to be satans whore so stfu senator dumperville. Go eat shit >:3

[–] Treczoks 10 points 8 months ago

Oh, he realized what Trump really is?

[–] oDDmON 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Tuberville, a politician the Onion loves and Alabama keeps electing.

[–] FuglyDuck 13 points 8 months ago

I don’t think the onion really likes the dude-

He keeps upstaging their satire

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago
[–] inclementimmigrant 8 points 8 months ago

I mean a lot of us lost a lot of older relatives to a cult so I guess turnabout is fair play.

[–] _lilith 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

shut up tommy nothing that cool is happening. Less people give a fuck about your dumb desert wizard because you are using him as an excuse to hurt people

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