this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
806 points (98.9% liked)

Greentext

5576 readers
2937 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

>Volcano erupts in Indonesia
>Locals don't notice because they have shit weather radar
>747 flies through the dust cloud
>All 4 engines get filled with volcanic ash and burn out
>"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."
>Spend 12 minutes gliding, dropping 23,500 feet in the process
>The pilots are preparing to be the first 747 ever to attempt a water landing
>Finally one of the engines restarts
>But ILS is offline
>Windscreen is completely opaque due to ash, no way to clean it
>Manage to land running entirely on instruments
>Fatalities: 0
>Injuries: 0
Survivors: 263

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 191 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One correction I feel is needed, the windscreen wasn't dirty from ash, it had effectively been sand blasted opaque, with only a small corner of the screen remaining clear

[–] Maalus 53 points 1 year ago

To go further, pretty certain that jets have wipers. If it was just ash, they could have cleaned it to get some visibility.

[–] slaacaa 184 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The level of stakes at some jobs are crazy.

Another example: if the powerpoint slides my team prepares for a board meeting are not pretty enough, my director might be sad.

[–] [email protected] 113 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I literally cannot tell the difference.

Source: am manager, and sometimes my underlings don't toil hard enough in the PowerPoint mines.

[–] Randelung 20 points 1 year ago

Literally world ending.

[–] tool 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I literally cannot tell the difference.

Source: am manager, and sometimes my underlings don't toil hard enough in the PowerPoint mines.

You should mercilessly berate them until morale improves, that's MBA 101.

You're gonna be back in the PowerPoint mines if you don't fix your soft-hearted attitude.

[–] HappycamperNZ 144 points 1 year ago

You missed the chaddiest part.

Got two of four engines running. Climbs to set up for landing, one engine starts surging and flaming.

After losing all engines, nearly ditching at sea with no engines, the elation of getting something back and not knowing what will happen with the other one, with 250 lives on the line they shut it down because they know they should.

Good thing a 747 can carry balls of that size on one engine

[–] [email protected] 95 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] khannie 58 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Moody made an announcement to the passengers that has been described as "a masterpiece of understatement"

I didn't believe that was an actual quote but here we are.

On the descent without visibility....

Moody described it as "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse."

Oh my word. HAHAHA!

[–] z00s 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I mean, it begs the question as to how he knows what the inside of a badger's arse looks like lol

[–] SlopppyEngineer 78 points 1 year ago (4 children)

And that's how pilots learned to never fly around an erupting volcano and several years back all air traffic in Europe was halted when a volcano with an unpronounceable name in Iceland had a bad moment.

[–] Klear 32 points 1 year ago

That was shortly after their economy crashed. I remember people saying that the last wish of Iceland's economy was to have its ashes spread across Europe.

[–] Land_Strider 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hey, it is easy to spell how Icelanders pronounce it in my native language:

Eyyafyatlayakötül

[–] SlopppyEngineer 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Islandmountainglacier. Got it. Why didn't they say that in the first place?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

On an island full of mountain glaciers, it does make you wonder how they came up with that name.

[–] SlopppyEngineer 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The others have names like "rock flake", "old hag", "cloak", "broad shoulders", "Erik's "glacier" and "baldric's bump" from what I can quickly find. It seems they gave up with the Islandmountainglacier.

[–] shalafi 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Baldric's got a bump that looks just like a turnip

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Catch a throatful from the fire vocal With ash and molten glass like Eyjafjallajökull

[–] chiliedogg 5 points 1 year ago

When talking about things in Iceland, the u pronounceable part can be safely assumed. You only need to clarify if it can be pronounced.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

When I was a kid, there was a TV show on the Discovery Channel called "Mayday" where they would reenact famous plane accidents. The episode about this particular incident (Falling from the sky) was my absolute favorite.

One thing anon left out is that they didn't actually realize what was going on at the time, and they witnessed something called "Saint Elmo's Fire" which looks a bit like the way they show stars whizzing past the Enterprise in Star Trek when they warp. So these pilots were not only flying blind and lame, but the whole time were seeing something that looked like they had just been teleported to another dimension out their window.

Edit: It turns out the full episode is on YouTube. Enjoy!

[–] accideath 21 points 1 year ago

I can recommend the YouTube channel Mentour Pilot who breaks down flight accidents and incidents, how they happened, what went wrong and why and what lessons were learned from them.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That show is now called Air Crash Investigation and it still airs! Its my favourite, I highly recommend catching up the recent seasons

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

show is now called Air Crash Investigation

According to the wikipedia I linked, the name varies based on where the show is aired. In Canada and the US, it's still called Mayday

[–] ikidd 49 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Read "The Checklist Manifesto" and you understand why pilots follow their protocols. Outcomes like this are because they did everything exactly according to the checklist.

[–] commandar 23 points 1 year ago

Seriously fantastic book and it's a quick read. Definitely recommended.

It's written by a surgeon who was involved in helping promote the use of checklists in healthcare. A lot of the book is about looking at their use in other places like aviation and construction and realizing why they work and how they can help in other places. The book spends a lot of time on the idea that some fields have become so complex with so many pieces that it's impossible for any one person to be able to track it all in their head on the fly and the effect that has in "can't afford failure" industries.

A book about checklists sounds like it'd be dreadfully dry and boring but the author is a solid writer and the book is full of a ton of really interesting vignettes -- I find people tend to fly through it. I first read it probably 10 years ago and it's one of those books that has really stuck with me since.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Checklists are great and they work.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] gmtom 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The calmness and professionalism in the face over terrible odds and potential catastrophe just scream "british"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Could have been a very different outcome if not for the quick thinking of the cabin crew brewing up more tea for the pilots.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

That has to be the best "captain speaking" moment in history.

[–] xantoxis 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'd be so pissed if I was on that plane

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Your alternative would be being dead. I’d say they did pretty darn well. Any landing you can walk away from was a good landing after all.

[–] xantoxis 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think you missed the point of my joke.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Now to be fair, I catch 99% of internet sarcasm and I thought you were sincere. There is a fair amount to be upset about despite surviving.

[–] Maalus 9 points 1 year ago

I always assume it's not a joke if it's not funny. Later lets me be an ahole when they defend themselves :)

[–] TheBat 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's why you should always wear brown chinos while traveling.

[–] Contingencyfork 19 points 1 year ago

Doesn't work. Been there. Still shows.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

0% chaddery. 100% sorcery. The chad knoweth not the mind of the mystic.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

I watched the Mentour Pilot video on this landing and it's crazy!

[–] Heavybell 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mentour Pilot did a good video on this, including an interview with the pilot. https://youtu.be/YYwN1R8hVsI

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Linkerbaan 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Wooki 8 points 1 year ago

Missed the best part, they got a once in a lifetime lightening show located entirely in their kitchen I mean 747

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Speedbird 9

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›