this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
606 points (97.2% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

5842 readers
612 users here now

Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.

Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.


Other Communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 157 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I love how she uses "little bird" as example for how great her nicknames are

[–] spongebue 53 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I call my wife that occasionally, but only when I ask what the word is ("what's the word, little bird?")

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Does she respond "how now brown cow?"

[–] FatTony 57 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I'm thinking more like: "I want a divorce, charley horse."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"Blow it out your ass, you rotting bass."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Imma gonna eat ya, Tony pizza.

[–] FatTony 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oooh she'll like that one!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

I'm gonna eat you out, my little trout.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hansl 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Bird. Bird’s the word. Ah B-B-Bird bird bird. Bird is the word.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (3 children)

That was the nickname they used for Tevye’s daughter Chavala in Fiddler on the Roof.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Tony Pizza? I haven't watched that movie in a while, but I feel like I'd remember Tony Pizza being serenaded by the tailor to "Wonder of Wonders."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] mojofrododojo 13 points 11 months ago

If I ever refer to anyone as little bird it'll include miniguns.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MD_Helicopters_MH-6_Little_Bird

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] aeronmelon 151 points 11 months ago

"Please help, the wedding is in three hours."

[–] MinorLaceration 87 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Do people really put that much thought into pet names? I've always thought it should be something that comes about organically, not something forced.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 months ago (3 children)

it should be something that comes about organically, not something forced.

Ok, but my pet name for you is now Hemorrhoids Henry

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

See, organic would have been calling MinorLaceration The Black Knight. "'Tis but a scratch."

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Chee_Koala 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well my significant other is not creative at all, and started calling me poop-y, which i dislike (there are so many words, why pick a term for excrement), In that case, I had to speak my mind and explain that I did not like that pet name. Sometimes, nature needs a little help

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (4 children)

My pet name for my wife is sarcastic. Same back.

We tried the normal ones; no good.

[–] cosmicrookie 20 points 11 months ago

You really call her "sarcastic" to her face?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] chetradley 8 points 11 months ago

One day my wife said "see you later, alligator" and I reflexively replied "bye gator" and she's been gator ever since.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MirthfulAlembic 65 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I would love if my spouse had a weird-ass nickname for me like that.

[–] themeatbridge 60 points 11 months ago (3 children)

My wife has thousands of cute nicknames for our dogs. She calls me by my first name.

[–] Jubei_K_08 49 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I bet you're in her phone with your last name, too.

[–] thesporkeffect 21 points 11 months ago

This comment could start a war, jeez

[–] Guy_Fieris_Hair 14 points 11 months ago

I'm "Asshole" in my wife's phone. I discovered this years after she had it that when she used Google assistant to call my phone when I was looking for it. "OK Google, call my husband " "OK, calling Asshole"

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Aww, Pencil Dumpling... You're not missing out on much!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I love you, sour meat 💖

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 54 points 11 months ago

Classic.

This is one of my favorite internet stories.

[–] flashfelix 47 points 11 months ago

Call me Anthony Pizza!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

What a delightful microcosm of the human experience. Tony Pizza.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago
[–] beirdobaggins 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'll just leave this graffiti here.

fartdog ❤️s munki

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Some women just don't know how to appreciate a keeper :/

[–] cheese_greater 9 points 11 months ago

The Crevice

load more comments
view more: next ›