Until someone finds his phylactery there's nothing that can be done. Liches gonna lich.
this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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I heard its just a regular Ball mason jar and they keep it in the basement at the Heritage Foundation... like right by the display case with Ted Cruz's spine and across from the cheap plastic dorm room trashcan from Target that houses McCarthy's single brain cell.
I know this is a rumor because Ted Cruz doesn't have a spine.
Ah, yeah, I forgot to mention: the display case is empty.
"This is where i would keep Ted Cruz's spine - if he had one"
this what you get when you allow the Lich to DM.. i don't know who decided that was a good idea, you know.. must have been some bargain or other..
“I’m going to finish my term as leader and.."
{ 47 seconds of silence }
"I’m going to finish my Senate term,”
SPEAK SLOWLY AND CLEARLY FOR THE SENATOR PLEASE.
Mitch McConnell has personally done more harm to the people of the US than anyone since Reagan. He is one of the greatest monsters in modern American history, directly responsible for immeasurable human suffering and he does not deserve to live.
The next one needs to kill him, and I hope it happens on camera for all of us to watch, because it's the closest tbong to justice he will ever face.
I'd love to watch the life slowly leave his eyes as he shits himself on national television.
I, for one, hope hell is real. Eternal torment will turn out to be a fair deal when offset by the sheer delight of watching people like McConnell plead with God as the gates shut behind them. "But...but I hurt all the people you told me to hurt..."
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I'd him or Newt
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Harry may have gotten 2 horcruxes so far, but he surely won't find the rest.
we’re gonna watch him die at a press conference.
Stop, I can only get so erect!
More like at the Senate floor. And get on the news cycle for 15 min.
Slow and steady wins the race- the Tortoise
I will forever hear Jon Stewart’s impression when I read McConnell quotes.
Once the lizard people mothership arrives with his new host body from the home world.
We need to retake the Senate for the blue team in 2024 so that we can have a real leader, like Diane Feinstein.
I don’t know what exact joke you’re trying to make, but it really is well past time both of them retire.
Of course. When has he ever made a decision that benefits others than himself? Never.
I don't know what's going through these ancient politicians' heads but don't they reach a point where they've accomplished everything in life they can and they just want to relax? Being an 80+ year old senator and dying in office sounds horrible to me.
It's not about being accomplished for most of them anymore. It's about not letting go of their power. They won't admit to themselves that they're old or the world has changed. They grip desperately to their seat and their power because they "can still do it", and they "know what's best".
People who have had a senile friend or family member have seen similar stuff plenty of times. Older adults who can't even close their hands all the way or remember that they dont have shoes on will argue and fight, sometimes violently, that they can still do something. For example, still cook with an open flame despite catching their house on fire three separate times. Or that they can still drive despite not seeing past their fingertips and not knowing what city they're in.
There is a thing called aging gracefully that involves accepting the difficulties of getting older and passing the torch, and clearly a large number of politicians are having a serious problem with it.
Lich McConnell went back and reviewed the Necronomicon and realized that these episodes don't actually mean anything and the necromancy spell he cast 800 years ago should give him a few more terms.
The Senate is becoming the movie "Weekend at Bernie's"
Sen. Mitch McConnell 's future ghost (RIP-Ky.) vowed Wednesday to keep ~~his~~ its job as Senate Republican leader...
ftfy
Be honest with yourself, you have like 4-6 years at most.
I don’t even think he’s got that long.
There’s only a one year difference in these pictures.
You have to drink a lot of baby blood to maintain the skin suit's integrity, and it's hard to sneak up on a baby when you keep having strokes
it’s hard to sneak up on a baby when you keep having strokes
That's some profound wisdom.
Ahh, so that's why they want to end abortion...
You'd be stunned how long someone will cling to life out of pure spite
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Yeah but that's drinking 3-4 babies per day. Idk how he can keep up with supply tbh...
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My brain doesn't work and I'm in charge of a lot of stuff
---a guy from a place where things are Fine
Look I'm just gonna say we should move the senate to alaska and see if anyone retires.
I support this, but we'll also need to make attendance actually mandatory for the plan to work
Don't do us Alaskans like that 😭
“Over my cold dead body” McConnell declared… probably
He did, it just took him 4 minutes of dead air to get the sentence out
Glitch McConnell, it’s time to gtfo.
He might as well, its not like he's in charge of what he says anyway. They could hang his dead body from a gantry and flap his mouth with a string, it would be effectively the same result.
Someone gonna tell him that's not likely or nah?
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