Ask Lemmy

Everyone picks up a new random hobby every few months, spirals into self hatred about not being amazing at it with no practice or research, and adds another box of crap to the closet.

I guess everyone is a lefty now.

The right way to hold wasd while gaming is now the same as when typing. It's objectively worse but I can't change now.

Okay let's say it

Everyone has to work at least a day as a front facing customer service.

ALL public officers elected or not are now chosen by sortition. That's right baby, we are bringing Athenian democracy back. At least for a while

People can now express without fear of offending others as now they have self awareness to know that others can also think different as them (the P zombies will appreciate this one)

FF 20 years

The whole of humanity is now shareholder of a giant corporation managing the full resources of the Earth-Moon system

As a shareholder, everyone is taken care off, and basic needs are always available. You have been now guaranteed your needs for life, opening up for you to enjoy your freedom.

We start developing a solar collector array using Mercury as a resource stockpile

FF 30 years, we have finished the solar array. The Dyson sphere goes online. We spread during the next 6 hours a salvo of about 200 million self replicating probes through the interstellar space of our Galaxy and beyond it

These probes have everything needed to jump start the process again in other solar systems

If we are lucky, we might have our vector states inside those probes so we will have achieved functional immortality

All you authors, columnists, and other motherfuckers not using the Oxford comma are now in big trouble.

Toilet paper forever more goes under. Suck it.

Petty and minor, huh?

• Dates are now YYYY-MM-DD (2025-02-25) for the short form, and dddd, YYYY mmmm DD (Tuesday, 2025 February 25) for the long form.

• Time is now written in 24-hour notation (14:44:41)

• The first paragraph in a section doesn't have indentation, but all succeeding paragraphs do. For example:

  Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.  Vestibulum quis velit aliquet, accumsan eros id, tincidunt lorem.  Integer ac arcu elit.  Sed efficitur mi vitae viverra egestas.  Quisque sed varius nisi.  Vestibulum in cursus diam.  Ut pharetra quis nibh at semper.  Integer dictum leo eu velit condimentum, a varius mi tempor.  Sed at nunc lacinia, consequat eros sed, fringilla quam.  Proin pulvinar ante ac ipsum suscipit dictum.  In libero augue, tristique iaculis libero in, bibendum eleifend massa.  Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas.  Suspendisse a risus non lacus pellentesque molestie congue non risus.  Quisque ut condimentum dui.
  
      Aenean dictum leo at commodo accumsan.  Vestibulum ullamcorper diam et arcu bibendum maximus.  Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.  Suspendisse porta libero sed nisi aliquam volutpat.  Nam rutrum, odio quis ultricies blandit, elit metus pulvinar diam, non condimentum tellus arcu sed eros.  Praesent nunc tellus, aliquam vitae leo sed, pellentesque placerat ex.  Aenean tincidunt libero magna, sed sagittis neque facilisis id.  Vivamus quis lectus nunc.
  
      Donec lacinia, dolor sed eleifend volutpat, massa dui elementum risus, congue sagittis tortor sem sed neque.  Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas.  Pellentesque tempor risus arcu, a dapibus risus tristique in.  Ut sapien est, placerat ac lectus non, scelerisque feugiat nisi.  Nam nec luctus nibh.  Aenean id ultrices risus.  Phasellus magna enim, sodales sit amet nisi id, interdum interdum neque.  Sed scelerisque scelerisque lobortis.
  

• There are two spaces after a full stop, except when occurring at the end of a paragraph where there should be none.

• They will be used as a generic non-gendered pronoun and will be the default along with one. For example:

  • “Someone sent me an e-mail, but I am not sure they meant to send it to me.”
  • “Really, one should make sure the e-mail address is correct before sending an e-mail.”

• Functions that are called in other functions will be declared before any function that calls them.

• Functions should be around twenty lines long, and at most have three levels of nesting. Functions that are too long or have too much nesting should be revised and broken up into two or more functions.

• Code indentation (tabs) should be set to four spaces.

• Code will be formatted as follows.

  function (params) {
      // code
      }
  

EDIT:

Formatting

Ranch's a condiment , not salad dressing

1. We eating chips and popcorn with chopsticks now.

You're welcome for cleaner fingers and everything you touch with them.

2. Beer ain't getting served without some sorta pickle.

3. Pets will be told about foods, walks, and treats in a foreign language as to prevent them getting excited about things they love during normal conversations

4. More ducks than chickens. Duck eggs are better, duck meat is better, duck fat is better than schmaltz

5. It's now so wildly normal for men to wear crop tops

You're fucking welcome

6. You're getting paid for your commute time now. Your employer is covering tolls, transit passes etc.

I'll go for a serious answer.

When driving, particularly on freeways and highways, everyone must now leave a lot of space between them and the car ahead proportional to how fast they are going - even in heavy traffic. And they must allow a car that is signalling properly to merge into their lane. (But not like a bunch of cars at a time of course)

Everyone must also start to decelerate as soon as they see brake lights ahead or notice slowing, but they have more space (starting further back in the road), so won't have to decelerate as strongly as the car ahead is and will reach a higher minimum speed or be stopped for less time when the car ahead starts accelerating again.

I believe this would mostly end stop-and-go traffic and smooth out all slow traffic (increasing fuel economy and reducing stress) by reducing/eliminating traffic waves. Probably even increase average speeds (but I'm less sure about that)

there is no more light mode for anything at all

Everyone is frugal and likes (or is okay with) nitpicky, complicated things like PoE skill trees, taxes, and investing.

Everyone must now put off literally EVERYTHING until the very last minute.

Your way is now the right way.

My way was always the right way!

Everyone hates “normies” and likes drawing

Turn on your turn indicator, take a few seconds to check that the lane is clear, then proceed

Turn it off and on again before asking someone for help

Look up the word in the dictionary instead of just assuming you know what it means from context and usage

GOOD FUCKING BYE, JAVASCRIPT AND HTML!!!!

Shine on, Gemini!

Toilet paper only goes on horizontal rollers with the flap facing down in the front of the roll. No more feeling the back of the roll to find the loose end.

The proper spelling is indeed Rebekah. Also, chili is eaten over rice or mashed potatoes and always has beans. All cats have an infinite amount of names, none of which they respond to and most of which are very situational.

TV series now have 25 episodes a season.

Five season minimum.

All TV series are released on physical disc after one year (the creator of the show can choose a smaller amount of time if they want, but never longer). After one year it MUST BE on disc.

Blu-ray Disc at a minimum. Can choose 4k if the creator of the show wants. Can do both.

Federal penalties if the show is cancelled early.

Next

All devices that require an always on connection, must have a patch to allow the device to work if the server is ever pulled offline.

Subscription based services must provide an actual benefit. Not a “well the company wants more money so they’re just going to create a subscription service”… looking at the companies that make heated steering wheels in cars subscription based.