Ask Lemmy

The man sitting next to Ford was a bit sozzled by now. His eyes weaved their way up to Ford.
'I thought,’ he said ‘that if the world was going to end we were meant to lie down or put a paper bag over our head or something.’
‘If you like, yes,’ said Ford. ‘That’s what they told us in the army,’ said the man, and his eyes began the long trek back towards his whisky. ‘Will that help?’ asked the barman. ‘No,’ said Ford and gave him a friendly smile.

Nothing. Everyone is going to get the same alert and freak the fuck out, clogging all the roads, making it impossible to get to a shelter.

I have 2 choices:

1. Center of my cinderblock house and hope for the best.

2. Submerged in the hot tub and hope for the best.

Kiss my wife, and my ass goodbye. There are no shelters here.

My wife's cousin actually got this text while on vacation in Hawaii. Said he just sparked up a joint n hoped for the best. It worked, so maybe I'll do the same.

Hope I get obliterated by a direct hit

Just another Tuesday for me

Update: oh hey, there's one right now

I would invite everyone to my bomb shelter.

I live with my mom and my wife 40 mins from the vancouver city centre… Honestly I’d probably go sit with my wife, kiss them ‘n hope for the best.

Also sobbing, that too. Can’t forget that.

I would know it's fake because nobody is nuking our small country.

My phone is usually dead, misplaced, or the volume is at 0%. So I would probably crack a beer and stand on the porch wondering why the neighbors are freaking out.

I'll dodge.

I would not believe that message, because real warnings would not be that specific around here, and they also would never add that funny phrase " this is not a drill"

(Actual drills outside of the military are announced at least several days in advance, if they expect people to cooperate)

Wank

Put on Tom Lehrer's We Will All Go Together When We Go

Meh, I'm in Scotland and the nearest even vaguely major city is 30 miles away, they could be setting off tsar bombas and I'd be fine from the several km of solid rock from various winding hills between me and the blast, probably wouldn't even feel much of a pressure wave. Probably just start filling every container I can find with clean water.

Assuming it's nuclear, sit around and mourn the fact I don't have a basement. Hope that either A: missle defence works, or B: I'm in the evaporation zone. Radiation sickness sounds awful.

Even if the explosion and fallout completely missed my area, I think EMP disruption would be a huge issue and lots of people would be panicking, stealing, murdering trying to survive.

I live near a strategic asset. I bend over and kiss my ass good bye because the good roads out of town just got super clogged.

Maybe get the good bottle out and hope the ABM stuff actually works this decade.

I go outside with arms open wide, saying "it's about time".

There's nothing to do.

I'm all prepared to host a NYE party so would probably be like the This is the End frat pack movie.

I've got one hell of a cold right now. I'd welcome the sweet relief.

Ha we don't have text alerts in my country! I would die happy and ignorant in my pretty toilet

• I would text my housemate my location and where I planned to shelter.
• if i was at home I would go to the lowest floor in the middle of the house away from the windows. in my current place, I think I'd be in the ground-floor bathroom, so I'd also fill any available containers with tap water while I still could
• I'd follow the news online as long as I could, switching to my radio if/when necessary
• see web pages like this for more tips: https://www.ready.gov/ especially: http://www.ready.gov/sites/default/files/2021-11/are-you-ready-guide.pdf

Hopefully it's a nice day so I could go outside and lay down in the grass or climb a tree to chill and completely relax.