this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] werefreeatlast 111 points 6 days ago (6 children)

Look, if Elon got run over by a Tesla, everyone would be laughing it off right now. If putin got smashed between a large truck and another large truck or by some other means like a large steel plate, everyone would be more than ecstatic. I would do a little dance myself. So I think we should just not try to figure out who did this too hard. It just happens sometimes. Right?

Cuz nobody figures out who denied your claim when your dad had to die right? Where's the justice there? This is it! This is the justice. Don't want it? Well then implement a better way to get justice. As, is, this is great.

[–] Etterra 39 points 6 days ago

Hey gun crime is just a reality we have to live with, according to the Republicans in Congress. So I don't see any reason to make a big fuss just because this rich bastard accidentally feel into some bullets, instead of the usual bunch of innocent children or random black person the cops decided to shoot while face down and in handcuffs. No, I'm sure the police have much more serious police matters to attend to, like civil forfeiture on somebody carrying a large amount of cash or selling appropriated weapons to drug cartels.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (4 children)

If somehow Trump died because of a stupid mistake on his part I'd take the rest of the week off and dance like it's THON

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[–] kreskin 10 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Look, if Elon got run over by a Tesla, everyone would be laughing it off right now.

I think he should have demonstrated the use of that metal tube he wanted to use as a rescue sub to rescue those kids in the thai cave. Best way to demonstrate its safe is to go into it yourself.

Or he could use a pseudonym and work remote from one of the companies he owns and see how long he lasts as a worker. He thinks he can judge other peoples code? lets see his medicore bitchass show up and show us all how its done.

That guy sucks.

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[–] Rooty 106 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

People got so hung up on cool cyberware and Johnny Silverhand that they completely forgot Cyberpunk was a warning.

[–] Duamerthrax 49 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 days ago (1 children)

who wouldn't want to have e-narrator Keanu in their mind sarcastically commenting their every move ? I've already preordered

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Look Mom, I'm on the top of Arasaka tower.

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[–] RangerJosie 62 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm out of the loop. Please, explain.

[–] RangerJosie 33 points 6 days ago (1 children)

American hero, Agent 47/John Wick/etc, shot the CEO of United Healthcare and killed him at 7am in front of the Hilton Hotel in Manhattan.

He had "Deny, Defend, Depose" carved into the shell casings of the spent cartridges he used to kill the parasite.

He then rode away on an E-Bike and hasn't been seen since.

[–] AutistoMephisto 23 points 6 days ago (2 children)

As an aside, another proposed moniker for this hero is "Lancelot", as he has clearly slain a dragon. Three cheers for the Dragonslayer!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Don't insult dragons by comparing them to a fuckin health insurance exec!

[–] AutistoMephisto 6 points 5 days ago

I'm speaking, of course, of greedy, wealth hoarding dragons like Smaug. Who would slaughter an entire mountain of Dwarves to get his claws on wealth he will never spend, just to have it.

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[–] BonesOfTheMoon 51 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Copayback. I've never smiled as much as I have today. Random Shooter can have anything he wants or needs from me, an alibi, a bike rental, a kidney.

[–] Fedizen 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Tying a gift card to a balloon and writing a note to go with it "God bless the CEO slayer"

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[–] problematicPanther 63 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

born too early to fight in the post-apocalypse wasteland, born too late to fight in the pre-apocalypse waste land, born just in time to fight billionaires in the peri-apocalyptic wasteland.

[–] chiliedogg 16 points 6 days ago

Of the 3 scenarios, this is the only one that lets me focus my rage on people who deserve it.

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[–] MapleEngineer 61 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Perhaps the 9mm pistol is the guillotine of the next American revolution.

[–] Luvs2Spuj 49 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You've said this on so many posts I'm struggling to keep track of which ones I've seen before. It's not a criticism, just saying you're messing with my melon maaaan.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 days ago

Wow, you weren't kidding. I wish I had that much confidence in my comments

[–] MapleEngineer 13 points 6 days ago

Sorry. I hope your melon has recovered.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 6 days ago (7 children)

but wait, it gets even more cyberpunk: the security cam footage is on streamable! :o https://streamable.com/2e8p4v

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There was that meme about things we are bringing back in the 2020s from the 1920s, that included anarcho-syndicalism.

I guess that was a miscalculation, we are actually bringing back even earlier forms of anarchism. 💣

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 6 days ago (6 children)

Now let's add a bit of Ghost in the Shell where the shooter is invisible because no one has organic eyes anymore.... And he has an electronic scrambling technology

[–] mhague 23 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You forgot the funniest part from the movie: when the man was hacked into believing he had a wonderful life with a wife and daughter, when he was really just living in a tiny shitty apartment. Completely broke his mind lmao

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[–] Snapz 47 points 6 days ago

...so far.

Hey dental insurance CEO, are you thinking twice this morning about signing off on that press release where you're going to start denying all of Grandma's dental claims if you you're software finds any evidence of her smiling on social media... Smiling being user-initiated routine wear and tear on teeth that shareholders demand no longer be covered by default.

Think twice this morning, my Lord...

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 12 points 5 days ago

My very large sample of Facebook posts from people who had their claims denied by United Healthcare I made today.

https://imgur.com/a/yczbSDa

[–] FinishingDutch 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Wake the fuck up, samurai. We’ve got a CEO to ventilate.

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[–] GladiusB 15 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Was he catching the casings? Like I'm confused why he kept cocking it or reaching on the top?

[–] MutilationWave 29 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The silencer and possibly the subsonic ammo caused it to jam so he had to keep racking it to fire. He left three casings from the shots and three live rounds on the ground from the jamming.

[–] problematicPanther 18 points 6 days ago

and this, kids, is why you don't want to own a Taurus for self defense.

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