this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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[–] rickdg 180 points 4 months ago (5 children)
[–] Zerlyna 94 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I’m up. Couch fucker gotta go.

[–] dogsnest 30 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Dolphin porn couch fucker.

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[–] homesweethomeMrL 46 points 4 months ago (5 children)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 14 points 4 months ago

If Harris wins it would be super cool to have the crowd be full of pussy hats

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[–] Plopp 12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'll transition and get a cat to join in.

[–] Klear 10 points 4 months ago

I don't think you need to be a woman to be a cat lady. It's a state of mind.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Already got the cats, myself. I'm halfway there.

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Couch fucker and dolphin lover JD Vance sure is creepy and weird.

[–] MermaidsGarden 51 points 4 months ago (2 children)

It’s crazy that people think JD Vance had sex with a couch. There’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch. It’s liberals that are perpetuating the idea that JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance has specifically denied that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within a 5 year period. It’s ludicrous that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after having intercourse with a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance is not a couchfucker.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

You misunderstand the game here.

I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch.

That’s true

JD Vance is not a couchfucker.

No amount of fact checking can ever prove that conclusively. You can’t really prove a negative.

So… JD VANCE, COUCHFUCKER EXTRAORDINAIRE

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Their comment is extremely sarcastic. I think they understand that game.

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[–] FuglyDuck 39 points 4 months ago (4 children)

of course he'd hang with dolphins. They're rapey bastards.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Can a couch give informed consent?

[–] dohpaz42 16 points 4 months ago

Was the couch old enough for the age of consent?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Of course Vance didn't have sex with a couch!

He raped a couch

[–] FuglyDuck 10 points 4 months ago

I dunno. But I'm guessing they wouldn't if they could.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Did JD Vance rape and murder a couch in 1990?

[–] ganksy 32 points 4 months ago

We're just asking questions here

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[–] homesweethomeMrL 88 points 4 months ago (2 children)

On May 19, 1992, during a crucial part of the presidential campaign, Vice President Dan Quayle delivered a speech on family values that came to define him nearly as much as his famous “potato” gaffe. During the speech, he criticized Murphy Brown a fictional 40-something, divorced news anchor on a popular situation comedy   for her choice to have a child outside of marriage. Quayle argued: “Bearing babies irresponsibly is simply wrong.

Same Shit Different Decade

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And then the show worked it into the script. Wooha mofos.

[–] Got_Bent 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So I just went and revisited that whole thing. I remember it vaguely, but not any details.

The gist was that Murphy was deciding whether to have the baby or abort it and the Republican vice president says she's terrible for having it because she's not married.

Of course, I guess the intent was that she was supposed to marry whoever got her pregnant, but it presents as she should have aborted it. Interesting in today's forced birth environment.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Of course, I guess the intent was that she was supposed to marry whoever got her pregnant

I think it's worse with some of these nutjobs. They'd say you shouldn't be sleeping with someone you aren't married to, it's the extra level of "irresponsibility" they want to slander you with as well. Unmarried and promiscuous...

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

an emmy-nominated episode, at that. (for directing, peter bonerz)

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Ew.

Taken out of context, the phrase almost sounds like it could be used to argue for education, contraception, and healthcare access, not whatever grossness he's actually meaning in context.

I agree it should only be done responsibly, which is why I'm in favor of people have the information and tools to ensure it only happens when they're prepared and able to do so.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Hear that, mothers and fathers of America? JD Vance says that you were worthless until you had children. JD Vance says that your children who aren't parents are worthless.

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[–] Nobody 41 points 4 months ago (1 children)

JD Vance’s 4chan tripcode will be discovered one day, and we’ll find out exactly how far down the rabbit hole goes.

[–] Duamerthrax 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Feels like the type to have joined after moot left.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Lmao, I might be a childless cat lady, but at least I'm not a miserable bigot with an insatiable lust for upholstered furniture.

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[–] dohpaz42 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:

https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/

Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”

[–] FlyingSquid 27 points 4 months ago

Keep going, Vance. Pissing off America's women worked out really well for Dan Quayle.

[–] someguy3 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

You could have tried to explain your way out of the 2021 comment. But nope he just goes head long into it.

I hope we get Mark Kelly as VP now, a fucking astronaut against this clown would be the greatest juxtaposition ever.

[–] robocall 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What about childless cat men?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

I see he's working overtime to convince Daddy not to drop him.

[–] donnager 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Even if you raise taxes on people without kids, it will still be cheaper than having kids. Saying that childless people have no stake in the country and maybe their voice should be worth less is wild. But can’t say I am surprised since shit is always flowing out of their mouths.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Taxes are already higher for people without kids. That's literally the point of the child tax credit.

[–] eran_morad 15 points 4 months ago

I really hope they keep this up. Harris has really mindfucked these idiots.

[–] timewarp 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Keep it Republicans. Can't wait for Republican men to complain to their wives about the possibility of a woman becoming President, especially a black woman. Their hate will turn into their spouses rebelling against them.

[–] dohpaz42 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Doubtful. Keep in mind, a woman who marries a guy likely has the same (or very similar) beliefs.

And there are women out there who believe what people like Vance are preaching - I’ve seen them on dating apps. They’re looking for strong alphas who can dominate them (and I don’t mean like how Vance dominates his couches).

[–] Valmond 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't know what to do with this information but 'couches' is diapers in French.

🤷🏻

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Someone made up a rumor that Vance wrote about fucking a couch in his memoir and it took off as a thing and now people are repeating it as if it's true and I'm fine with that for once.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

This feels misleading.

Vance made it clear, said Aaron Fritschner, deputy chief of staff for Rep. Don Beyer (D-Va.), "that he meant no disrespect to cats, but he did mean to demean women and still holds the view in 2024 that they should be punished for not having children."

So the actual quote here is from a chief of staff of a Democratic representative, not from dolphin-loving couch-loving JD Vance. So it’s an accusation that interprets for us. And the tweet the article cites heavily edits the text it quotes:

"Obviously it was a sarcastic comment. I’ve got nothing against cats. ... People are focusing so much on the sarcasm and not on the substance … and the substance of what I said, Megyn — I’m sorry, it is true."

Heres a video of the clip without the editing: https://therecount.com/watch/obviously-it-was-a-sarcastic/2645895762

Ok, so the edits here at least aren’t misleading..

Then based on the 9 minute clip of her show in the original article, it seems like he’s claiming the substance is not about the cat lady comment, but some lies about what Democrats believe about families (democrats think kids are for the economy, republicans want to make it easier for women to stay in the workforce (I mean, is there a more blatant lie than that? They’re the ones who fight against extending COVID-era childcare credits!), etc). That’s what says he’s doubling down on. And given the context that does truly seem to be the lies he’s doubling down on.

Let’s try to stick to sincere, defensible attacks against people for whom there are many valid attacks, and not spread misleading claims that JD is doubling down on “crazy cat ladies”. He’s shit and we can demonstrate that in good faith, or we can lie like he does.

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[–] cosmicrookie 11 points 4 months ago

What a sh*t title. He did not double down on the attack. He regretted getting cat-keeping involved in his bigoted view on women with no children

[–] xenomor 10 points 4 months ago

Regarding the plan to give parents more voting power by assigning them an extra vote for each of their children, which parent gets to cast those extra votes? If I have three kids, do I get to cast four votes, or do they get split between me and my wife? Somehow I doubt he is suggesting that mothers get all this extra voting power, right? I’m sure the couch fucker believes that it’s a husband’s duty to officiate these extra votes for his family. Actually, I’m sure he thinks a husband should preside over his wife’s vote as well.

[–] Etterra 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Maybe we should get a betting pool going as to who is the least charismatic Republican ghoul. Vance seems to have a good chance to overshoot Ted Cruz, seeing as Cruz at least managed to convince somebody to marry him at some point, and have sex enough to produce offspring.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I wonder whether that demo swings right or left?

Feels hard to stereotype properly.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

I think it would lean more left, seeing as they are, childless (so probably favor birthcontrol, pro-choice) and ladies.

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