this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 181 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker

[–] [email protected] 109 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I'll give you an errection in front of the HR manager."

Or worse

"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you'll never get an errection again.*

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Even worse

"You are now on a per-boner subscription plan"

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[–] MeatPilot 24 points 1 week ago

Future kink

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[–] [email protected] 112 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

After you get snipped, it's potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.

Edit: sorry for facts on shit post

[–] ReputedlyDeplorable 61 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yes here is an article about it. Article

The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”

[–] Tangent5280 65 points 1 week ago (9 children)

30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.

[–] billiam0202 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yep. For anyone who's that serious about not having children, that's more like an incentive.

Source: got snipped.

[–] clif 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then "ejaculate as frequently as possible" before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.

Doctor's orders! 🫡

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[–] GroundedGator 19 points 1 week ago (6 children)

This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.

People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn't think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There’s a big difference between this and getting snipped. The difference is, like, vast. It’s a vast difference.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

More of a vas deferens I think

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 week ago

Yes, indeed, you said the funny part aloud.

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[–] merari42 62 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This, but I want the voice command changed to "Go go gadget genitalia"

[–] rob_t_firefly 26 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'd just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I discovered this amazing life hack. If you never talk to women, you'll never have sex with one and then you'll never have kids.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I discovered a life hack to have sex without such a tool without getting anyone pregnant....

🏳️‍🌈

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 week ago (4 children)

i like how each tube has an individual switch. for when you only want some cum

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago

Its so you can decide if its gonna be a boy or a girl

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago (3 children)

So a toggleable vasectomy.

Trouble is you need a several days (maybe a week or more) and/or a few ejaculations to actually be sterile after a vasectomy... So this isn't the kind of thing that you can flip on in the moment and you're safe.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

I'd imagine most men would only need to actually use the switch twice in their lives anyways. So having to wait a couple weeks wouldn't be too bad.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Better to keep it off until you and your wife are trying for a kid than keep it on and flip it off for saf(er) sex. Why keep your cum on while you're just walking around?

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[–] iAvicenna 49 points 1 week ago (1 children)

wait till this comes with a monthly subscription

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hang on one second babe…

(clap-clap)

[–] peopleproblems 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Things you don't want tied to a clapper may include this device.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee

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[–] kokesh 43 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Hey, Google, I'm having sex!"

Google turns down the lights and turns on the balls.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I don't want a kill-switch. I want a turbo-button to slice metal sheets with a jet of cum.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago

I'd just forget which one is on and which one is off. Also I have zero need for the on setting.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Forget the Codom and Get STIs

[–] Wilzax 28 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Bro forgot about committed and closed relationships

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Just redirect my urethra and install a single Y-Valve. Flip the switch up and I cum out the tip, flip the switch down and I cum out my taint.

Ultimate pull-out method.

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[–] IzzyScissor 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?

Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Flip them on and off repeatedly to put them in pairing mode.

[–] IzzyScissor 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"FUCK, I came for longer than 5 seconds. Now I have to go through the factory reset AGAIN."

[–] chiliedogg 16 points 1 week ago

"You've turned on sticky keys."

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[–] Thcdenton 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

click

Before continuing, please accept the following terms and conditions.... [35 pages of legalese ensue]

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hook it up to a clapper and live life dangerously.

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[–] enbyecho 18 points 1 week ago

Wait won't this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?

[–] MeatPilot 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.

https://www.planaformen.com/

Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

An even better birth control is Arch Linux. It's free and open source. I use Arch btw.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is the real reason Data doesn't tell everyone where his off switch is.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I guarantee you the same people working to ban abortion and female contraception will go after this too.

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