Pills (Take Two) (lemmy.zip)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/lemmyshitpost
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[-] BugleFingers 94 points 3 weeks ago

Grab the "2 random pills" and the "duplicate anything you own once" pill. Duplicate the "2 random pills" pill with the duplicate pill and eat both "2 random pills" pill and have 4 absolutely random abilities.

Hopefully it's pure chaos

[-] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

“2 random pills” and shoebox pill. Take the shoebox pill, get a shoebox filled with the 2 random pills (since you got one they became “real”). Grab a big handful of pills and swallow.

Others (in case you don’t want to collapse civilization or piss gasoline):

  • Shoebox + any question = practically unlimited questions. Plus the first one should be something like “how can I achieve maximum happiness (in an easy way where current me would be comfortable with the results)?” and you can ask variations to get a clearer answer since you have practically unlimited ones. Only drawback is if “single-use” really means the duplicates don’t do anything.

  • Shoebox + groundhog day = probably get to live >10000 years (unless “single-use” prevents that)

  • Shoebox + pi money = practically unlimited money, no “single use” issue

  • Shoebox + kill one person = Death Note

[-] barsquid 20 points 3 weeks ago

Shoebox glitch is way overpowered, nice one.

[-] Verqix 6 points 3 weeks ago

Shoebox is a nice idea, but now I'm wondering how big the pills would be...

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[-] heartpatcher 9 points 3 weeks ago

I threw a dice and got:

  • your left pocket is constantly full of coarse sand
  • chocolate has all the vitamins and minerals you need to live
  • grass points to you
  • teleport to the closest beach at any time
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[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

based binding of Isaac player

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[-] ForgottenUsername 66 points 3 weeks ago

Who thought pale yellow was the right colour, to use on a white background?

[-] samus12345 23 points 3 weeks ago

"All Mountain Dew is free at stores for you"

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[-] [email protected] 53 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Resol 10 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you. Now I can actually read some of them.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

The others not anymore though.

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[-] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago

Take showbox pill, order box full of all pill on picture. Take duplicate pill.

Duplicate shoebox. Take duplicate pill from shoebox. Repeat until satisfied.

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[-] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I am gonna be real with you guys

  • get 10% more sleep per sleep


  • both nostrils always work

Is this what getting older does to me?

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[-] capt_wolf 21 points 3 weeks ago

I'll take the shoebox(full of perfect diamonds, thanks xkcd!) and just for fun, the almost 10k calories of cheese for added wealth, opulence, and because I really love cheese. Some cheeses are worth hundreds of dollars a pound.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

High-quality diamonds are expensive, but it's hard to get a handle on their exact price because ~~the entire industry was built on a scam~~ the gemstone market is complicated.

Nice one!

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[-] Postmortal_Pop 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So I did the napkin math, if you pick two random pills and two random pills, there's a 19.05% chance to get something objectively bad, a 28.57% chance of getting something useless, and a 52.38% chance of getting something objectively good for a total 80.95% chance to get something not bad. Assuming infinite loops are banned and you don't have a genuine interest in a given pill, 4 random pills is the best call.

There's also a 2.27% chance of getting 2 random pills on each of those 4 tries.

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[-] Noodle07 17 points 3 weeks ago

I'm taking the collapse civilisation, twice

[-] merari42 22 points 3 weeks ago

You caused a civilization underflow. The world is now almost maximally civilized.

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

get π million dollars and get +3 on all charm. This would actually help me dramatically.

[-] BleakBluets 6 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the "groundhogs day" power, but couldn't you spend a year tracking winning lottery numbers, bets, and/or stocks and then "loop" that year and act on that knowledge in the repeat year? Then you would also essentially get +1 year of life and way more than $π million. I would also use the first loop to take medical tests of my health as much as possible since it wouldn't matter if I went into debt in the first loop.

I guess the downside would be that any progress you've made on personal goals would have to be redone. Or maybe you don't get to decide the starting point of when you would loop back to. Or just my luck, there would be some butterfly-effect shit and I would end up worse off in the repeat loop because my investments would have failed.

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[-] Klear 14 points 3 weeks ago

I don't feel like reading all that. I'll take the black one twice. Let's see...

  1. Change amount of fingers at any time
  2. Hear plants talk by looking at them
  3. Chocolate has all vitamins and minerals I need
  4. Urinate gasoline

I think I can live with that. If the plants get too noisy, I can always piss on them and light them on fire.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Your average shoebox is 35X23.5X13.5 cm, or 11103.75 cubic centimeters. The density of gold is 19.3 g/cm^3. You can fit 11103.75X19.3 = 214302 grams of gold in a shoebox. One gram of gold right now is $77.78 US. That's 214302X77.78 = over 16.5 million US. There are things significantly more valuable (but not more fungible) than gold, too. The Pi million pill is completely moot. Or just take both, I guess.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

No, get the gold and the pill that doubles something you own. The pi million is completely moot.

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

The shoebox full of gold would be worth around $12M at current prices.

(First Google result for size of a shoebox: https://store.usps.com/store/product/shipping-supplies/priority-mail-shoe-box-P_0_SHOEBOX

I just rounded down the measurements for a quick and dirty estimate of the internal volume.)

The downside is that would be 341 pounds of gold so maybe specify for it to be in bars instead of a solid block.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago
  • Teleporting Dr. Pepper can, so I can off tyrants, right wing nuts and dictators every 14.5h by summoning them inside their heads.

  • Not getting cancer sounds cool too

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

If you can control any Milliliter of water, you can easily shred up people's brains.

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[-] samus12345 11 points 3 weeks ago

The 3 million dollar one and immunity to cancer.

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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 10 points 3 weeks ago

Immune to venom and urinate gasoline. When I tell my doctor it burns when I pee, I want to mean it. Also, I figure something like that would send spiderman after me.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

I'll take the shoebox filled with these pills. They have to be real, because I couldn't get my box without them.

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[-] hperrin 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

The course sand pocket would be pretty great. Unlimited free sand. I could run an empire.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

I'll take the strawberry flavored one because I like strawberry. Then I'll get the shoebox, and completely fill it with the pill that gives you $3,414,592.65. Then I'd throw a bunch of them in a blender and make a little smoothie that will make me a billionaire. There's probably enough pills to do that a couple of times.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Wonder if those pills are considered part of "anything real"

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Death Note at home: Summon Dr pepper can anywhere every 14.5 hours, summon them directly into the brains of my enemies.

Both nostrils work all the time: I'd take this twice if it meant it worked twice as good.

[-] db2 9 points 3 weeks ago

Control a single milliliter of water. That one effectively gives me like 85% of the others.. water molecule nanobots.

Then I guess the money one so I'm not rushed.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I'll take the money and kill a person

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I'll take two shoeboxes filled with gold. With a size of 35x25x13cm it'll be 11,375cm³ which can contain 219.77kg of gold worth €15,519,086. That's €31,038,172 for two shoeboxes. I think I'll be able to make a good early retirement on that.

[-] remer 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Man you should check out how much rhodium is worth…

Edit: and Polonium-209

[-] Etterra 8 points 3 weeks ago

I'll just hop on down to the Cash for Rhodium store and offload that then I guess.

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[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart 8 points 3 weeks ago

3.14 million and the answer to the question of the best stock to invest in for a 5 year return.

[-] eager_eagle 7 points 3 weeks ago

or you can get billions by asking for a shoebox with the hardware wallet of a high profile bitcoin whale and still have a second pill.

[-] ingeniosissimo 8 points 3 weeks ago

Or maybe ask for the shoe box to be full of a block of pure gold? Probably easier to sell and should have a value of about $18M.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Immune to Cancer and Grapes.

The grapes are basically free income if I can just plant them half-assed and they always turn out. There is even the implication that they don't need fertilizer or other associated costs.

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[-] AeonFelis 7 points 3 weeks ago

control body temperature

My own body, or any body I want? And how liberally can I use the word "body" here? Do bodies of water count? How about celestial bodies?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly? I don't even know if the wacky shit is necessary. The money pill and the 10% extra rest per sleep is just fine by me.

[-] problematicPanther 7 points 3 weeks ago

groundhog day. I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can and I need a break from work.

[-] eager_eagle 6 points 3 weeks ago


"strawberry flavor" and "tastes good"

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Shoebox filled with ketamine... and then a shoebox filled with ketamine.

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this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
250 points (92.8% liked)

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