friends, I went to see this motherfucker perform this album live on tour.
this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
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People say the only regrets in life are things you don't do... Then there's this.
I'm sorry.
thank you. the encore was Wild Thing which you can replicate at home by varnishing a plank of wood and drawing a face on it, then grunting.
Should you then hit yourself in the face with that plank to make it similar to the experience of having to listen to it?
This is the funniest thing I have read all year. Still chortling at the thought. Thank you.
what a life experience
But…why?
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Context: In addition to all the other lies he's told about his mythology (CIA asset, martial arts trained, whatever), he's also 120% Jamaican. If you add that up with all his other bogus claims about racial heritage, the man is over 1000% human. So of course he's able to do almost anything and super cool. Plus he shot a dog on that show where he played law enforcement, which is about the coolest thing anyone's done.
He's basically a god.
Plus he shot a dog on that show where he played law enforcement.
A+ vice-presidential material right there.
Delete this. Everyone who read it: drink to forget. Captain's orders.
Aye aye, Captain! 🫡
You forgot the parts where he drove an APC through the wrong guy's house, and also the part about the sex slave that escaped from his house.
Yeah it's almost like he is... An actor.
And was a dancer. And was a competitive diver. And was a fence~~r~~ (the stolen goods kind).
To your point, he honestly made me appreciate how actors have lives outside of the set.
They just call it a fence in that role. Gotta find a fence for these stereos.
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The fact that it happened more than one time makes it so much funnier
Makes it a job.
It does, but it also kind of hurts his tough guy image.
The lesson is to not associate actors with the roles they play.
Best acting I’ve seen him do.
This is amazing. Thank you.
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Me want da punani see for make me nice,
Me love the way you walk sometimes,
The way you talk is so hot,
Now you know let's have a shot of rum,
Then me can make you come
With me to the ocean
That would be phat
You can be my bow cat
Nice ital breeze
Bring you to your knees
We're jammin'
Without looking up the lyrics, i cannot tell if you're making this up or these are the actual ones.
When the girls start to strut
You could look at their butt
You shouldn't do that
The gyal dress is just as pretty
Not just there to cover her kitty
Now go have a look at Chet Hanks (the spawn of Tim Hanks) many interviews in a Patois accent.
I don’t even know how I feel about things like this either. On the one hand it’s pretty cringe, but on the other can you imagine growing up with Tom Hanks as your dad, it’s a tough act to follow and it must be hard to find yourself.
Well, his other son seems to be doing fine
Is that you making some kind of point?
Nature and nurture I guess.
My siblings and I couldn’t be more different and we all came from the same place. Like we differ in every metric you could conceive of.
Whoa. How many toes do they have?
More than me, my parents had a strange kind of capital punishment. /s
I don't know if being known as a white rapper who is at the most generous interpretation doing cultural appropriation is really doing much of a follow-up to your dad.
I mean I realize that Jaden Smith is a weirdo with no talent, but at least he tried doing what his dad did before everyone made it clear that he shouldn't.
Hey, I never said I agree with his choices. Just that I can imagine it being difficult to leave the shadow of your parents.
Obligatory fuck Will Smith.
when the girls start to strut, and you look at her butt, you shouldn't do thaaat
I don’t think you meant it like this but I couldn’t help reading it in the cadence of “if you’re sliding into first and your pants are gonna burst, diarrhea” lol
I realize it's a fraction of a fraction of a cent we're talking about, but just on principle, is there a way to listen to this that doesn't end up in the pool of money that goes to Sagal?
For others with the same concern, here's a direct link to a version I just pirated for you
You are a gentleperson and a scholar.
Holy shit THAT was awful! Thank you for your service 🫡
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https://www.planetarygroup.com/do-artists-get-paid-every-time-song-played-spotify/
Spotify doesn't count it as a steam if you turn it off before 30 seconds
Good to know. Thanks!
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.
Did you restart your router in between and do you live alone? If not, your ip adress let's them identify you anyway if you don't use a vpn
Piracy
Yeah, but then I would have to make an effort. To hear Steven Seagal be racist in a shitty song. That's asking too much.
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Calling Jamaican English oder Patois an accent is a tiny bit derogatory, because it is its own language. It has its roots firmly in English, but it's not just "haha talk funny".
Not that Steven Seagull would care. Or should have tried to sing in Jamaican English. Or sing at all. Or do anything besides sit in prison forever.
I think in his case it's a patois. I don't think it's suggesting actual Jamaican English is.
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I needed this. Thank you
I am listening to this right now and holy shit.
It's not completely awful as I had assumed it would be. I mean the man can't act for shit, so I wouldn't have thought he could sing either. Especially in an accent.
No you're wrong, it's awful. The lady on the track is carrying the whole tune while Segal kinda just mumbles barely in key. But it's pretty on point for the Segal brand I suppose.
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