this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 months ago (4 children)

First of all: That's not how you play chess (left image).

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

The "error" is designed to boost engagement, which makes the post more visible on social media.
And it works.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It’s not how YOU play chess. 😂

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Chaos. 💣

This is merely a small step towards the heat death of the universe, but a big one from humanity.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

But it is a double checkmate, which is pretty rare.

[–] thesporkeffect 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Haven't you heard about Cheskers?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

That sounds like an extremely posh nickname.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

Do you have a vibrator in your butt?

[–] Wilzax 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

"you're getting mated"

[–] Deestan 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nuh-uh! You touched it, so now you have to follow through. We're playing tournament rules.

[–] FilthyShrooms 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ah, a fellow competitive sex enjoyer

[–] Deestan 7 points 3 months ago

My sexual ELO is listed in bold on my Tinder profile.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

“That move has left me wide open”

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago

"I see you've played the Frenchman's cumsock"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

“I’ll shove a bishop in my ass”

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

I'll be black this time.

[–] owenfromcanada 13 points 3 months ago

"This isn't my favorite starting position, but I'll see if I can maneuver things to get better leverage."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago
[–] owenfromcanada 11 points 3 months ago

"I normally do this by myself. It's nice to have a partner."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

That's exactly how I like my anal beads

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You can say anything you fucking want in either context.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

i'm going to grin and say checkmate the next time my bf and i

and i'm going to moan and say i'm cumming the next time i'm about to either beat someone or lose to someone in chess

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You could also say, for instance, "I believe the autumn's coming in late this year", and what's he going to do? Stop you?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

lol knowing my bf if i said something like that he'd say something like "actually i'm pretty sure winter's coming" before he does

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Homeboy is dick-deep making a detailed meteorological forecast, my man's got a mind like a steel trap

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

White knight takes black queen.

[–] Speculater 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Who can last five minutes in bed?! That's a ridiculously high standard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

It says 5 moves, which could average 10 seconds or less per move if it's speed ~~chess~~ sex, so a much more realistic standard.

[–] Deestan 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Excuse me, that is an illegal move.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

As long as it's not an illegal sex

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

That piece can't move that way!

[–] Viking_Hippie 5 points 3 months ago

"..shit, I forgot about the bishop"

"Wow, the king really IS useless! Good thing the queen is so versatile"

"Hey! No butt help!"

[–] hOrni 5 points 3 months ago

In Polish you can say, sometimes You're pushing a Queen, sometimes You're beating a horse, which are coloquialisms for having sex and masturbating.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

There's no way you came up with that move yourself, you're cheating!

Pretty by-the-book so far, let's get interesting.

That's not fast enough to get a promotion.

Go ahead, take me. See what happens.

[–] Deestan 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Complete silence except for the odd quietly muttered 'adjust', and the rhythmic sound of a c(l)ock being slapped.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

There's a lot of things you could say there, they would just result in your expulsion from the chess club.

[–] Deestan 3 points 3 months ago

Patience, please, while I consider my next move.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

"What I'm about to do is a pro-gamer move"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Nice breasts

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I like your tower move