FilthyShrooms

• setting Rowley's eyebrows on fire with a torch

Calvin's dad has some of the best jokes in all of Calvin and Hobbes

If I ever decide to have kids then I'm adopting because I can't in good conscience bring a life into this shitty world

The students calculated that the rocket accelerated to an astonishing 5,283 feet per second.

That's just over 1 mile per second, insane

It's a bit extreme, I just need one straight through my temples

It's smart until I instinctually scroll to the U section only to not find United States

Oh, just Paris?

That should be fine

She's hot, I love goth girls

If your cold, they're cold. Bring them in

We all came from fish, why can't whales return to fish?

In the pan...

...try

"Stand clear, orbital barrage incoming"

Wait wrong game