this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 101 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

The Kool-Aid Man is the only person whom you can be 100% sure isn't full of shit.

[–] chemical_cutthroat 10 points 4 months ago

Unless he has an intestinal tear...

[–] jaybone 8 points 4 months ago

Look at Mr. Healthy Bowel Movement over here.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 4 months ago (3 children)

There must be some perverse incentives for the Kool-Aid Man to sell the blood of his species to humans.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] ericisshort 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Yeah, I know a few humans that also trade the blood of their species for that same perverse incentive.

[–] jaybone 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

9 out of 10 mass murdering cult leaders recommend.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone 2 points 4 months ago

So embarrassing when my friends from the other cult come over and we have the store brand suicide drink.

[–] byroon 1 points 4 months ago

Is the Kool-Aid Man one of a species? Are there multiple of this MF running around?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I can hardly wait to "well ackshually" some unsuspecting person with this information

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Um, actually.*

RIP Mike Trapp. May you go on to better pastures... At Disney apparently.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wait Mike left Dropout? Who is going to host the show now???

[–] blanketswithsmallpox 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Awe hell yeah I can get down with Ify!!! What a good new host choice!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://m.piped.video/watch?v=pe6lnxZ9QbI

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

High blood sugar not high pee sugar

[–] KreekyBonez 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

indeed. urine with high sugar content has been associated with diabetes since at least the 5th/6th century BC.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Could be worse though, could have been Maple Syrup Urine Disease

[–] KreekyBonez 1 points 4 months ago

MSUD affects 1 in 4 adult Canadians

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Where are the interstitial fluids, kool-aid man? Where is the cerebrospinal fluid?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The kool-aid man is an invertebrate, dude.

[–] SeabassDan 9 points 4 months ago

It's a clear exoskeleton

[–] FenrirIII 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The glass is a shell to contain the unholy blood of Kool-aid Man.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Jesus : "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink."

Koolaid man, bursting through the wall: "Oh yeah!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I see. So he is like one of those double wall pitchers, but filled with his sweet juices instead of a vacuum. The secrets are contained in the pitcher

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

He looks single walled to me, yet he is not sweating (condensating).

Curious.

Bonus:

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 4 months ago

Does anyone else's mind make the crack go wakawakawaka and start eating pellets

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I think there's some trickery afoot. His true nature is being concealed

[–] kromem 26 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Drink of his blood and be saved (from dehydration).

[–] NegativeInf 9 points 4 months ago

But not diabetes! OH YEAH!

[–] TipRing 19 points 4 months ago (3 children)

This doesn't make sense to me. Kool-aid man is obviously a golem made from glass, crystal, diamond or transparent aluminum, something that can withstand impact with walls, though we can't rule out magical reinforcement.

The fluid inside him isn't used for biological processes, he is just carrying it around. If you empty him, he can just be refilled.

[–] Theharpyeagle 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

the proof is in the kool-aid

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] Everythingispenguins 1 points 4 months ago

This seems like a pretty reasonable hypothesis. I see only one possible flaw. Golems are known for their extreme stupidity. Only being able to follow the literal meaning of restrictions and not talking. How does that fit into the Kool-aid man golem hypothesis? This is important we need to know.

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[–] OhStopYellingAtMe 15 points 4 months ago
[–] LesserAbe 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Dumb. Any child learns that in the first grade

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I thought I learned about Wumbo... There's a Kool-Aid curriculum I missed out on?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

I can see how a llm, trained on the full body of western work, might decide 'blood' to be the favorable answer.

[–] RIP_Cheems 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So the kool-aid man changes his blood every day?

[–] RudeOnTuesdays 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The Kool-aid man donates. Do you?

[–] RIP_Cheems 7 points 4 months ago

I think it's more like we would donate to him. After all, he doesn't create his own blood, he has to get it in water and flavor packets.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And the pee is the filtered Kool Aid.

[–] YarHarSuperstar 2 points 4 months ago

Lemonade flavor Kool aid

[–] profdc9 7 points 4 months ago

These are the important questions.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

finally someone asked a pertinent question

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Our urine is practically derived from blood, so yes.

[–] Malfeasant 2 points 4 months ago

Correct answer would have been "yes".

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