this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
1050 points (97.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

6043 readers
3271 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

They are losing their fucking minds.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] hperrin 263 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I mean, the most manly and masculine thing you can do is exclusively have sex with big, masculine, manly men, right? Having sex with a woman is so emasculating, because you’re enjoying someone’s femininity, and that’s the worst possible thing for a man, so I’ve been told. Therefore, it’s super gay to have sex with women. Be a real man and exclusively have sex with your manly bros.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I’ve heard a stand up routine that was basically this and I’ve been trying to find it again ever since. I find this concept hilarious.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Ragdoll_X 165 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

I can't be the only one who thinks conservatives' constant whining about women being "too old to marry" is (for lack of a better term) really pedo coded, right? It's starting to sound like pattern...

[–] [email protected] 71 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Coded? Can this get more blatend what the actual fuck. This is worse then grab em by the pussy

“ The Wyoming Republican Party circulated an email that included an argument from lobbyists that since minors could get pregnant “marriage MUST remain open to them for the sake of those children.”

Who the fuck ars these lobbiest? Epstein?

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 157 points 11 months ago (2 children)

“Middle aged woman” fucking lol

[–] [email protected] 63 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Average lifespan is 77 for women, she’s not far off.

Also I’m middle aged, I’ve never thought of that. I need to go have my midlife crisis now.

[–] Wogi 46 points 11 months ago (7 children)

Shitty time to have to buy a Mazda Miata. But we're going to need you to go ahead and get one purchased.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] deweydecibel 46 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

"Middle age" has never been about being exactly 50% of the way through the average life span. It's much less about "how much time you have left" and more about the point where you can't realistically think of yourself as young anymore. The effects of age become impossible to ignore, compounding, and increasingly obvious.

It's basically just your 40s-60s. Not the exact midpoint.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ZombieMantis 141 points 11 months ago (8 children)

I think we've done it, we've finally hit "It's gay to have sex with a woman".

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I think what they're saying is that having sex with a woman who is vastly more successful than you will ever be in six lifetimes, then that is gay.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think we reached that point a while ago.

The insanity of these statements has escalated pretty rapidly and honestly, none of it surprises me anymore. Everything you do is now gay.

I'm ok with it. If you want to think I'm gay because (insert literally anything here), then fine, I guess I'm gay. I'll go have gay sex with my very female (with female anatomy and two x chromosomes) wife, and live my happily gay life in peace, thanks.

Being gay, or being called gay, isn't an insult to me. Only juveniles would find it insulting. You know why? Because juveniles think that being different is bad. I grew up and realized that everyone is different and it's because of that difference that we, as a species, can survive. Our differences make us strong. So bluntly, call me weird, call me a freak, call me whatever the hell you want, because all you're saying is that I'm different, and different makes us stronger. I'm proud to be different than my neighbors and coworkers. I think differently than they do. I approach problems differently, I find solutions differently. That's a good thing.

I'm not always right, and I'm not always the most efficient, and that is because of the differences between me and others. I celebrate that difference and you should too.

[–] perfectlyundone 34 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Dude, phrasing…

If you want to think I'm gay because (insert literally anything here)

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan 102 points 11 months ago (11 children)

I got curious and looked in to who this guy was. And, well, Owen got banned from most socials after he called Obama the n-word, so OF COURSE Elon had to bring him back so he further share his thought with the world.

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] cmbabul 100 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I straight up do not understand these men all the way down to a practical level.

[–] [email protected] 83 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They’re not that deep. They just spastically babble nonsense, like toddlers.

[–] zoostation 172 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago (1 children)

At least the zoomies are cute and funny

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BreadstickNinja 100 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Who would be attracted to this billionaire sex symbol, who's one of the most successful performers on the planet? Madness, I tell you.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 85 points 11 months ago (2 children)

As an actual middle-aged woman who can't even name one Taylor Swift song, give me a giant fucking break. She's rich, famous, appears to have a good head on her shoulders (from what I hear at least), and makes music people really love. This sexist troglodyte is just butthurt that she dares to exist and be successful without his permission, plus he probably wants to bang her. He can fuck right off.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] TheBat 85 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I don't even listen to Taylor Swift but if she wants to have sex with me, I'd be like, 'ok mommy'.

[–] TheBat 80 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'd also wonder wtf is wrong with her

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Yep, the only point of being male is spreading that seed. Have to raise the next generation of bootlickers to keep that machine rolling!

/s obviously

Fuck these clowns

[–] DangedIfYouDid 37 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Fuck these clowns

Specifically don't, actually. But the sentiment stands.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 73 points 11 months ago (9 children)

This man speaks like ferengi Andrew Tate

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] namelivia 71 points 11 months ago (7 children)

Calling Taylor Swift a low value woman...

[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago

and don't forget "middle aged"...

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I bet Owen Benjamin would suck Trumps cock without even needing to be asked twice.

[–] PoliticalAgitator 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

"That's not gay, it's patriotic. Our commander-in-chief is tirelessly fighting the LGBT woke groomer leftist virus and if he needs a warm mouth to help him focus, it's the duty of red blooded Americans to provide one"

You can squirm out of anything when you're not worried about being honest.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 67 points 11 months ago

"she's publicly had sex with a ton of guys"

And here I thought all those recent sex tapes were AI

[–] [email protected] 66 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Taylor Swift and I may be the same age, but when did 34 become middle aged? Or has the American lifespan decreased so much that I should expect to die at age 68?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (10 children)

Average life expectancy in the US is only 72, I believe.

load more comments (10 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] drmeanfeel 65 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Taylor Swift has publically had sex with a ton of guys?

Gee you'd think that would be more scandalous news than "may be attending the super bowl, schedule pending"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] andros_rex 61 points 11 months ago (5 children)

He might be right - my boyfriend is gay and he would probably leave me for Taylor Swift.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 61 points 11 months ago (8 children)

I'm a man dating a 37yo woman, guess I'm gay now

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 59 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (7 children)

34 is middle aged

I need to lie down

Edit: even weirder whomever that guy she is dating is; he is also 34

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Veedem 59 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Legit question: is that a troll account or a guy legitimately posing the dumbest theory posted in, at least, the last 12 hours?

[–] zoostation 117 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (11 children)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owen_Benjamin

"Owen Benjamin Kares Troy-Smith (born May 24, 1980), known professionally as Owen Benjamin, is an American white supremacist,[1] Holocaust denier,[2] conspiracy theorist,[3] internet personality, as well as a far-right and alt-right Neo-Nazi.[4]"

But the bluesky account is dunking on Owen.

[–] Veedem 79 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Oh wow. Imagine having a whole Wikipedia article dedicated to how terrible of a person you are?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (10 replies)
[–] owenfromcanada 49 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Let's consult the checklist:
✅ Confused at the notion that a woman might have worth outside bearing children
✅ Shaming a woman for having more than one sexual partner in a lifetime
✅ Referring to the man as "successful" while referring to the much more rich and famous woman as "low value"
✅ Straight up homophobia

Yep, that there's a bonafide incel.

On behalf of Owens everywhere, do us a favor and get out of our name. I hear Donald is lovely this time of year.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Fades 49 points 11 months ago (14 children)

35, “middle age”

Jesus fucking Christ these sick fucks truly believe a woman’s value is at its end by 60

[–] AnUnusualRelic 34 points 11 months ago

Judging by that comment, it's at its end by 30.

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] Riccosuave 40 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Sounds like somebody is mad that nobody wants to have sex with them because they are a horrible fucking piece of shit. Boo-fucking-hoo.

[–] Thcdenton 39 points 11 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Why is no one asking why the most successful entertainer in the world right now is dating a middle aged football player whos success measured in US dollars is 1/30th of hers? By just watching his games she's made KC multiple times more than his entire net worth. Also, didn't he go on a reality dating show in front of the whole world to see? He's not high quality. She could go on to sell out literal football stadiums for years to come and he's already past the average age of retirement in the NFL. She must be gay. /S

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago

If being willing to go out with Taylor Swift makes you gay then the gay population has just increased by an incredible amount!

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I'm going to guess Owen lives with his mother and has a collection of anime dolls.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›