this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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220
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Ghostalmedia to c/lemmyshitpost
 
all 50 comments
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[–] STRIKINGdebate2 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Holy fuck. Please. Please. Please but the NSFW filter on this. I was eating and I almost gagged.

[–] Ghostalmedia 4 points 1 year ago
[–] Ceedoestrees 81 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Looks like a knotted string of butt hairs connected across the diameter of the anus, splitting the turd in twain. At some point the pressure of the bowel movement overstressed the butt hair bridge, snapping it and allowing the remainder of the shit to come out as one.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

The fact that you used the word twain while talking about what happened during a shit is amazing. Superb. No notes.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm not sure I agree, the diameter of the trunk isn't significantly different from the diameter of the branches. If it were split, the branches should be half as wide.

I think what happened is that the beginning of the turd was the top of the trunk, and it broke where the end of the lower-right branch is. You can see that it broke at an angle. Then the remaining part came out and that angled bit is where the left branch attaches to the trunk. I think it landed there in it's soft/warm state and merged together at that point. You can see that the color of the top of the left branch is the same as the end of the right branch, then transitions to lighter.

And that's as much turd analysis as I want to do today.

[–] Rootiest 2 points 1 year ago

Take my upvote you filthy animal

[–] VelvetGentleman 2 points 1 year ago

The simplest explanation is that someone merged them together by hand in order to take a picture of it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Found the butthole/shit expert

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Now we're shitposting

[–] DanglingFury 7 points 1 year ago

It's not a waffle stomp. It's a noodle press

[–] Viking_Hippie 2 points 1 year ago

In this episode of Ceedoestrees: Poop Detective!

Seriously though, that's some impressive reasoning!

[–] distantsounds 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Artemis, dat u?

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My dog laid this dick shaped turd in 2018

[–] SonnyVabitch 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Saved to favourites, did you?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Saved the turd for later, too

[–] TseseJuer 2 points 1 year ago

it's the circleeee of lifeee

[–] PRUSSIA_x86 1 points 1 year ago

as one does

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Amazing, and you kept it in your photos until just the right time.

Future archeologists are going to have a field day with all our leftover photos.

[–] ook_the_librarian 8 points 1 year ago

It makes you wonder what else is on the camera roll and which shitposts will unlock its secrets.

[–] midori 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] GombeenSysadmin 8 points 1 year ago

Now this is shitposting!

[–] FlyingSquid 42 points 1 year ago

You know... maybe putting a camera with a near-infinite capacity for free photos in everyone's pocket a was bad idea...

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Kyrgizion 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Two shits laid on top of each other fused

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

It’s not possible to upvote and downvote at the same time. That’s frustrating.

[–] ook_the_librarian 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I believe this caused when two dogs poop "lady and the tramp" style.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

This is bringing back memories of not only finding the same thing, but also of the turd that I found in my front flower box one February that was full of cables.

I present that turd to you now.

[–] SpraynardKruger 7 points 1 year ago

The forbidden noodles

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ beurk. And is that an undigested pill.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

…and an adjacent chicken wing

[–] son_named_bort 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's the lucky turd. You're supposed to eat it for good luck.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No dont eat it! You're supposed to break it in half like a wishbone.

[–] ralakus 2 points 1 year ago

And then eat it

[–] MrJameGumb 11 points 1 year ago

Passing that must have been a real pain in the ass...

[–] Thcdenton 9 points 1 year ago
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 6 points 1 year ago

Oh I have two buttholes. That was mine.

[–] AFaithfulNihilist 4 points 1 year ago

When you come to the fork in the road, take it.

[–] johannesvanderwhales 4 points 1 year ago

Miles "Tails" Prower was here

[–] JeeBaiChow 4 points 1 year ago

The elusive petrified rabbit(tm) personal massager. Some ancient astronaut theorists believe such technology was beyond what humanity was capable of at the time. The question is: who gave the technology to our ancestors?