this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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[–] Transcendant 53 points 11 months ago (4 children)

My first thought after laughing at this was... "wtf even IS myyrh, anyway?"

a fragrant gum resin obtained from certain trees and used

Cheap fucking bastard gave the baby Jesus chewing gum.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Myrrh isn't really a chewing gum, moreso a resinous material which can be used as both a binder and a scent. It's often used in incense along with other resins and gums like copal. Other examples of gums include gum Arabic and xanthan gum

[–] CodexArcanum 17 points 11 months ago

And frankincense, one of two other gifts of the magi. The third is unaromatic gold, of course. Here's some jewelry and a bunch of funeral scents kid, hope your step-dad got you a toy.

[–] Transcendant 6 points 11 months ago

Stop ruining my jokes with additional info, damn it!

[–] Madison420 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's used in incense and was worth as much or more than gold because it's hard to collect in mass.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Seems like calling Myrrh “chewing gum” would be akin to calling a factory-new Bugatti Chiron “a busted-ass jalopy”. Which, depending on whom you’re talking to, is exactly what the Bugatti might be, I reckon.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The German word sounds similar to a German word for carrot so as a child I thought that's what he got

[–] Transcendant 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Bet you were wondering wtf was so wise about that wise man.

"I bring you Frankincense!"

"I bring you gold!"

"I bring you carrots, herp derp"

[–] hakunawazo 2 points 11 months ago
[–] AnUnusualRelic 2 points 11 months ago

What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.

[–] Bunnylux 40 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Not to be pendantic, but the wise men were visitors from the far east, not the same Romans that went on to crucify Jesus according to the myth

[–] NewNewAccount 38 points 11 months ago

I think the “we” here is humanity.

[–] WayTooDank 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well maybe the romans were just faster than them?

[–] hakunawazo 3 points 11 months ago

They also had the cooler pole.

[–] hydrospanner 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

And in fairness the Romans did do it, but only at the absolute insistence of the Jewish religious leaders.

[–] 15liam20 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Here they come, any second now.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Unthankful genZ! Just got a present and all they do is asking unrelated questions. Next time you'll get no myrrh, how does that sound?

[–] fluxion 8 points 11 months ago

God himself can die for our sins but kids these days just bitch and whine about how "unfair" that is

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Particularly relevant since myrrh was used as a burial spice.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it was the myrrh that resurrected Jesus. I'm taking a bag of myrrh to the cemetery this afternoon and see what havoc I can wreak.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Myrrh at the time was an anointing oil used during burial rights/ preparation, so no.

[–] jopepa 1 points 11 months ago

Jesus, Lazarus, and I can’t think of anyone else who died at the time, but those two came back, so maybe?

[–] JimVanDeventer 10 points 11 months ago

“You get gold.”

“You get frankincense.”

“But wait, there’s myrrh!”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Nailed to the North Pole. Just more proof of war crimes that have been occurring in the War on Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Meanwhile, to help Mary take her mind off that, here is some nail polish

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 11 months ago

"Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye."