this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 238 points 11 months ago (5 children)

For years there was the "Phantom", a notorious criminal, haunting all of Europe. DNA testing revealed that it was a female and her crimes ranging from petty theft to murder were seemingly unrelated to each other. That each of them were done in different countries didn't make solving the case any easier.

But eventually they did solve it. They found the woman working in a cotton swab factory. Turned out many police departments were using the wrong type of swabs. So there seem to be more than one way to incorrectly use cotton swabs.

[–] Stanwich 57 points 11 months ago

MOVIE IDEA!! imagine a movie that takes you all over Europe following a killer and thief . Stumping the best cops. I'm thinking sort of following a cops career looking for this person until it ruins his family and life. Like destroys him slowly until he has nothing left . Kills himself. Through out the movie is close up shots of all the times cotton swabs were used in testing DNA. Randomly scattered. Ending shot of some factory . Camera flies in to assembly line. Two women side by side packing cartons. One look over and says. ''You'll end up in the office if they catch you without gloves again''.

[–] themeatbridge 35 points 11 months ago (7 children)

The hell was she doing on the factory line to get her DNA on all the swabs?

[–] [email protected] 53 points 11 months ago

Probably packing them with her bare hands.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Existing. People shed DNA all over. Most of the dust in your house is human skin and hair (or that of your pets). Non-sterile swabs are probably just packed with bare hands, by someone in their regular clothing.

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[–] errer 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

She was shoving each and every swab up her ass. Her ass swabs she called them. In conversations it gave her the upper hand. Check your bathroom, inside? Her ass swabs. Something in your ear had been up her ass!

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Probably not all the swabs. Maybe just packaging. That way her DNA would've only gone to some swabs and thus making it take longer to find the error.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Well. I've seen a video where a guy tried to put a pickle jar in his pooper and then a whoopsie happened where the jar breaks.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago

"Rectum? Damn near killed him!"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Ah, 1 Man 1 Jar.

[–] punkwalrus 69 points 11 months ago (14 children)

Scissors and knives.

I used to sell high end stuff like that, and let me tell you, there's a trope about crafters considering murder when someone uses their, say, fabric scissors or sewing scissors to cut paper or something that ruins them. For scissors, however, nothing is more expensive and delicate than a decent set of haircutting shears used by professional hair stylists. Fuck, some go into the HUNDREDS of dollars or more. And then some clown wants to cut some box open with them.

Knives, though. Good set of chefs knives goes into the thousands. Like the kind used by professional chefs. I had some chef clients who tell me horror stories about some kitchen yokel using a $350 hand forged Santoku to stab open a can of tomato paste or toss into a cutting board like a throwing knife.

But even basic knives. People using them as prybars, hammers, screwdrivers, and tossing them in a drawer with other metal rattling around.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago

"Never use a knife as anything but a knife or you'll end up disappointed and with a broken knife."

Not sure where I heard that first, but it's stuck with me.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 11 months ago (29 children)

I swear every time my spouse tries to use wd40 I have a stroke. We have several kinds of specific lubes for different situations ffs, all in the same easy to access bin, stop trying to use wd40 as a catch all super lube that's not how it works.

People don't send letters much anymore but please don't lick the envelopes. Just dip a finger in water. Just as easy, less germy, and doesn't cause a lingering chemical taste.

Nobody seems to understand how to use dental dams. Look it up, stay safe people.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

Greetings from my wife. She wanted me to send you this picture:

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wd40 isn't lube at all, it's a solvent. Though the wd40 brand does make a whole lot of lubricants too.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Yea, it's called Water Displacement formula 40. A penetrating oil mixed with stuff. Not nearly as goid as grease

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (4 children)

But those envelopes are tasty...

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Casually suggest using WD40 as lube for the next sexy time. When they say "what," you can say "why not? You use it for everything else." Maybe it'll click.

Of course, this advice may negatively impact this, and possibly several future potential sexy times, but it's a small sacrifice if it keeps people from using god damned WD40 as a fucking lube.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 11 months ago (3 children)

You're telling me not to clean my ears with swabs???? I'm sorry, but I will swear forever that they are intended for the ears. The only issue is that the makers don't want to get sued if anyone hurts themselves. I mean, c'mon, the Japanese use both ends of these in their ears! You want me to start doing that?

mimikaki

more | info

[–] [email protected] 58 points 11 months ago

They were specifically created for cleaning ears. First line of the wikipedia history.. The reason Q-Tip says not to use them in ears is plausible deniability. They know they mostly get used to cleaning ears. But it's incredibly easy to puncture your eardrum doing that. In order to stop people from suing them for using their product in its main use case and hurting themselves, they simply specifically instruct against using it that way. While that is a wholly ridiculous falsehood, without it they'd have probably been sued so much that no one would make them. And then I wouldn't be able to clean my ears.

[–] dingus 25 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I've been cleaning my ears with an "ear syringe" for years. Just squirt some warm water from the faucet in there and you can hear again. Works great and is reusable. They are like 10 bucks at your local drug store.

[–] SpaceNoodle 16 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I don't like having water stuck in my ear.

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[–] mirtuevagnet 19 points 11 months ago

Most Japanese people have dry earwax: http://drypharmacist.com/types-of-earwax.html

Obviously this is cleaned differently compared to wet earwax.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I see people put fqdns into search engines all the time.

Stop searching for things like β€œespn.com”, just put it in the address bar.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

My old boss would type google.com into the chrome search box (not the address bar) then click the link for Google, and search for Gmail.com.

My wife works full time remote and had to have IT take over her computer and she watched him type google into the search bar.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (3 children)

what do you do about googles 'omnibar'? its the most infuriating combination of address and search boxes, and there is absolutely no way to turn it off.

oh yeah, one way: firefox.

its still triggers me to this day as the last straw for me and google

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (9 children)

Firefox has omnibox and it’s not as easy to turn off as you think. The immediately available settings do some things like add the β€œsearch” box back but the β€œURL” box still functions as the omnibox. Have to play around with about:config and even then I haven’t figured out how to change it turn back time to the before times.

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[–] RampantParanoia2365 45 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Q-tips were very clearly designed to clean ears. They just have to cover their ass now, and tell people it's not safe. (I do not personally have very gooey ear wax and don't use them much at all)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (6 children)

As someone with wax issues in the ears, no, q-tips suck at cleaning ears. You'll end up pushing the wax into your eardrum and causing the impacted wax that you were trying to avoid in the first place. That's why I use those tiny screwdrivers. /shrug

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Screwdrivers are not actually pry bars.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Says you. I have a set of old, cheap screwdrivers specifically for use as tiny prybars.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands!

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (9 children)

the tea bag was originally just a cheesecloth bag containing a loose leaf tea sample, and you were supposed to remove the tea from the bag

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago

They aren't being used wrong. It's just that no one will say it's OK to use them that way for liability purposes for when someone inevitably screws it up or already has too much wax. It also depends on what type of wax your ears make (people have different kinds. Wet, dry, or somewhere in between)

I've used them for decades "the wrong way" and checked my ear canal with a little bluetooth camera thing made for ears. My canal and eardrums are immaculate, so it happens to work great for me.

Cotton swabs were invented in the 1920s for the purpose of ear cleaning. They were marketed as such until around 1980 when the market became worried about lawsuits from people stabbing their ear drums or people with lots of wet wax built up already in their ears compacting it towards the ear drum instead of it getting cleaned out.

[–] Num10ck 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

a kitchen sink is not a storage place. wd-40 is not a lubricant. sex is not a weapon.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

The ceiling fan: it changes directions with a switch, clockwise for winter, counterclockwise for everything else. Also opening those glass DoΓ±a MarΓ­a mole sauce jars: gotta flip it upside down on a paper towel and pry where the lid indicates, then flip it rightside up and twist

Edit here's a vid that I learned from for the mole sauce. pipedbot do your thing pls

[–] lwuy9v5 16 points 11 months ago

Oh god, please for the love of god use a spoon and not a knife tip, though

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[–] RBWells 24 points 11 months ago (12 children)

Well, my youngest child saw me opening a can recently and yelled "THAT'S how you use it?!" They had apparently been holding it horizontally and thinking the can opener sucked.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (2 children)

How old are they? If they are 4 that's cute, if they are 24 I'm concerned for their safety.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I never use them to clean my earsz I use them to masturbate my ears. Nothing so good as a good ear scratching

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

No, I clean my ears with warm water. I dry them with cotton swabs.

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