this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
60 points (98.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27160 readers
2770 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've really fantasized about being able to view my stats after I die. I come back to word counts pretty often. Or how many "near misses" I've had, if any I suppose.

[–] DrMango 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Holy shit I thought I was the only one. I've thought about this for decades! I think it would be so cool to have access to and comprehension of an omniscient record of my life after I die.

How many liters of urine did I expel? How many birds have I seen? What is my most used word? How many miles have I traveled? The data is endless!

[–] HonoraryMancunian 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What is my most used word?

The

[–] gothic_lemons 4 points 1 year ago

Nah pretty sure my would be uuummmm

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yes yes yes! All these trivial things that I will look up and say "Neat!". My heaven is pretty simple haha

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Number of times people have masturbated to me.

(Spoiler: it’s zero)

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] victorz 10 points 1 year ago
[–] KammicRelief 3 points 1 year ago

but how do you know?!?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

How much splooge I've nutted in whatever the funniest whole unit could be

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My suggestions for units of measurements, in no specific order:

  • Thimbles
  • Water balloons
  • Per hoppus foot
  • Cord and rick
  • Burlap potato sacks
  • Waffle irons
  • Size 11 wooden clogs
  • Drums
  • Silos
  • Minecarts
  • Blimps/zeppelins
  • Potential babies
[–] A_Random_Idiot 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You've nutted 397,405 times the total earth population last year. *

~measured as per sperm, not by volume or weight~

[–] TehBamski 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are you by any chance the cum box dude?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh dear, I was hoping that one would die with reddit.

[–] TehBamski 3 points 1 year ago

Well, it became internet history years ago. So... unless you want to spend your one chance to change history on the removal of the cum box story, I don't see any other way. Haha

[–] BrianTheeBiscuiteer 2 points 1 year ago

I'm thinking teaspoons.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

How many times I’ve gotten out of a comfortable sitting position to let my dog in

[–] cheese_greater 2 points 1 year ago

In Soviet Russia, Bear-that-ate-dog lets YOU in!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Disk, RAM, CPU and GPU usage stats compared to other people. I suppose a lot of them are built like proper servers with their good memory while I can't remember jack shit, like information from RAM never get stored.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

my massive massive penis length. But not how female I am. or how much of a liar I am.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I believe that someday scientists will develop a tool that will be able to accurately measure your gargantuan penis, once we have the technology.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I look forward to breaking such a tool with my tool.

[–] GONADS125 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Big dicks come with big dick problems.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Frequency of nice things said about me per year, especially as a ratio of good to bad.

I'd be fascinated to know what the peek's correspond to

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] cheese_greater 2 points 1 year ago

Psssh, such a Squirrel answer🐿️

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

How many times I've been right when my husband and I have differing recollections of something.

[–] TehBamski 8 points 1 year ago

I would love to know how many websites I've visited since I began using the internet.

[–] AverageGoob 8 points 1 year ago

Give me my brains S.M.A.R.T stats. I feel something has been rattling up there so feel it's about time to be replaced.

[–] GONADS125 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I am in the 1% of humans worldwide who can lick their own elbows.

Please, no autographs..

Edit: I'm dumb and misread the question. I read it like: "What statistic about yourself do you desire the world to know about?"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

total number of mouse clicks

[–] TehBamski 1 points 1 year ago

Are you a FPS gamer?

[–] A_Random_Idiot 7 points 1 year ago

I just want to know why the only women willing to give me the time of day are mentally unstable abusers.

also, maybe, how long of a wall 3 foot tall and 6 inches thick could have been made from my total bowel movements.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Total hours spent listening to music. And where I am on the leaderboard lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Details of what all books I've read. Impossible to remember details

[–] Ejh3k 5 points 1 year ago

How many French fries I've eaten.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

How much money I’ve spent on her.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver 4 points 1 year ago

Exactly how many people I've transported by ambulance in the past 36 years?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Total amount of Energy consumed

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Status effects.

I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with my brain.

[–] TehBamski 2 points 1 year ago

Don't we all?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I wanna see my KDR.

"Hold up... How is it 684:10?"

[–] fluke 3 points 1 year ago

Found the cat.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Runway remaining/life expectancy.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd want to know how many bong hits I have taken in my life.....

[–] Globulart 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Number of joints would be a depressing number I fear. Amount spent on weed would probably hurt more, but put that next to amount spent on alcohol and I'd probably feel ok about it.