I've really fantasized about being able to view my stats after I die. I come back to word counts pretty often. Or how many "near misses" I've had, if any I suppose.
this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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Holy shit I thought I was the only one. I've thought about this for decades! I think it would be so cool to have access to and comprehension of an omniscient record of my life after I die.
How many liters of urine did I expel? How many birds have I seen? What is my most used word? How many miles have I traveled? The data is endless!
What is my most used word?
The
Nah pretty sure my would be uuummmm
Yes yes yes! All these trivial things that I will look up and say "Neat!". My heaven is pretty simple haha
Number of times people have masturbated to me.
(Spoiler: it’s zero)
Not anymore 🤤
Me next?
but how do you know?!?
How much splooge I've nutted in whatever the funniest whole unit could be
My suggestions for units of measurements, in no specific order:
- Thimbles
- Water balloons
- Per hoppus foot
- Cord and rick
- Burlap potato sacks
- Waffle irons
- Size 11 wooden clogs
- Drums
- Silos
- Minecarts
- Blimps/zeppelins
- Potential babies
You've nutted 397,405 times the total earth population last year. *
~measured as per sperm, not by volume or weight~
Are you by any chance the cum box dude?
Oh dear, I was hoping that one would die with reddit.
Well, it became internet history years ago. So... unless you want to spend your one chance to change history on the removal of the cum box story, I don't see any other way. Haha
I'm thinking teaspoons.
How many times I’ve gotten out of a comfortable sitting position to let my dog in
In Soviet Russia, Bear-that-ate-dog lets YOU in!
Disk, RAM, CPU and GPU usage stats compared to other people. I suppose a lot of them are built like proper servers with their good memory while I can't remember jack shit, like information from RAM never get stored.
my massive massive penis length. But not how female I am. or how much of a liar I am.
I believe that someday scientists will develop a tool that will be able to accurately measure your gargantuan penis, once we have the technology.
I look forward to breaking such a tool with my tool.
Big dicks come with big dick problems.
Frequency of nice things said about me per year, especially as a ratio of good to bad.
I'd be fascinated to know what the peek's correspond to
Psssh, such a Squirrel answer🐿️
How many times I've been right when my husband and I have differing recollections of something.
I would love to know how many websites I've visited since I began using the internet.
Give me my brains S.M.A.R.T stats. I feel something has been rattling up there so feel it's about time to be replaced.
I am in the 1% of humans worldwide who can lick their own elbows.
Please, no autographs..
Edit: I'm dumb and misread the question. I read it like: "What statistic about yourself do you desire the world to know about?"
total number of mouse clicks
Are you a FPS gamer?
I just want to know why the only women willing to give me the time of day are mentally unstable abusers.
also, maybe, how long of a wall 3 foot tall and 6 inches thick could have been made from my total bowel movements.
Total hours spent listening to music. And where I am on the leaderboard lol
Details of what all books I've read. Impossible to remember details
How many French fries I've eaten.
How much money I’ve spent on her.
Exactly how many people I've transported by ambulance in the past 36 years?
Total amount of Energy consumed
Status effects.
I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with my brain.
Don't we all?
I wanna see my KDR.
"Hold up... How is it 684:10?"
Found the cat.
Runway remaining/life expectancy.
I'd want to know how many bong hits I have taken in my life.....
Number of joints would be a depressing number I fear. Amount spent on weed would probably hurt more, but put that next to amount spent on alcohol and I'd probably feel ok about it.