this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Resurfaced comments in which new House Speaker Mike Johnson talked about how he and his son monitor each other's online activity using "accountability software" have raised questions about national security.

Johnson, a Republican who was first elected to Congress in 2016, spoke in 2022 about how he installed software called Covenant Eyes on his devices during a panel called "War on Technology" at Cypress Baptist Church in Benton, Louisiana, Rolling Stone reported.

According to a clip first posted on X, formerly Twitter, by a user called Receipt Maven, Johnson spoke about how the subscription-based service helps people abstain from internet porn and "objectionable" websites.

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[–] [email protected] 305 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I thought this was overblown at first glance but reading into it...

From Wikipedia:

Accountability software typically functions by continuously making screenshots of the user's mobile phone or computer screen and monitoring their internet traffic. It checks both for keywords (such as "gay" or "porn") and images associated with the behavior the software is intended to detect.

So like even if the Speaker is on a VPN securely viewing classified material, if it's on his phone or laptop, Covenant Eyes now has screenshots of it. That is very much a breech of national security if that is happening.

[–] Jimbabwe 178 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Holy balls, it costs almost as much as Netflix ($204/year) and all it does is spy on you?! I’m not an evil man but these idiots ask for this service. I wish I’d thought of it.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

it costs almost as much as Netflix ($204/year)

LMAO what?! My god, it could not be more obvious that every single anti-porn crusader out there has serious issues with self-control and project it onto the rest of society. And let's not even get into the fact that they have a ridiculously unhealthy understanding of human sexuality.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Casually browses fetish porn knowing that I’m not the only one while knowing I’m not in the majority.

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[–] ghostdoggtv 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

ridiculously unhealthy

I would argue that they don't understand human sexuality. Point blank.

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[–] littlewonder 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm in the wrong business.

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm sure there's no chance that a "Christian-based surveillance company" is mishandling the data they collect in insecure or nefarious ways.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fun fact: Before starting his weird anti-porn spyware company the CEO of Covenant Eyes, Ronald DeHaas, worked as a geologist for Chevron in the 70s. In fact, he's still helping to destroy the planet by working as a consultant for the petroleum industry. He never actually stopped. So he's always been an unscrupulous P.O.S.

[–] Zippit 50 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Why always get the gays involved? I swear, these people are obsessed with penises and projecting at this point.

I mean I'm a straight woman, I watched one video just because I was curious about the practicality of things and was too embarrassed to harass a gay friend about it.

But when I want to get horny now, it doesn't even cross my mind. Even though there was one scene with Nick Offerman that was really hot in The Last of Us.

So major projection from these people.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Some Christian men talk about “SSA” (same sex attraction) and their struggle to “resist the temptation”. As a non-repressed straight man, this is not something I’ve ever dealt with. I feel bad that these people are so indoctrinated and intimidated by their weird-ass culture that they can’t just relax and go grab a dick.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It’s because Christianity (and by nature, offshoots of it) was, and still is, a means of control.

Let’s not forget the roots of Christianity was from when it was a literal cult; you were considered a part of the Christian Cult if you practiced Christianity before iirc either Theodosius or Constantine became the Roman Emperor and made it into the state religion. Christmas was also stolen from Sol Invictus as a means to help bridge the transition into Christianity.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That's exactly what it is, a major projection of their own inner sexual turmoil. Whether they are closeted homosexuals or not, and really in the case of Mike Johnson I hope he isn't because I don't want him among us LGBTQ folks, they definitely are projecting some hugely enormous interest in the sex behaviors and genitalia of other dudes. As a gay man - I'm kind of in awe of their penchant for penis worship.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

All this monitoring and over monitoring of what people are looking at online. Honestly if people aren't trolling for underage sex hookups or trying to encourage gross behaviors online, who the hell cares what people look at. Covenant Eyes - that name just says it all about the hypocrisy of religious zealotry. You can be happy! You can be free! Just do what the hell we tell you and don't you DARE look at anything we don't approve of, you born sinner and miserable wretch!!! WE'RE WATCHING YOU!!!!! Because Jesus would want us to.

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[–] Sweetpeaches69 157 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Imagine needing spying accountability software to not watch gay porn. These weird homophobes really are the gayest of them all.

[–] Feirdro 71 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Oh, no, it’s the porn that’s the problem, just being there all hot and gay.

[–] thorbot 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, god forbid the hot gayness leap out at unsuspecting homophobes! Better get some STRONG software to keep it at bay, instead of just, you know, just NOT BROWSING PORN SITES

[–] dynamojoe 15 points 1 year ago

The thing is he's admitting he has a problem he can't control. Just not doing a thing is the reasonable approach for people who have self control.

It also is an admission that the GOP's preferred solution to temptation is doomed. Just Say No to drugs. Abstinence-only birth control. But he needs to subscribe to a service to keep him from watching porn.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

A lot of gay porn, like much straight porn, is really hot. I'm gay but some straight porn I've seen is really incredible. No one will ever convince me that enjoying people having sexual pleasure together is wrong, bad, indecent, immoral, or grotesque (unless it involves watching trump or mike johnson engage in it - which would be my definition of gross indecency).

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[–] Kbobabob 42 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I think everyone should be allowed to watch all the gay porn they want. Even Mike Johnson.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I grew up in the far right evangelical Christian church and watching people's horror when they hear little tidbits about how fucked up it is always entertaining to me. I know a bunch of people who use the same software on their computers.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Triggering the apocalypse? Yes please!

Triggering an orgasm? Satan's work.

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[–] _number8_ 51 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

this shit is so fucking creepy and insane. if literal receipts about the porn i look at came up in a family conversation for any reason whatsoever my brain would melt and explode. how are these freaks so outwardly successful but behind closed doors they're spying on their son's porn viewing??

how does this motherfucker do speaking tours with these blood curdling weird christians and become like the 4th most powerful person in government? why do we keep respecting people who can't even jerk off like an adult? we used to be a proper country! we used to do rebellions!

he doesn't even have any particular juice or charisma! he's just white and clean shaven and wears a button down! give him the fucking keys to congress! jesus fucking christ

[–] KillerTofu 19 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Don’t forget, he shares his porn with his son too!

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

All the fucking cybersecurity bullshit I gotta go to as a network admin for a federal contractor and the baddies can just have some tech illiterate federal representative install whatever back doors they want on their personal computers under the guise of morality or whatever.

[–] Cyanogenmon 19 points 1 year ago

Hello fellow admin.

Feel the same way. The most secure network is only as secure as its dumbest user.

Sadly we're still a couple hundred years off of that being less of a concern :/.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Wait, this dude is such a deviant he needs to install software on his own devices to keep him away from porn?

Let me guess, his wife once found gay porn on his computer, and he said he didn't know anything about it and did the typical conservative "doth protest too much" thing and decided that paying for a porn filter would give him cover to keep looking at porn?

Do these people really think they are fooling anyone?

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[–] Yewb 50 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Does he so desperately want to look at porn that he needs this? How about will power?

Who the fuck are these people.

[–] PlantDadManGuy 15 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I cannot imagine being so pathetic that I need a subscription to help me not watch porn. But even if I were, how hard is it to just set up parental security password, and ask someone else to set it for you so you don't know what the password is. What a moron.

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[–] Machinist 42 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Former fundie here. Y'all are probably misinterpreting what is going on.

Mike Johnson is a True Believer™ from what I've seen. Doesn't mean he's not a terrible person, but his motives and actions aren't necessarily as simple as repressed urges to view gay porn.

The most likely explanation is that Mike Johnson's son was watching porn and got caught, probably more than once. He probably admitted his guilt early on, but he attempted to hide the activity. So, not only do you have the kid for sexual immorality but you've got him for dishonesty. After hours of lectures at the boy - involving his mother, father, possibly clergy or youth leadership - the poor kid is probably swearing on a stack of bibles that he sees the light and will never do it again. That's not good enough. He can't be trusted as this isn't the first time.

This passage was probably pounded in bone deep:

Matthew 5:

27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

So, the boy should rip out his own eyes and cut off the hand he jacks off with. Maybe he should castrate himself. If the behavior continues, he's willfully hellbound. Doesn't he understand?

So, Mike Johnson, wonderful paragon of fatherly leadership, says they will both install this software. That way he can prove what a good person he is and bear the cross of his son's sin. See how great he is? He's helping the boy with his problem. Barf.

So, now the kid's 'sin' is making national news and impacting his father who is a Great Man™.

Christian guilt in a nutshell.

I really feel for the poor bastard. Hopefully he makes it out from under the shadow of his father's insanity. It's truly evil shit.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

So God is a supernatural, omniscient, all-seeing entity that can speak directly into your mind, but you still need to pay a company $20/month to snoop on your devices for "accountability" so that you don't look at all that very tempting gay porn on the internet.

Ok...

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This dude is super creepy and I hate he's in congress, much less the speaker, but does anyone feel like the other headline "monitors each others porn activities" purposely makes it seem like they're each reviewing the porn they each do look at and making sure isn't toooo skeevy? Like it's weird enough, do you have to push it?

Made me picture them high fiving each other the next day, "yeah buddy! I saw that one, too. Nice."

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the headline's intent is more "what did he get caught doing which prompted the need for him to buy a porn blocker for his own machine?"

Like, nobody in the world does that unless someone caught them looking at porn.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

"Does he have weird third-party monitoring software on his government phone?" is what the headline is referencing, that's a massive problem. Confidential info could end up who-knows-where if it was sniffed.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (11 children)

It's bad enough living in Utah where you're expected to "live the word of the Covenant" every day or be damned. People showing up at our doors to ask what we're looking at online to make sure we're living the word of Jesus. Jesus! For Christ's sake, what do I care about jesus!!!! Can you imagine anything more horrible than having to be monitored by someone else who thinks you're not up to the "lord's" standards?!!?!

To HELL with that nonsense. It's one reason I'm not just non-religious but actively anti-Mormon. Oh sure these mormon assholes think they're made of sunshine and Jesus' farts, but in reality they're just as sleazy, bent, evil, contemptible, and manipulative as anyone else. Moreso in fact. People are not "saints." They aren't supposed to be. And no well-adjusted mentally healthy person would ever WANT to be. So to hell with this monitoring each other bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (12 children)

People showing up at our doors to ask what we’re looking at online to make sure we’re living the word of Jesus.

What? That's not really happening is it?

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[–] BeautifulMind 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's one thing if you want to subject your personal/private online life to a sort of virtual panopticon, but if you want to also look at classified material while also letting your morality cops peep over your shoulder, that should be disqualifying. Under no circumstance should a device with spyware on it have access to anything like classified material

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agreed. What also bothers me is that he admitted to having his 17 year old son be his accountability partner. He really couldn't find anyone else? It had to be his underage son? That's weird, yo

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Given christian track records? Him being underage might have been the point.

[–] postmateDumbass 27 points 1 year ago

If Mike Johnson puts that spyware on his work computer.. .

[–] Evotech 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you need to buy a 200usd/year service to make sure you don't look at gay porn you are definitely not gay

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[–] ATDA 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Morty: That just sounds like incest circle jerking with extra steps.

[–] m3t00 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

don't believe government devices will let him install that crap. may be wrong but I've read they lock them down pretty tight. his own stuff is his problem

[–] TheDoozer 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

His own stuff is potential blackmail material on a prominent politician, which is a national security concern.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This whole thing is just creepy as hell. This guy has some serious and disturbing psychological issues.

And he's a fucking politician. People actually decided that they wanted him to represent them in government.

More all the time, I feel like I've somehow been trapped on an alien planet, surrounded by a bizarre race of inexplicably stupid lunatics.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:


Resurfaced comments in which new House Speaker Mike Johnson talked about how he and his son monitor each other's online activity using "accountability software" have raised questions about national security.

According to a clip first posted on X, formerly Twitter, by a user called Receipt Maven, Johnson spoke about how the subscription-based service helps people abstain from internet porn and "objectionable" websites.

Social media users raised concerns about whether Covenant Eyes having access to Johnson's data could "compromise" him.

Marty Taylor, the executive director of progressive PAC New Blue USA, wrote that Johnson "allows an outside Christian based surveillance company 'Covenant Eyes' to access his electronic devises and prepare a weekly report to make sure he is not viewing any 'objectionable' material.

Others echoed the sentiment, with one user writing that "with any public office holder, but particularly someone who's second in line to the Presidency, this is a profound national security risk."

Johnson, an evangelical Christian, has come under scrutiny since being elected to the speakership in October following weeks of infighting among House Republicans.


The original article contains 527 words, the summary contains 176 words. Saved 67%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

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