this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
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House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) responded on Sunday to a report by The Daily Beast that highlighted his apparent lack of a bank account on his financial disclosure.

The response, however, did not actually answer whether he had one.

Fox News Sunday moderator Shannon Bream pressed Johnson on whether he had a bank account, citing a Vanity Fair write-up of The Daily Beast’s report and noting that “there’s been so much made about it.”

“Can you clear that up for us?” Bream asked.

Johnson did not.

“Look, I’m a man of modest means,” Johnson said. “I was a lawyer, but I did constitutional law, and most of my career has been in the nonprofit sector. We have four kids, five now, that are very active. And I have kids in graduate school, law school, undergraduate. We have a lot of expenses, but I can relate to everybody else. My father was a firefighter, right? I didn’t grow up with great means. But I think that helps us to be a better leader because we can relate to every hard-working American family. That’s who we are. And I think it governs and helps govern my decisions and how I lead.”

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[–] [email protected] 156 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

This guy has three kids in college and no fucking bank accounts... Dude, is this guy congress Clarence Thomas? Fuck, it feels like these people are all body snatchers!

edit: a word

[–] dhork 81 points 1 year ago

Maybe someone should subpoena his FAFSA and see how much free money he is getting to put his kids through college

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 1 year ago (3 children)

We have four kids, five now, that are very active.

Talk about a real-time update. "OH, THIS JUST IN, SHE'S POPPED OUT ANOTHER ONE!" Or did he just briefly forget about the black one?

[–] CascadianGiraffe 5 points 1 year ago

Forgot to round up

[–] afraid_of_zombies 3 points 1 year ago

If it was a normal person I would cut him some slack. Your memory goes to shit when you are a parent about kid stuff. Kids go from potato to walking talking eating machines in a year. There are moments when you see them do something and you are like "how are you bicycling, I feel like I just changed your diaper about a month ago?".

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[–] Viking_Hippie 80 points 1 year ago (2 children)

“Look, I’m a man of modest means,” Johnson said. “

Yeah, he's modest about how many means he's hiding from the IRS.

most of my career has been in the nonprofit sector.

Specifically the Christian Right sector, which is extremely lucrative compared to most officially for profit sectors

I can relate to everybody else.

Said the man who's famously a bigot who wants government to be based on his interpretation of what his imaginary friend wants 🤦

we can relate to every hard-working American family. That’s who we are. And I think it governs and helps govern my decisions and how I lead.

I think I've cracked the code! In his vernacular, "relate to" means "abuse and steal from"! #MysterySolved

[–] RaoulDook 7 points 1 year ago

Probably getting paid by church money under the table without being taxed.

I've met regular people who do that and admitted they weren't paying taxes on the church wages, so even the little guys are getting away with that

[–] Adalast 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had a fantasy last night where I became president and made the CEO/board of directors culpable for any illegal activities of the company then placed a banking embargo on every non-extradition country. Double whammy, they run, can't access their US assets, they stay, can't access their tax haven accounts.

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[–] BassTurd 73 points 1 year ago (4 children)

How does he get his paycheck? If he actually receives a paper check, how does he cash it?

[–] dhork 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gold bars, of course. Oh wait, you mean his paycheck from the US Government, not the other ones, don't you?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

I mean, it makes sense. Where in the US would he be able to cash a check for rubles?

[–] snekerpimp 27 points 1 year ago

Cashes it at Walmart

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (4 children)

He's been in government since 2017 or earlier, and gov jobs require electronic payment. Period. I have no idea how this motherfucker can get paid by the federal government without a bank account.

Please someone explain.

[–] AstridWipenaugh 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If the Rs are going to continue supporting Santos and Clarence Thomas, they're not going to do shit to this NatC for doing far less.

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[–] xenomor 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

His creepy affect and smirk just exudes ‘hiding a kiddie porn dungeon’ vibes.

[–] kamenlady 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Absolutely... The first time I saw him in a pic, i shrouded at the smirk. In all the images I have seen him in since, he looks like he's constantly on the verge of some kind of orgasm, always this dismissive smirk in his face.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Signature smarmy smirk

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Holy shit, just answer the question, Mike

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Right? That was the most unpracticed "talk until they go away" I've ever read.

[–] halferect 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Answers that are sus for 1000

[–] Alexstarfire 7 points 1 year ago

I'd go for 100. The lowest amount has the easiest answers.

[–] ghostdoggtv 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a simple question and the criminal didn't answer it

[–] afraid_of_zombies 6 points 1 year ago

Maybe we should ask his porn accountability partner, his 17 year old son.

[–] Zippit 21 points 1 year ago

You get a red flag! You get a red flag! Everybody gets.. no you get a red flag!

[–] xX_fnord_Xx 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Somehow I'm getting two-three texts every day from this scumbag, though I've never voted conservative or signed any conservative petitions.

Different number every time, so I can't block them.

Help.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you opt out and still get texts, you can probably file a complaint with the FCC or some federal agency.

[–] CosmicCleric 3 points 1 year ago

Any email given to any government agency becomes public and purchasable by third parties.

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[–] Zerlyna 7 points 1 year ago
[–] CharlesDarwin 6 points 1 year ago

This weird little man is weird, even by GOP standards.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 6 points 1 year ago

It is amazing how all the verbal tricks and rhetoric don't work when it is written out.

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