this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago

I would give you more context but I think its funnier if I leave it without.

[–] [email protected] 131 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Because the undigested corn kernel husks are filled with poop.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 days ago (2 children)

TIL I'm corn because I'm full of shit

[–] StupidBrotherInLaw 21 points 3 days ago

If that's true, I'm an entire cob.

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[–] wolfpack86 6 points 2 days ago (4 children)

But like why did they fill up all plump and not just be like a deflated balloon.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Farts blow open the empty kernels like a plastic bag in the wind, then the poop gets in them

[–] wolfpack86 5 points 1 day ago

Finally someone with a science based explanation

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (17 children)

Most people dont chew more than 2-3 times so its kinda expected that stuff goes down unchewed

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I compulsively chew at least 11 times in a vain attempt to diminish my obesity. My lack of a sizable beer gut(versus most of my peers) shows promise, nevermind that I basically don't drink, but I assure you, the corn does not care.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Disclaimer, I have dysphagia, so this isn't meant to be the average person's experience, but... I was eating when I read this and counted how many times I chewed when I took a bite until I felt comfortable swallowing and it was 47. You're telling me normal people can chew as low as 2 times? Astounding.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

I'm in the zero to ten camp for most foods, but right there with you at 47 for fatty meat of any kind. It feels disgusting in my mouth and to swallow it without gagging I need to basically cut it up with my incisors into smaller and smaller pieces until the texture disappears.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

you're supposed to chew 30 times, but who has time for that

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

Cornshells are tough AF and we're shit at chewing.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes 23 points 3 days ago (2 children)

At least find an uncensored version. Jesus. So dumb.

[–] [email protected] 94 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] bitjunkie 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What were these books called?

[–] toynbee 18 points 2 days ago

This one appears to be called "I Guess I'll Just Go Fuck Myself: Thanks for Nothing, Dickbag McShitstain." Hope this helps!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

little critter. i had a video game of one of the books i used to play the shit out of as a kid.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just Grandma and Me where they go to the beach? I had that one and now my kid plays the shit out of it too.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Seems like an extreme reaction to a reasonable request

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I have a flair for the dramatic

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

Magikarp used splash

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

"Jesus. So dumb."

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[–] Kyrgizion 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Corn? When did I eats corn?"

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They say that's how the inventor of the machine gun had his eureka!

[–] GCanuck 2 points 1 day ago

Expound please.

[–] Agent641 13 points 3 days ago

The T-1000 variant

[–] NABDad 21 points 3 days ago (2 children)

If you really want to discover something crazy, swallow some raisins whole.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Do they come out as grapes

[–] gibmiser 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

God I hope they re-hydrate and come out plump and poo water filled

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