this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] GreenSkree 187 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (7 children)

They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help...

Standard plan:

  • 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)

Premium plan:

  • 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
  • Ad Free!

Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)

  • Mouse acceleration toggle
  • 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
  • Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
  • AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
  • Cloud backup*

*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.

Edit: formatting

[–] negativenull 48 points 1 month ago

Thanks Satan

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago

This hurts to read.

[–] Archer 13 points 1 month ago

How long could a mouse take to reboot, Michael? An hour?

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[–] RememberTheApollo_ 137 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is close enough to reality that I'm irritated.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.

[–] FelixCress 42 points 1 month ago

I didn't believe you so I googled it and you are correct. For fuck sake...

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[–] Ensign_Crab 98 points 1 month ago

Do not read aloud from a book that summons demons. Not even as a joke.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)
[–] BoxOfFeet 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Well, that's the dumbest thing I've read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that's still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn't shit, it lasts forever anyways.

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[–] synapse1278 64 points 1 month ago

It's all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it's the new norm.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

One man's meme is another monster's inspiration

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[–] iAvicenna 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)

your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.

[–] NegativeLookBehind 16 points 1 month ago

Third party clicking cartridge detected. Please purchase a supported cartridge from Logitech, or our partnered retailers.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (4 children)

☹️ but i cant click to subscribe.

[–] Valmond 19 points 1 month ago

You can, but it's 10 cents a click!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just buy a second mouse. C'mon dude, it's like you're not even trying to pay!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

puts dollar near CD drive

it actually takes it

Holy shit.

I have a CD drive!

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[–] cmrn 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan

[–] Anti_Iridium 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!

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[–] taiyang 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's a good thing that market is so saturated that there'd always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you're some sort of MMO mouse person.

That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don't need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's why they'll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Hahaha, Windows, lol.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.

[–] Professorozone 16 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I'm sorry, you are out of keyboard clicks.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Living in 2024, I'm not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that's taxes!

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[–] udon 28 points 1 month ago

Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra "click safety" package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. "Good" and "ethical" advertisers can get in touch with the "business communication" office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because "their ads are okay"

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

idk I've been thinking about getting the standard plan. 10k clicks isn't much, but If i quit Leauge, then I think i can get by. And I can't stand the ad supported basic tier anymore. I can't take one more ad for that crypto exchange

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It is often fun choosing to read "clicks" as "dicks" due to how similar they look. Imagin' you getting 10,000's of dicks via LoL every month.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

10,000 dicks a month from lol is rookie numbers, honestly.

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[–] pivot_root 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Vim users: *entirely unaffected*

[–] Agent641 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They won't even see the ad because they can't get out of Vim.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

How do I click an option when my clicks are already used up? 🤔

[–] Agent641 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tab over to it and hit Enter

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (4 children)

hits TAB

New window appears saying I am out of key presses and to select a payment option

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[–] FelixCress 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The image is of a Logitech MX master. But yes the meme is very HP coded.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

is Logitech known for this? Not this exactly, I get that it's a meme, but enshitification in general? I have a Logitech mouse and haven't experienced anything that's particularly money hungry other than the initial pricing and I think a twitch popup or something stupid

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

What will Premium Plus get for me?

img

[–] FlyingSquid 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is why you do what I do and use a trackball.

[–] BoxOfFeet 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I've had mine since 2004. I've replaced the cord 3 times, and designed a 3D printed replacement scroll wheel for it. It's still going strong.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

move those decimals over one.

Add a free tier and base it around gacha mechanics.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Every now and then there'd be a duck hunt bird flying over your windows and it would stop turning only if clicked. This is accumulative, meaning you being AFK gives you two, three ducks flying over your desktop, up to the arbitrary limit of 255.

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[–] problematicPanther 10 points 1 month ago (4 children)
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