this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] cmrn 50 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan

[–] Anti_Iridium 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!

[–] ByteMe 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And how will I click that? Oh, it's automatic! For our convenience!

[–] YoorWeb 4 points 3 days ago

"remind me later" works only if you double click it.

[–] udon 28 points 3 days ago

Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra "click safety" package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. "Good" and "ethical" advertisers can get in touch with the "business communication" office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because "their ads are okay"

[–] GreenSkree 186 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (7 children)

They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help...

Standard plan:

  • 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)

Premium plan:

  • 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
  • Ad Free!

Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)

  • Mouse acceleration toggle
  • 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
  • Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
  • AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
  • Cloud backup*

*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.

Edit: formatting

[–] negativenull 47 points 4 days ago

Thanks Satan

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 days ago

This hurts to read.

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)
[–] BoxOfFeet 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well, that's the dumbest thing I've read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that's still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn't shit, it lasts forever anyways.

[–] Breadhax0r 3 points 2 days ago

I remember back when Logitech was a brand that was known for quality.

[–] Sam_Bass 9 points 3 days ago

My current led mouse has been going for 10 years with no signs of slowing down, so take that sub and stuff it

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[–] RememberTheApollo_ 136 points 4 days ago (2 children)

This is close enough to reality that I'm irritated.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.

[–] FelixCress 41 points 4 days ago

I didn't believe you so I googled it and you are correct. For fuck sake...

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[–] Ensign_Crab 98 points 4 days ago

Do not read aloud from a book that summons demons. Not even as a joke.

[–] synapse1278 64 points 3 days ago

It's all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it's the new norm.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Living in 2024, I'm not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that's taxes!

[–] Iheartcheese 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It's only partially a joke. I can't remember who but some company was bragging about their subscription based mouse they had in the works.

Edit

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[–] iAvicenna 58 points 3 days ago (1 children)

your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.

[–] NegativeLookBehind 16 points 3 days ago

Third party clicking cartridge detected. Please purchase a supported cartridge from Logitech, or our partnered retailers.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.

[–] Professorozone 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, you are out of keyboard clicks.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'll just use my graphics tablet.

[–] Krzd 13 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I'm sorry, you're out of graphics.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 days ago (4 children)

☹️ but i cant click to subscribe.

[–] Valmond 19 points 3 days ago

You can, but it's 10 cents a click!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Just buy a second mouse. C'mon dude, it's like you're not even trying to pay!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

puts dollar near CD drive

it actually takes it

Holy shit.

I have a CD drive!

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 4 days ago (3 children)

It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

One man's meme is another monster's inspiration

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Nah, I already got the 24,99 family plan that includes 500 premium clicks every month. I just hope they don't follow through with their crackdown on account sharing.

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[–] taiyang 46 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's a good thing that market is so saturated that there'd always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you're some sort of MMO mouse person.

That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don't need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That's why they'll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I've managed to pay under $20 for all I can click mice. They last more than a year typically. Even with tariffs, I'm getting a chinese mouse, and y'all can f the f off.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

That honestly sounds like a bad deal. Before recently replacing it, I had a $35 dollar mouse that lasted through 12 years of heavy gaming. Either you are inhumanly rough on your mice, or you might want to spend a little bit more for something quality.

[–] acidrobot 5 points 3 days ago

I see you're getting a subpar keyboard rate

[–] pivot_root 22 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Vim users: *entirely unaffected*

[–] Agent641 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

They won't even see the ad because they can't get out of Vim.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago (4 children)

idk I've been thinking about getting the standard plan. 10k clicks isn't much, but If i quit Leauge, then I think i can get by. And I can't stand the ad supported basic tier anymore. I can't take one more ad for that crypto exchange

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[–] FlyingSquid 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is why you do what I do and use a trackball.

[–] BoxOfFeet 21 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

I've had mine since 2004. I've replaced the cord 3 times, and designed a 3D printed replacement scroll wheel for it. It's still going strong.

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