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Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.

No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.

We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?

Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.

Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly

Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.

Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.

Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.

Imagine being the actual John Gamer.

Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.

Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)

“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”

María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer

Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple

Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator

Kailey Influencer

🤮

I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.

Hi my name is Colin Support

In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"

Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.

can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls

Elon Nepobabyoligarchson.